Open Diary Entries

Human default mode


I think that when someone doesn't make it their business to educate themselves, there is some sort of HUMAN DEFAULT MODE that they all fall into.  I have witnessed this time and time again and it is just too consistent to be a fluke.


Okay, see I've noticed this pattern.  When I have assholes trying to screw with me online . . . they all say the SAME THINGS, and usually even the SAME WAY.  It's like they're all sharing one very ignorant brain, and I've just realized that it's actually rather amazing how similar their responses are.

Take this for example.  I have a complex and large Web site.  I get a lot of mail about it--most of it positive.  But here and there I get crap guestbook entries, insulting e-mails, maybe annoying clique submissions (as in the case of the last guy who decided to screw with me).  And they all talk alike.  They're not actually citing anything about my site that they don't like; they usually just say "ur site sux u dumb bitch," and interestingly enough most of them also include some kind of put-down about my looks, either calling me fat or ugly or both.  (It's generally a consensus that I am neither of those things, but hey, to each his own.)  It always strikes me as funny that these people find it necessary to extend a message to me only to say that I am ugly or stupid.  Ironically these are usually people who have misspelled at least one word in the sentence.

Random guestbook entries that I've deleted due to lack of constructive comments:

Name:  sjakie
Comments: **** YOU!!!  You are so ugly    , i am serious

Name: Mike Payne
Comments: please save mankind and commit suicide. But i would stick it in your ass

Name: st. nick
Comments: geeze you are so ugly i hope you die

Name: you dad
Comments:   um how come your so ****in ugly?? like havent u ever hear of plastic surgery? boy i wonder wht your kids will look like if you reproduce... thats a very scary though? to have kids youll prob have to work as a penny hooker, pay someone to have sex with u, or let someone rape u!!! to bad eh?? 
Name:  ur mom
Comments: Yes u r sooo ugly u cow how come u r soo mean to me????  im crazy haha haha u better whatch out hahaha

Name:  Doug
Comments:  Who gives a **** about you, really? Making a site all about you and your opinions is incredibly stupid. Talk about waste of space.
Name: Jamie
Comments: Dang, girl! You are U-G-L-Y! And I took a look at those IM should have just cybered with them...I mean its not like you know them! And you're just TOO weird!

You get the idea. 

What I find most ironic about this is that people came to my site looking for crap to do, apparently, and wasted their time writing insulting messages to me . . . and irony upon irony, they tell me *I* am the one with no life.

Boy, it sure would be nice if I could get myself a life, don't you think so guys?  I mean, my life is awfully empty and boring.  All I do is work on four in-progress novels, maintain three Web sites, keep up with housework, handle various freelance editing projects, hang out with friends no less than twice and up to six days of each week, work on different artistic projects, and . . . oh, work a full-time JOB.  (And sleep.  Don't forget sleep.  Which I hardly do.)  I really hope that someday I can get a life, really. 

I wonder why these people look at my Web site or whatever and think, "Oh my God, pathetic!"  I mean, I'm not the one coming home from work or school thinking, "I'm bored, what am I going to do now?  Oh yeah, here's the remote."  It is rarer than a blue moon that I am actually looking for something to keep myself occupied--the only time I find to read is while waiting for the bus and during my lunch break at work, and the only time I find to watch television is if I'm with friends, and the only time I find to sleep is if my brain temporarily leaves me alone or exhaustion tips me over.  I am creative and driven and maybe slightly unbalanced, and I DON'T APPRECIATE THIS GODDAMN IT!!!

I know I shouldn't take it seriously--it's just some jerk who's a lot more pathetic than they're accusing me of being.  I know that, and deep down I'm not actually insulted by it.  But jeez, it really gets under my skin when I make an effort to announce "Hey, I'm here, look at what I did!" and I get responses like "hahaha, ur ugly and GAY!" 

So, that's my rant for the moment.  People who insult what they don't understand SUCK.  Maybe I should take comfort from the fact that they all say the exact same things, and assume it means there's a big default group mind out there to tap into if you don't have your own.  At least that would mean there's only one frigging jackass.  One jackass with many faces.  Ahh . . . if only they didn't have as many modems.


And the people that do know you, know that their comments couldn't be further from the truth. I know I would be much worse off without you. In so many different levels. I know how wonderful you are, and how many people you change everyday. So I know I'd sign the petition to "Keep Swankivy the way she is" And if need, I can talk to anyone that gives you trouble... [xcali]

You know, it's probably the same as*hole leaving all those notes, just signing a different name. If it counts, I don't think you're fat or ugly. [wunderkont]

What is it with telling ugly people to die? [katqueen]

Those people (person) saying those things are the ones that are ugly. [Freder]

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