"Verbing" is a term for taking a noun or other part of speech and turning it into an action word. Like "trash" used to be a noun, but people started saying "trash it," and "trash" became a verb. In the words of the immortal Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, "verbing weirds language." I'm sure you'll see why.

Here are some words I'd like to verb, and some sentences to illustrate their necessity.

Religion should be verbed.

"Please stop religioning me."

Bible should be verbed. "But to be saved you must be Bibled!"

Oatmeal should be verbed.

"Leave me alone; can't you see I'm oatmealing?"

Satan should be verbed.

"If you don't get saved, you'll be Sataned!"

Anvil should be verbed.

"If you don't get out of my house, I'm going to anvil your head."

Literature should be verbed.

"Okay, if you're not receptive at the moment, at least let me literature you. Please read this tract at your convenience."

Landfill should be verbed.

"Sure, you can just put it on the table with the week-old newspapers. I'll landfill it later."

Heaven and Hell should be verbed.

"Aren't you a little close-minded when we're talking about something as important as getting Heavened or Helled?"

Buddha should be verbed.

"Well, I already have a religion, maybe we could discuss. May I Buddha you first?"

Jesus Christ should be verbed.

"Certainly not! I came here to Jesus Christ you, not to listen to talk of false gods!"

Door should be verbed.

"In that case, you are no longer welcome. Don't let your ass get doored on the way out!"

Disclaimer: I am not Buddhist or Christian, though Jesus Christers have attempted to save me from being Sataned on numerous occasions. . . .

Any comments left here are PUBLIC. If you are not comfortable with that, mail me directly.

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Comments from others:

Mikey: This was to say the least interesting, and I really liked the disclaimer.

Matt Stinson: ...Are you antireligion?

pumpkinetics: You think you've got it tough? I'm housed Right in the Middle of Jehovahing territory. (A real pain when I'm trying to sunday alone)

Soupnazi: "If you don't get out of my house, I'm going to anvil your head."

YES. Just. Yes.