To start off, let's talk about various weird things that have been going on at work.
First off, my manager Pat is FREAKING OUT these days. Everything pisses her off! She couldn't find a list she was looking for, and was ranting about how if people would just leave shit where she left it, everything would be much better. Already driven to the brink because of her inability to find the list, she flipped when the back door rang and she realized getting the thing open would be difficult since people had decided to stack lots of boxes in front of the receiving door. She started screaming--literally--and kicking the boxes down and cursing and yelling incoherent things, usually interspersed with the word "STUPID!!!" Because it took her more than two and a half seconds to open the door, the delivery guy decided it would be good to ring the bell again, which pretty much drove her up the wall all over again as she started screaming "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Man, I love my work.
After I got off my break, I went to the customer service desk and spotted a suspiciously thick stack of paper, which of course turned out to be the list Pat was looking for. I told my manager Stephen about it so that HE could be the one to approach her; I fear speaking to Pat when she's riled. It's more dangerous than taunting a crazed bull. I don't think he told her I was the one who found it, but I don't really give a rat's ass. Anyway, she calmed down really fast after that and almost became cheerful, and later she said something about how she has to let out the anger or else it builds up and she'll get sick or something, and she said, "At least people have stopped taking it personally." Hehe.
Another day Pat was doing as she usually does, talking to herself to remind herself what she was supposed to be doing, and she came up to the customer service desk chanting, "Okay, I need, I need, I need. . . ." "Mental help?" I supplied. She looked at me. "Mental health?" "No, mental help. You have to finish your sentences, or I'll finish them for you." She stared shaking her head, and I added, "It could have been worse, you could have come up here chanting 'I need, I need,' and I could have said, 'a buttered monkey.'" She walked away shaking her head. I laughed.
Here's more work weirdness: My manager Dusty fell asleep in his car. This is kind of funny because just before he did it, I had mentioned to him the time Neil did that. He was saying he was feeling tired, and also he had bad heartburn, and I suggested that when he left to go to the bank, he get some antacid or whatever. Well, when he left I was in charge, and the café girl started freaking out 'cause she was out of dimes, and I told her I'd tell Dusty when he came back, but he kept not coming back, and then our back door rang (and of course Dusty has the key), and of course it was the impatient bastard delivery man who thinks that if he can't hear us unlocking the door the second he rings the bell, we're just not coming, so we've got his ass calling on the phone saying "Someone open this door!" and so Kyllie went around the building to explain to him that there wasn't anything we could DO about the fact that the door was locked. But on her way around the building . . . well, she spotted Dusty, in his car, motor on and heat running, reclined in the driver's seat, sleeping like a baby. She didn't bother waking him up, she just informed me; she said, "Let him stay asleep out there, I don't like him anyway." But I wasn't going to just let him sleep out there when the café girl needed dimes and I was having to handle stupid shit. So I went out to knock on his car and wake his stupid ass up, and he greeted me all surly, "You can't let me sleep for fifteen minutes??" Excuse me? I'm in the wrong here? There is something fucked up about this company when one of my managers slept periodically at the bank, one of our associates took a four-hour nap in his car, and now Dusty is doing it too and none of them were fired for it. (Well, Damien was fired, but not for sleeping at the bank. Anyway.)
I explained to Dusty that it wasn't fair to just stick me with running the store just because he needed to sleep; yes, it was unfair that he had had to close the night before and then open the 6 AM shift the next morning, but he could at least be in the freaking building. He responded to that by locking himself in the office and sleeping for a little over an hour. Oh yeah, and this is after earlier that morning, he had acted like I was a big slacker because I was doing routine maintenance on the kids' section rather than putting out the boxes of books that I had plenty of time to put out. Iiiiii looooove myyyyyy jobbbbbbb!
I want to write about some really ridiculous things that have been happening with Neil at my job, but that needs its own entry because of the length limit on this thing, so I'll save that for next and go on to happier, sillier things.
Last week I woke up in the middle of the night, buried in pillows, and something hard and kind of heavy was laying across my chest. I was like, what the hell is this? and picked it up, wondering how a length of pipe or something ended up in my bed. Guess what it was? MY OTHER ARM. It had fallen asleep to the point that it had no feeling in it and my body didn't recognize it as a piece of itself, and when I picked up my arm it was like some random dead thing. I spent the next ten minutes or so shaking it back to life. :)
Months ago, Meghan and four-year-old Katelyn visited me. For some reason, Katie likes to peel the googly eyes off of everything in my bathroom. (Don't ask why I like them there; they're decoration.) Anyway, last time she did it, I never found out where all the eyes ended up. News is, I found them. They were inside the mouth of a squeaky frog that was sitting on the back of my toilet. The frog just had a mouthful of eyes. Katie! You're weird!
Ahh yes. And I balanced my checkbook last week. It balanced to the penny and that, beyond all else, is WEIRD.
Notes:
Utter weirdness. There is nothing left to say. [katqueen]