Open Diary Entries

June, week 3


Saturday, June 12, 2004

I cleaned the Kids' section and put stickers on stickerless books.  Exciting life I lead, eh?  Ally took me home again and I let her borrow my DDR song CD.  Despite not doing anything interesting, I was very productive today: E2, mail, stupids, reading, cliques, put up articles on Wicked and Avenue Q (you can read them if you want), and an article on Halloween songs.  Eventually I got to talk to my good friend Jeremy, who was buying cat litter at Wal-Mart.  He was unaware that I could sing (which is odd considering he's known me since 1997), and so I sang for him on the phone.  I sang that song from Brigadoon that I'd had stuck in my head earlier that day.  He was impressed.  Understandably, since I do rule and everything.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Had to clean Kids' more than once today because of jackassery on the part of customers.  I passed my friend Sarah on my bike and she honked at me, then randomly came over my house to ask if I wanted to get together.  (I had left a message on her machine the other day.)  I decided it'd be cool if she came over and watched an Ellen video with some kettle corn, even though I had been about to do dancing.  So we did that and then she left to pick up her husband.  I played DDR and bathed, then called Fred, doing dishes and cleaning while talking.  I'm gonna see him soon.  That is yay.

Monday, June 14, 2004

The new guy in the café seems nice.  Billy, he asks us to call him.  I made him a nametag that says "William" anyway.  I drank coffee and ate two cookies.  I put out kids' stuff and that's it.  Strangely enough when I got online to do E2 good old Bunky IMed me.  It'd been forever.  We caught up a little and that was nice.  Jeaux e-mailed and said he liked Bad Fairy's chapter 3, so I sent him chapter 4.  Mike came over and we walked to the store and he told me about his exciting weekend at DreamCon.  We made cardamom-flavored waffles, which are kinda tart-tasting.  They were quite good actually. 

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

I didn't get to finish the crap I was doing at work because they wanted me to count Hello Kitty products for a replenishment sheet.  What?  You want to send me more?  Well, shove this up your butt: I should just write "FOUR AND A HALF ASSLOADS, YOU BUTT CHICKENS!" on this count sheet, and tell them I don't NEED any frickin' more, so what does it matter what quantity I have??  Grr. 

I freaked out when I got home 'cause I had too much to do.  I got on to do E2 and weirdly the only IM I got was this:

 BrnttRedNeck:  hey
 SwankiVY2:  Hello.
 BrnttRedNeck:  i got ur sn off of ur alt code website!
 SwankiVY2:  That's cool.
 BrnttRedNeck:  im not asking for Cyber sex im a gurl
 BrnttRedNeck:  lol
 BrnttRedNeck:  just wanted to chat
 SwankiVY2:  I wasn't expecting that you would ask for cybersex. . . .
 BrnttRedNeck:  u seem really kool
 BrnttRedNeck:  ok
 BrnttRedNeck:  well ur website is full of that tops
 BrnttRedNeck:  topic*
 BrnttRedNeck:  lol
 SwankiVY2:  Um . . . well I have one  page about it
 BrnttRedNeck:  ok well be a bitvh then
 BrnttRedNeck:  bitch*
 SwankiVY2:  Believe me, I don't automatically think everyone who IMs me is a cyber jerk.  Um, and apparently you think I'm being a bitch.  I'd hate to see how you act when I actually do get hostile.

She didn't write back.  I guess I was succinct, but please.  I wasn't being a bitch.  It does bug me, however, that people seem to think they have to warn me that they're not cyberfreak losers or else I will automatically begin cutting them down for digitally groping my panties.  I treat you how you ask to be treated, guys.

I did DDR, E2, and edited Jeaux's new story "Extermination."  It's not done.  And it needed a lot of work.  But hopefully he'll come through.  Then I ate corn and made a CD of all songs about the moon.  It's for Jeremy because his birthday is coming and he writes books about people from the moon.  Oh, and I e-mailed Ronni and told her about how I found an old letter of hers in my keepsake boxes!  After that I made crackers.  They're good!  Yummy even.  Some dude knocked at my door at 2 AM asking me to borrow a can opener.  When he came to return it he asked me what I was doing up.  I simplified matters and told him I was writing, and he goes, "Oh, I could never write, I smoke too much."  I told him that helps some people!  He asked if I smoke and I told him no friggin' way, dammit.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Cliff picked me up when I was standing at the bus stop.  And we got stuck behind the bus.  How pointless.

