Essays Page

Here are my essays; these provide a peek into some little corners of my brain. You can pick from philosophical, silly, anecdotal, or informative essays below. None were written for any kind of assignment, and many had their first posting on Everything2.com . Some that were written at a specific time no longer apply to my current situation and were written in the passion (or more often, annoyance) of a moment, so take them at face value. And best of all, you can leave comments, or read the comments of others!

You may also be interested in the Rants Page, which features essays on more subjects but always with a decidedly angry slant. The Essays Page here is more philosophical and informative; if you want angry, opinionated pieces on hot issues or things that make me mad, you'll want to see the rants.

Published Nonfiction (offsite)
Asexuality is Not Antisexuality Sex-positivity in a negative world: Published in Good Vibrations.
Sexual Attraction vs. Romantic Attraction Published in Good Vibrations.
Are Asexuals Queer? Published in Good Vibrations.
How to Be an Asexual Ally Published in Good Vibrations.
Why Should the Sex-Positive Community Promote Asexuality Awareness? Published in Good Vibrations.
Asexual Relationships Published in Good Vibrations.
Asexuality and Sexual Fluidity Published in Good Vibrations.
"Enjoy Your Houseful of Cats": On Being an Asexual Woman Published in The Toast.
"Asexuality and the Health Professional" Published in Psychology Today.
"Asexual, Aromantic, Partnerless, Childless - and Happy" Published in Drunk Monkeys.
"Asexual, Aromantic, Partnerless, Child-Free... And (Yes!) Happy" Reprint of the above, published in Everyday Feminism.
"Ten Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who's Asexual" Published in Mindbodygreen.
"Asexuality is Not a Diagnosis" Published in Psychology Today.
Philosophical/Serious/Pondery Essays
Adornment My discussion of the importance of clothing.
Adventures in Novel-Writing This is my blow-by-blow account of my growth as a writer, based on six novels I wrote.
Asexuality Top Ten I'm asexual, and most people don't know what that means. This is my essay to explain the concept. It includes a "top ten" list of reasons other people have suggested for why I'm not interested in sex, and what I think of each.
Elephant An old fable about six blind men and an elephant is reprinted here and then interpreted by me.
Hermetic Ponderings produced in response to hearing someone died. Written September 10, 2001.
I Love Ice Cream! My ode to childhood's continuation.
I've Been Duped By Satan! Exposing the logical problem of a book that claims anything outside its teachings was deliberately planted by the devil.
Instant Witch Syndrome My little lecture about people who get "into" Witchcraft after seeing a spooky movie about witches or because it's all trendy and stuff.
One Person in Two Bodies A discussion of the pitfalls of relationships that dissolve two people into one.
The Seasons A pondering about summer and its meaning.
September 11, 2001 Well, here's how my day went.
You Are Not Your Job Short piece about why it's impractical to make your job your life.
Silly Essays
Black Plague What a good excuse for missing work!
Fictional Characters I Would Hang Out With My "top 30" of characters I find interesting in all types of fiction. Illustrated, and in applicable cases includes character voice sound clips. Includes a submission section where readers can submit their own favorite character lists.
Verbing Examples of changing nouns to verbs, resulting in a theological discussion.
Personal Ramble/Anecdote-Related Essays
21 Things The essential "21 Things" I want in a close relationship of any kind. Based on Alanis Morissette's song "21 Things I Want in a Lover."
The Bible as a Thief Repellent My conversation with a guy who hides money in his Bible, and my reaction.
Diary of a Writer Stream-of-consciousness weirdness about the flow of time during the creative process.
Crappy Boss Comments How did he get to be manager anyway?
Eccentricity A reposted clip from a psych textbook defining whether a person can be considered "eccentric," with my explanation of how said attributes describe me. Surprising conclusions about eccentric people are included.
Happy Easter! My discussion of the weirdness of saying "Happy Easter" to someone who doesn't celebrate it, and what I plan to do in response.
The Horror of Romance How I came to love science fiction.
Kiss Lady The saga of a Spanish-speaking lady who routinely let her child wreck my children's section while working at the bookstore and ruined my appreciation of Spanish.
Losing My Job I lost my job as a chat host with Kids' WB! Online when the site was restructured, and this is my ramble about it.
Nighttime My discussion of being nocturnal, with a poem.
Random Stripper at Large? Why am I finding these clothes on the side of the road?
Some Vegetarians are Jerks A short description of an encounter I had with a militant vegan who judged me for wearing a leather jacket.
When Too Much Dungeons and Dragons Changes Your Religion The saga of my wannabe-Wiccan stalker, a boy whose roleplaying games seem to have gotten just a little out of hand. . . .
Why Didn't Jesus Remind You? An encounter with a preacher outside Wal-Mart, with a funny anecdote.
Why I'm a Vegetarian If you're curious about why I don't eat meat and a history of my vegetarian habits, read this.
Informative Essays and Reviews
Avenue Q This is a discussion and synopsis of the play Avenue Q, one of my favorites.
Dancing Day This is my extrapolation and explanation of John Rutter's wonderful musical piece "Dancing Day."
Doublesleep An interesting technique I invented to double your sleep benefits in the same amount of time.
Halloween Songs A list--with explanations--of good songs to put on a mix for a religious celebration for Samhain.
How To Be a Good Customer My little outline to teach you how to behave like a decent human being in a retail store.
The Inheritance Cycle Christopher Paolini's books are among the worst I've ever read, and yet they have been bestsellers. Go to this page to read my essays on the Inheritance series, view comments, and see supplemental materials.
Language Mistakes Test I've noticed that there is a breed of errors I often see made even by people who are otherwise very competent with language. Here you can take a test to see if you're guilty of any of these mistakes.
Types of Faeries I have a vague interest in folklore, and faeries are interesting to me. This page is a non-comprehensive but extensive list of different types of faeries and what their attributes are.
What If a Day? My interpretation of this poem by Thomas Campion (it's also a song that I love).
Wicked This is a write-up and discussion of the musical Wicked, which I love.


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