Conversation with THE DJ

Categories: Asexual Bingo * Authoritative Condescension * Elitism * Rejection Rage * Unwanted Advances

[This guy IMed me after most likely doing a single female in Gainesville search. When I checked his profile, it listed a local radio station and the fact that he was a DJ. Unimpressed, I treated him like anyone else.]

THE DJ: hello....

SwankiVY2: hi

THE DJ: how are you tonight?

SwankiVY2: I'm okay, thanks for asking. You?

THE DJ: excellent!

SwankiVY2: (Well, almost okay . . . I burned my tongue on coffee last night)

THE DJ: OH! I'm live in Gainesville?

SwankiVY2: yeah.

THE DJ: how old are you?

SwankiVY2: I'll tell you if you tell me why you wanna know. :)

THE DJ: just curious...

THE DJ: read my profile.

SwankiVY2: I already did.

SwankiVY2: When someone I don't know IMs me, I check their profile.

THE DJ: really?

SwankiVY2: Yeah.

SwankiVY2: (I'm 21, by the way.)

THE DJ: really?

SwankiVY2: Yeah. . . .

SwankiVY2: why, is that surprising? :)

THE DJ: you sound interesting to me.

SwankiVY2: thanks!

SwankiVY2: I like being interesting!

SwankiVY2: Although today I have not been very interesting at all.

SwankiVY2: My activities today have included shopping at Wal-Mart, doing laundry, and doing dishes, along with a shower somewhere in there.

SwankiVY2: A very boring day.

SwankiVY2: I plan on making it less boring tonight.

THE DJ: how so?

SwankiVY2: I'm not sure, but it can't really get MORE boring.

THE DJ: DOing something unexpectedly spontaneous?

SwankiVY2: Well, I do those sorts of things often, yeah

SwankiVY2: I was kinda thinking along the lines of writing something, but I'm still blanking

SwankiVY2: My character fell asleep on a beach and now I don't know what's gonna happen when she wakes up

SwankiVY2: So I'm considering letting her stay there until I think of something

SwankiVY2: If it takes too long I'll just wake her up and see what she does, sometimes that's the best way

THE DJ: are you OK?

SwankiVY2: What do you mean?

SwankiVY2: Sure I'm okay, except for my tongue.

THE DJ: what do you look like?

SwankiVY2: Tell me why you wanna know and I'll tell you. :)

THE DJ: I am curious. Perhaps I want to invite you to my house...

SwankiVY2: Well, it's odd that you've been curious about my looks and my age before stuff that really has to do with who I am. . . .

SwankiVY2: And as for inviting to your house, I'm not sure how that ties in with what I look like. And when I meet people from the 'Net I prefer to do it in public.

SwankiVY2: Considering just about anyone could turn out to be a psycho, no offense meant.

THE DJ: I'm a public fighure.

THE DJ: figure.

SwankiVY2: That means about this much to me | |

THE DJ: People all over Gainesville know me, and trust me.

SwankiVY2: It also doesn't mean you couldn't be a psycho too. . . . :)

THE DJ: Hehe...

THE DJ: I like you.

THE DJ: You're intelligent.

SwankiVY2: I like to consider that one of my virtues. . . .

SwankiVY2: And as for your public figure stuff . . . I don't listen to the radio period, and I've never heard of ya, so I have no preconceived ideas of who you are. . . .

THE DJ: as do I.

THE DJ: You sound a bit jaded..... perhaps you are the shy type?

SwankiVY2: I'm not really jaded, but I have met an AWFUL lot of guys from AOL that don't want what I want in a conversation.

SwankiVY2: And if there's one thing I'm not, it's shy LOL

SwankiVY2: Actually, I have a really well-known bicycle and some people who've met me from the 'Net go, "Oh, my God, you're THAT girl! Wow!"

THE DJ: I understand the last reference you just made... The majority of males who "chat" online are trying to fulfill some prepubescent fantasy of anonymous intercourse...

SwankiVY2: Oh, no, not really . . . a LOT of people who are also in G'ville want to hook up with me.

SwankiVY2: They invite me to denny's and ask me if I wanna go back to their place

SwankiVY2: There's quite a lot of jerks who ask me for cybersex, but those are just amusing . . . I post their idiocy on my web page

THE DJ: I am not so depraved. With my social status I am able to meet and attract a large number of women... I simply perfer the more stimulating conversation provided by an intellectual equal or superior.

SwankiVY2: Well, good thing, you've come to the right place . . . I have no interest in being attracted to you LOL

SwankiVY2: I don't know anything about you and anyway I don't get attracted to people that way in the first place

SwankiVY2: Soo . . . I'm good for talking, and I can be quite amusing.

SwankiVY2: Anything in particular you wanna chat about?

THE DJ: are you telling me you're a-sexual?

SwankiVY2: Actually, no, asexual beings reproduce by cell division and as a humanlike creature I am incapable of that. . . .

SwankiVY2: I usually refer to it as nonsexual.

SwankiVY2: I'm just not interested in sex . . . if you want you can give me the third degree now, I've heard it all before. . . .