I did nothing at work.  Nice to be my own boss.  I fixed kids' stuff and did category maintenance, and sat at the computer a long time making the suggestions to Home Office.  I'm so cool.

Jeaux randomly got tricked by some guy into giving him money and a bicycle.  There is a point at which kindness turns to being taken advantage of.  He was begging me to hit him for being dumb.  Boy, he's dumb.

I sent Jeremy his present and we went to Dan's for more bad anime.  We then ate at the Copper Monkey and ventured to karaoke at Alley Katz.  It was the first time we'd been there for that, since they screwed us over on bowling two other times.  But the karaoke was good--they have a good selection of songs but not many that I can sing.  I ended up doing "Thank U" by Alanis, "Cornflake Girl" by Tori Amos, and then finally "You Oughta Know" by Alanis--that's always a hit the way I sing it (the other two were kinda flops).  An amusing moment of the evening involved two very large white women getting on the stage and singing Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back."  You gotta have balls.  In other news that place has the ENTIRE Rocky Horror karaoke album and some other good show tunes.  I gotta go with my friends who sing.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

No work!  Yay bliss!  I fed Jeaux some food at my place because we didn't want to go out.  We were looking for food to consume and managed to find some freezer-burned instant pancakes.  I tried to feed him cereal but the package I pulled out said "Best by November 2002."  Scary.  We ate the pancakes and had some fake bacon too, and I had a little side of egg whites while he had some less old cereal with soy milk.  Then we watched some of his Zim DVD and then I kicked him out.

Phil came over.  He was a little late but I didn't mind 'cause I was doin' stuff.  We chatted while I did E2, and then we went bikini shopping.  I found one I liked that seems comfortable and doesn't make me look like a giant ho.  But it does make my ass look slightly lumpy.  But actually that is not the fault of the bathing suit.  You know how people say "does this make me look fat?"  "No, honey, it doesn't.  Your fat makes you look fat."  You know what I mean.  I have a lumpy ass.

We went to Mother Earth, the health food store, and though they did not have what I wanted (elder flowers, dammit!), we found some rye flour and some licorice sticks (you know, the actual wood kind you suck on, not the candy).  Yum!  We got groceries too, and Phil footed some of my bill because it was big and he for some strange reason enjoys providing for me.  I got a little mint plant for one of my recipes too.  He made a dirty joke about me choking on my stick.

We went out for sushi after we unpacked our food.  We were both hungry like hungry jack hungry.  Phil ate a phenomenal amount of sushi.  I was disappointed because the tamago sushi they had only came with crab meat in it!  And their ginger dressing sucked mad goat ass.  But I liked the veggie roll and the eggplant roll and the mushroom roll.  I coughed on a piece of sushi because the seaweed wrapper thingie tried to go down my throat before I was ready, and Phil made another dirty joke about me trying to swallow.  Of course, he said I was setting myself up for him to make it sound dirty.  Sure, you dirty-minded fool . . . wash that brain!

We went out to play pool, where I sucked abysmally despite Phil's insistence that "you're gettin' GOOD, baby, one day you'll be a shark!"  I don't consider getting royally pounded six times "getting good."  Especially since getting the cue ball in the pocket does not mark you as stripes or solids.  After the pool game I attempted to make a basket at the free basketball shooty thing.  I had to try like fifty times to get it in once; the basket was really far away and I'm friggin' tiny and, you know, not possessing of great upper body strength.  But I made it a couple times out of, you know, a hundred.  I got sore the next day and didn't connect it until later.

I walked on Phil's back and we watched the amusing bits of the Tonys and then Mike's loaned Tori DVD.  I wish I was a performer.

Oh, and two people today thought I had my face pierced because I had silver stickers below my eyes.  Who gets their eye pierced?

Friday, June 18, 2004

I made us cheddar biscuits for breakfast, and we ate them with spinach artichoke dip that Phil had brought over.  Then he left because he had to go to work.  I spent a good portion of the day with my head up my ass feeling guilty for not doing anything, though I did get a nice necessary rewrite of Bad Fairy into my schedule.  I made some sun cookies, but they looked disturbingly like tiny hamburgers, and tasted like the devil's armpit.


They really do look like hamburgers, don't they?

 Check out the next entry for more weirdness and foolitude.


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