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I thought only unattractive people hated sex!Pt.2


So anyway. Come to recently. I was up at the register talking to some of my co-workers. Neil was among them. My manager Chris was discussing a stupid BAM policy, and said something like "Oh, it's just because Books-A-Million is gay." Neil replied with, "Well, you work at Books-A-Million. Does that make you gay?"

I told them that I'd taken's "Gay Test" and that it had said I was like 63% gay or something. Then I added that of course it had been judging me as a heterosexual female, and my only other choice was homosexual female. There was no bisexual or nonsexual option. From there I got some questions, which was odd because at different times over our working together all of the people present had heard some version of this story before, in individual discussions. (I'd told Ariel when we were discussing the cuteness of Orlando Bloom, and I'd told Chris when he was discussing with me the repercussions of having sex with someone he didn't really even like.)

So Neil asked if he could ask me a few things that he'd declined to ask before "out of politeness." I told him to go ahead and he asked if I'd ever been attracted to a girl. I told him I'd been attracted to girls the same as boys (not at all), but mentioned that I had actually kissed both. He seemed surprised and asked "Was the girl at least attractive?" I said she was pretty I guess, but we got customers and had to go back to our work.

Later on, I went back up there and Neil asked me something, and it sparked me to explain to him that it was pretty much like I'd never grown up, like I had never changed from when I was a kid with no interest; nothing ever happened. I told him that if people hadn't told me I was supposed to like boys, I wouldn't have noticed. His reply?

"I've heard of that happening. But I thought it only happened to unattractive people."

I told him I'd have to hit him if I didn't go away now, so I left him alone for a while and when I later had to go up there he scrambled to defend his position:

"It's like, if you grow up with cannibals, you're a cannibal, right? You don't have any problem with eating other humans, it's just in the environment. Same thing with sex, if you're attractive there'd be plenty offers of sex around, so how could you not get into it?"


I tried to explain that interest in sex is triggered by internal inclination; it's not some entirely peer-pressure-related thing, and that I doubted all the unattractive people in the world are sitting around oblivious to sex just because they don't get as many (or any) offers.

So he asked me if I get enough exercise.

That was his theory: I'm too sedentary, therefore my hormones never kicked in.

Well, I played tennis in high school, and rode my bike all through college, and these past few months I've been addicted to DDR...I think I'm fairly active, or at least not sedentary enough to screw with my hormones. For God's sake, Joe told me his sister, who's been in a wheelchair since she was seven, still likes guys.

"Well," he said, "I was thinking that might contribute to it. That's why I invited you to work out with me that time."

Oh my god.

Yup, let's get Julie in the gym and make her sweat. In no time her hormones will kick in, she'll look at me, and she'll pounce, screaming, "Oh yes, do me Neil! I want you so bad!"

And if it doesn't work, at least I'll get to see her in sexy exercise clothes.

I'm gonna barf.


That ASSHOLE!!!!!!! Let me at him!!!!!!!!! [Meggie]

OMG - what a dork! OO; Toraneko

I'm smiling again! What a complete jackass! I'd quote Commander Root (Artemis Fowl) in this situation. [Quote]...I may be forced to ram that blue rinse straight into that morass you call a brain.[/quote] [katqueen]

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