Open Diary Entries

Spider Bath


Today at my job my manager tried to get me to . . . well, work! The nerve!

I had just clocked in from my break and I was talking to Beth about books we liked. (Odd, I know, in a bookstore: People who like books.) She is one of those people who will say six things in a row and go on to the next subject before you've said anything you wanted to say, so I was left nodding for a while, and my new manager Phil was sitting in the office talking to Nicole (another manager). Finally I guess he got sick of hearing her voice because he yelled out to us, "Hey, are we on the clock?"

I just answered that I was, and Beth said she was still on break. So he's like "Do you have kids' stuff to put out?" and I told him that was what I'd been doing, and he said, "Well, could ya would ya?" with a little hand motion like, "bad employee!" Ooh, oooopsie!!! I guess I gave him a dirty look because then he said, "I hate people who just stand around." I replied, "Yeah, I hate people too." I went and took my book that I'd been reading, and as I was walking out I added, "I don't take smoke breaks, so I take a chat break once in a while, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK?" He kind of did the "yeah yeah yeah" thing. Come on now, he gets a chat break when he smokes, so what the hell is wrong with me doing it without inhaling carcinogens?

So, anyway. I object to my manager trying to tell me to work. What is this, a paying job?

I've got the cutest hair today. Braided pigtails tied in knots. Except they're really wet from my shower, so they're dripping on me. Brrr.

I spilled my crackers at work today. The container doesn't close very well (I knew there was a reason the set was a dollar), so when it fell out of my locker and hit the floor, eleven Wheat Thins fell out and scattered on the floor. The twelfth Wheat Thin was still in the container, so I ate it. I had to throw them away and then since I needed something else to go with my lunch I bought a chocolate muffin in the café.

Laura in the café tried to sell me a discount card. Huh? At first I thought, she's definitely kidding, when she asked, "Do you have our Discount Card?" I kind of chuckled at that, but then I thought, oh no, she's NOT joking, when she started in with the speech to sell one. What the hell? She doesn't recognize me without my apron on?? I was thinking that was ridiculous, because that never happens to me. People always remember me. I'm recognizable. But then I decided she must have been kidding and just not laughing over it, because right after that she asked me for my employee code to get my discount. Whew.

I told her I was buying the muffin because my crackers fell on the floor. She said, "You should have picked them up and ate them! Hey, ten-second rule!"

Okay, usually that's cool. But . . . "Have you seen that back room floor?? For that, I'd say half a millisecond rule, and I missed that." Honestly I should have just broken my rule about not using my powers at work and made them hover, but since I have a policy against doing that I was stuck with dirty Wheat Thins. D'oh.

In other news, some kid came up and asked Beth whether we had any copies of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phonics.

This is dumb for two reasons.

One: Harry Potter 5 isn't out for 19 more days.

Two: Harry Potter 5 is called The Order of the Phoenix, not Phonics. Sounds like someone's not too hooked on those.

Speaking of Beth, we were analyzing our horrid retail store music today and realized one of the songs sounds like she's saying "Wanna go get high," and through the entire song she totally sounds stoned. A song I've never heard on the loop before, I swear, it was talking about this guy being happy he has Jesus in his life. Another song discusses sex rather openly. Why is this shit playing in my store??

I took a shower when I came home today. There was a spider in the tub with me. He's been there a couple days, I've left him alone. Now while I was showering he just didn't move the whole time, just crouched on the inside of the tub. I didn't bother him, he didn't bother me, and we parted company when my shower was over. Why can't more people be like that?


I had a spider in my shower this morning too! ICK! I ended up drownding it with water! They are gross! Anyways I found you on random so n.m.b! byes! \\JeN did I ever tell you [//your my hero]


I'm on my friend's computer and...there are no bitchy pop-ups! What program are they USING on this thing? But what is the catch? The keys skip and stick, so I'm making a lot of spelling mistakes... Sorry about the crackers, hon. I like Wheat Thins so much I wish they would make Wheat Fats already. The name is a major selling point anyway. HP sock-rocker was here [katqueen]

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