Larry: are you in gainesville?

SwankiVY2: Yes I am

Larry: how are you?

Larry: so am I

SwankiVY2: I'm doing all right, and congratulations.

Larry: LOL

Larry: what are you up to tonight?

SwankiVY2: I was just answering an e-mail from the UCB people ::grin::

Larry: what is UCB?

SwankiVY2: Upright Citizens Brigade, have you seen their show?

Larry: no

SwankiVY2: Well, I'm exchanging e-mails with them.

Larry: who are they?

SwankiVY2: They pose as a secret undercover organization, but they are a comedy troupe with a show on Comedy Central.

Larry: oh that is cool

SwankiVY2: They say it's the other way around, though.

SwankiVY2: (that they are actually a secret organization but they pose as a comedy troupe)

Larry: LOL

Larry: so, how old are you?

SwankiVY2: I'm twenty-two.

Larry: so am I

Larry: did you go out tonight?

SwankiVY2: Go out where?

Larry: anywhere.. did you?

SwankiVY2: I left my house, yes.

SwankiVY2: Why are you asking me such a strange question?

Larry: just making conversation

Larry: I'm sorry

SwankiVY2: I guess . . . but why did you want to know if I left my house today?

SwankiVY2: People ask me that a *lot*. I've always wondered why.

Larry: just asking

SwankiVY2: I get a lot of "did you go out tonight?" I wonder what people's obsession is with me leaving my house?

SwankiVY2: Maybe you can help clear that up?

Larry: are you ok?

SwankiVY2: I'm fine.

SwankiVY2: Did you . . . "go out"?

Larry: what do you look like?

Larry: nope

SwankiVY2: That's another common question--I can try to describe myself.

Larry: ok

SwankiVY2: I'm a four feet eleven inches tall, and I weigh about one hundred and ten pounds. I have three-foot-long blonde hair and blue eyes, and I vaguely resemble a pixie.

Larry: what is a pixie?

SwankiVY2: A fairy, a mystical creature.

SwankiVY2: One of my friends likes to call me "Sprite."

SwankiVY2: You may call me Ivy.

SwankiVY2: Is your name Larry?

Larry: yes

SwankiVY2: Ahh, then may I call you Larry?

Larry: why are you trying to be something your not?

SwankiVY2: Excuse me?

SwankiVY2: Trying to be something I'm not? What do you think I'm trying to be that I am not?

Larry: your trying to act so wise, and proper

Larry: I can tell your so full of crap

SwankiVY2: I'm not trying to act wise. I'm not trying to act proper. This is the way I talk.

Larry: sure it is

SwankiVY2: I'm a writer, I construct my sentences artistically.

Larry: grow up

SwankiVY2: And if you don't like it and think it makes me look like I am "full of crap," then you do not have to talk to me.

Larry: I am a writer also.. my father owned a million dollar PR firm... I have been constructing sentences since i was five

Larry: and I don't speak like my head is up my butt

SwankiVY2: I don't believe I would be able to type if I had attained that exceedingly strange position.

SwankiVY2: You and I are different people. . . .

SwankiVY2: You may be a writer also, but I offer my hobby as a reason that I communicate in this way online. . . .

Larry: it sound like you have no life.... let me guess you spend about three- four hours a day with your face in a book

SwankiVY2: Actually, I don't read very much.

SwankiVY2: If you want to know the truth. . . .

Larry: I'm sure

SwankiVY2: I think that you are the one who's "full of crap," because you are judging me on *how I construct my sentences* and thinking you know how my life is.

SwankiVY2: You don't know anything about me, because you have not asked me anything about myself except my looks.

Larry: not judging.. I am just tired and fed up with people trying to portray some front

SwankiVY2: I'm not giving you a front. How do you know this is not how I am if you do not know me?

Larry: trying to be so hard to be "something"

SwankiVY2: I'm not trying to be anything I'm not.

Larry: if you were not putting a front then you would relax and speak like a human

SwankiVY2: I can see it's not worth it to have this conversation with you--you think you know how I should speak and since I am not conforming to that standard you think I'm pretending to be something I'm not.

SwankiVY2: I don't intend to waste my time talking to someone who makes premature assumptions and just falsely accuses me . . . I have better things to do.

Larry: i will leave you with two quotes

SwankiVY2: goodnight.

[In case you can't tell, I cut off my IMs to this guy before he could give me these two quotes. A bit appalling how he just blew up at me, huh? I still don't get what he thought I was trying to be. Damn, sure figured me out. . . . :P]

Kayla: Whenever I use 'long' or 'smart' words such as procrastinating, quintessential, epitome, idiosyncrasy or narcissistic people tell me that I sound patronising and conceited, lol!

Yeah, I'm 15 years old and I use 'big' words. And yes, I also use grammar and I hate text language. It doesn't mean I have a beard and preach to people in condescending voices. Society is so idiotic with the English language.

Jane: It is so awesome that you cutoff this huge JERK before he could give his two stupid quotes! I love how he thinks he is a genius for learning to write at age five, that his father's position says anything about his abilities and that he finds the words I learned in elementary school as fancy.

Isaac Blouin: I have yet to experience this sort of intriguing response to my use of proper grammar and spelling on the internet, but it sure looks interesting... P.S. Maybe you should have let him send his two quotes--they may have been interesting (in a dumb sort of way...).

Cianna: I love it when asshats like him are unable to get the last word.