THE DJ: I feel this goes against baisic biology.

SwankiVY2: ::raises eyebrows:: Maybe of the general population . . . I just have no inclination whatsoever to date and mate.

THE DJ: perhaps you are chemically imbalanced?

SwankiVY2: Yeah, very possible.

SwankiVY2: I don't really care about it, it's not something I'm looking to fix. . . .

THE DJ: NO offense intended, mind you.

SwankiVY2: Oh, I know, I've heard it all . . . actually I have a list of the ten most commonly suggested reasons for my nonsexuality. . . .

SwankiVY2: chemical imbalance is #8.

SwankiVY2: (with #1 the most commonly suggested.)

THE DJ: it seems as though your sexual biology has been retarded in some manner..

SwankiVY2: Well, maybe. I don't care, I'm happy with it. :)

THE DJ: I think perhaps you simply have a psychological dependency upon being different.

SwankiVY2: So . . . you're basically saying I'm so intent on being a weirdo that I decided to not screw anyone.

SwankiVY2: Here's my take on that: I'm unusual in a lot of ways, and I've been called eccentric, but if there's one thing I don't do, it's mold my behavior somehow because of what everyone else does.

SwankiVY2: To be LIKE them or to be UNLIKE them. I pretty much do what I feel like doing. Same goes for how I dress.

SwankiVY2: If I like something that is in style, I'm not going to stop wearing it because I'm afraid I'll be interpreted as trendy . . . but I'm not wearing it because it's trendy.

SwankiVY2: You'll just hafta take my word for it on that one. :)

THE DJ: we all build walls of security.

SwankiVY2: Sure . . . maybe . . . but you can't assign my nonsexuality to be really a psychological condition when you don't even know me. . . .

THE DJ: are you telling me that you have never even had a sexual urge?

SwankiVY2: I'm telling you that I have no inclination towards sex, that I never get "turned on" as they say.

THE DJ: HAve you ever had sex?

SwankiVY2: No (and it ain't for lack of volunteers either), but I HAVE had boyfriends who came close to it and I didn't enjoy anything up to that point.

SwankiVY2: As I've heard it, women generally enjoy foreplay more than "the deed" and I did not enjoy any foreplay, so I'm kinda thinkin' it just doesn't do it for me

THE DJ: hmmmm......

THE DJ: I am sorry.

THE DJ: Despite your contentment to the contrary...

THE DJ: Humans are sexual creatures...primarilly designed to reproduce. Our sole function to propogate...

THE DJ: We only live to keep living.

THE DJ: human mating rituals deeply engrain themselves into the very psyche of individuals.

SwankiVY2: ::sigh:: Please don't give me that . . . just because it is true we need sex to stay alive as a species does NOT prove that my biology is working properly, nor does it mean that every single human being needs to be sexual in order for our species to succeed.

SwankiVY2: And I can't say that people haven't tried to get me into their mating rituals. I see that sex makes the entire world go around and that the institution of male-female couples is recognized everywhere.

SwankiVY2: I know I'm the oddball and I'm not trying to say that nonsexuality is the way to go. I only expect that you let me decide what I actually feel despite what you think is "the nature of humanity."

THE DJ: This is also true... but you are missing my point. I am simply stating that missing out on this unique and rather essential experience is rather tragic, and that

SwankiVY2: I don't think it's "tragic," I am quite happy and also not incapable of plenty of other human relationships that exclude sex.

SwankiVY2: It's not like I'm lonely or longing for something to complete my life.

THE DJ: because you do not understand the fulfillment sexuality and sexual freedom can bring to your life.

SwankiVY2: The fact that the majority behaves a certain way does not necessarily mean that it is the way for all people.

THE DJ: True.


SwankiVY2: I don't care to understand sexual fulfillment; I think it would probably have trouble existing with me considering I don't have the hormones that go with it, apparently.

THE DJ: Perhasp I have been out of line.

SwankiVY2: Or at least, not the lust, or whatever.

SwankiVY2: Psst . . . I *have* had boyfriends . . . I *have* tried that way of life . . . so far I haven't met someone who rings my bell. . . .

SwankiVY2: Psst . . . I'm also not opposed to it in the future, I haven't made an all-encompassing future decree of celibacy. . . .

SwankiVY2: Psst . . . just not interested now . . . Psst . . . said a lot of this before ::grin::

SwankiVY2: Lotsa people are SO interested in this :)

THE DJ: hehe... Perhaps becuae they don't understand it.

THE DJ: because

SwankiVY2: Know what? I think most of the planet is missing out on a kind of fulfillment *I* understand very well

THE DJ: you are sone step closer to God.

THE DJ: one

SwankiVY2: Huh? What's God got to do with it?

SwankiVY2: Hmm . . . ever known what it feels like to finish a novel?

THE DJ: Actually no. I am a poet...Prose is a skill I have never fully mastered.... However I am published.

SwankiVY2: What did you mean about the God thing?

THE DJ: Your self fulfillment form "nonsexuality" evoked images of roman catholic clergy, and the zeal for God transcending earthly impulses like lust.

