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Apparently when I was not around, my manager Pat (who is Pagan) was complaining about the bad energy in the store and said she wanted to just come in one day and smudge the whole store. Having told my co-workers at another time that she likes to do her gardening in the nude, they were disturbed by this, since they didn't know what "smudge" meant. They didn't ask, but they discussed it among themselves and decided perhaps it was something that Pat would have to do without any clothes on.

They quickly made up a scenario of Pat coming in after everyone had left, peeking around a corner, stripping, and beginning to rub her ass on things. This, in their made-up world, was the smudging.

Jeanette and Mike, who were sorting our new book shipment, were discussing this during my lunch break today. They were like "HEY, let's ask Julie, she'll know," and descended upon me: "What's smudging?"

I explained that smudging involved taking a homemade or prepared bundle of herbs, usually involving sage somewhere in there, and lighting it on fire, then using the smoke (kinda like incense) to purify a room, often especially at thresholds and openings. They began to go to pieces laughing, and Michael explained to me their earlier made-up idea of Pat smudging the store with her ass. He did a cute little imitation of it for me, rubbing his ass all over the stacks of books and boxes in the back room. Apparently this was stolen from our boss Stephen, who had come up with the smudging dance.

So yeah, Pat is going to come in on the new moon (best time for banishing) and smudge the store, but my co-workers have a whole other idea of what she'll be doing.

Incidentally, Michael also made a comment that one day he expects to go in the men's restroom and see Pat standing there at the urinal. (This is a comment on her being masculine. It's only justified because she is kind of a workhorse, very strong, and pretty unladylike in her behaviors.) Michael said that the best part was, he would just walk by and say "Hey Pat"; it wouldn't surprise him at all.

In other news, I described to Michael the Upright Citizens Brigade skit about John Denver and his nutsack lyrics. I did the little nutsack dance and sang "Thank God I'm a nutsack!!!" Michael cracked up and said all he'd have to do is say "nutsack" and he knew he'd get a laugh out of me. Yeah.

Anyway, "Smudge" makes me laugh. My sister Lindsay used to think "smudge" was the funniest word in the galaxy. She even incorporated it into the Basuda Song. (That was a song full of nonsense words or baby talk or words she got from somewhere--I think some of the words in it started because Mom got mad if we cursed, saying "That's MY word!" so Lindsay had to make words that were "HER words.") "Rinner-ronner, rinner-ronner; basuda, basuda, basuda; seffeh-coogah, seffeh-coogah; teeg-toog, teeg-toog; smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge, cring cring cring cring cring; fatucka, fatucka, fatucka!" (The "fatucka" was debatable. I made it up and wanted it incorporated into the Basuda Song. Dammit, "fatucka" sounds funny.)



I've never laughed so hard at a diary entry. Perhaps Pat can smudge my apartment! *grin* [Optimus_prime]

Put a fatucka smile on my faaaace *sings* It is officially my bedtime (no, not really, but hell, I'm ok) --- but I'm getting slightly unhinged. But I really do want to comment on all of these entries. Anyways, highly entertaining entry, as per usual. Does the fun ever stop? I think the whole "once you pop the fun don't stop" thing was referring to you. [katqueen]

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