SwankiVY2: I don't get some kind of fulfillment from being nonsexual, I'm just happy without being attached to anyone. . . .

SwankiVY2: I do love myself, which is more than I can say for a lot of people who are scrambling for a mate to love them since they can't love themselves

SwankiVY2: (which is doomed to failure in many cases because someone can't love you FOR you in place of loving yourself)

SwankiVY2: But this whole thing has nothin' to do with God either. . . .

THE DJ: I think It may.

SwankiVY2: Heh . . . I don't really feel like I'm "transcending" anything, since for me it doesn't seem like it's even THERE. . . .

THE DJ: This is true. At that point the parallel dies.

SwankiVY2: My life is quite fulfilling . . . if I ever wanna share it with someone in "that" way I'm sure it'll be great. . . .

SwankiVY2: Heh.

SwankiVY2: I'm hungry. :(

THE DJ: Don't turn your nose up at me!

SwankiVY2: What're you talking about?

THE DJ: the heh!

SwankiVY2: Um . . . you've misinterpreted me, I'm afraid.

SwankiVY2: Happens all the time . . . oh well

THE DJ: Listen to me on the radio, and perhaps you will feel the urg to call me someday on the air. the numbe ris [number deleted]

THE DJ: urge

SwankiVY2: I don't like to listen to the radio

THE DJ: You will like to listen to me.

THE DJ: I promise

SwankiVY2: So you say, without knowing my taste

THE DJ: I am actually more attune to you than you know.

SwankiVY2: So you say, without proof. . . .

THE DJ: I have no means of proving it....

SwankiVY2: I can't really hand you one of my novels and say "trust me, you'll love it" just 'cause I do . . . you can't really do the same for your work either unless we know each other

THE DJ: The mortar in your words is drying, and you've almost built me out.

SwankiVY2: What is it about your radio thing that you're sure I'll like? If you tell me about it and it sounds good, I might give it a shot..

SwankiVY2: But I don't take things on faith, my time lately is far too precious.

THE DJ: just a few more bricks should do it.....

THE DJ: Aaaaah yes. Your time.

THE DJ: a COMMODITY given to you.... ONLY to borrow.

SwankiVY2: Just so you know, also . . . nothing I say is meant to come out nasty, at least not usually . . . it's just that when you use precise vocabulary sometimes you come across as snotty, I'm seen that way too often

THE DJ: Perhaps it is best spent.... giving it away.

SwankiVY2: ::sigh:: It's just that I've been in college every single semester for the last three years. I *never* get time to myself without people trying to grab my time.

SwankiVY2: I haven't written a word of my novel in almost a month and that is seriously distressing.

SwankiVY2: Because I have spent so much time either working on schoolwork or giving my time to others . . . if I'm to keep doing it I need a damn good reason. . . .

THE DJ: I will allow you to get back to it.....................

SwankiVY2: Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about taking it now . . . I'm being productive as we speak, working on my website. . . .

SwankiVY2: You have my attention, if you want to talk to me; I would have turned off my IMs if I couldn't spare it right now..

SwankiVY2: However, doing things like listening to music is quite difficult for me, as I would have to sit and do nothing else . . . sounds are too distracting to me to be able to split my time.

SwankiVY2: (For instance, I'm unable to read and listen to the radio at the same time; my brain doesn't work that way.)

THE DJ: hmmm... well 87% of the time an average person is listening to the radio he/she is engaged in some other activity.... if you are unable to do this, then you probably should not tune in... It would render you far less productive.

SwankiVY2: You're right, which is why I probably wouldn't tune in. I was asking if there is some specific reason you think I'd like it . . . all I know is that it's the radio and I generally hate what they play these days.

THE DJ: Please disregard my invitation, and confidence in your approval of the medium. alas, however, I must be off. It has been lovely meeting you.

SwankiVY2: Okee dokee . . . have fun, I'm gonna get some food now.

THE DJ: Goodnight.

SwankiVY2: 'Night!

Comment on this loser!

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Comments from others:

Mikey: This person "The DJ" sounds more like a desperate LOSER until the end when he finally figured out he was in for another lonely night with his lube and finger. What a dope.

Saz: i don't think he was a jerk really... maybe a bit full of himself, but he did try to have an intellectual conversation at least. I think he was interested in the idea of nonsexuality, but just couldn't comprehend it. Which is fine, in a way, as it is not something that one generally comes across and can easily understand. At least he tried to understand. well he certainly wasn't a creep like some of those cyber weirdos!

that's my opinion anyway :)

good luck with your story... i love to read, but i don't feel that i can create anything original and detailed. It takes perseverence and patience - which i don't have much of im afraid!

CE: He was nice, if a little weird toward the end. I wouldn't call him a jerk.

Ashley: I still don't see why or how sexuals can't comprehend the basic nature of asexuals; it's not rocket science, we just don't have a sexual attraction to people, therefore, we don't/won't enjoy engaging in sexual intercourse. It's that simple.

[All Conversations With Assholes]