C. Elise: Kudos!

M'ria: Oh my god, thank you so much! That nonsexuality rant is going to be quoted by me in every single conversation on the subject that I ever have.

Roxie: Hi, I'm an asexual too. Since childhood I've suspected of being a lesbian from everyone to my other to psychiatrists. Not even therapists recognize asexuality, they thought it had more to do with my schizoaffective disorder ( which is a questionable diagnosis in itself).
Also, I remember watching a porn a friend brought over and vomiting from the graphic scenes! It's like watching someone blow their nose on you! Well, I'm 23 now and I've since lost long time friends who just wouldn't stop matching me up with guys (or girls!) The torture was too much and they refused to understand. I'm glad to know someone does. Thanks!

Catriona: Thank you for a well-written and informative piece - apart from a few little details you could have been writing about me. *phew* I'm 36 and it's nice to feel that maybe I am not "broken" but just made the way I am. Cheers for that, as we say round here. I'm still working out what I am (the who seems to be in place), but you have been a helpful little light in my day, if that makes sense :)

WP: Hard to put everything I'd like to say into words. I shall try anyway, and probably end up very circumloquacious. My apologies to your eyes and to the guidelines of good writing.

First off, as a fellow asexual, a great deal of what you say resonates with me. Not so much because I've experienced the same—as a male creature, I haven't had to deal with the same sort of objectivity and unwanted attention inevitably bestowed by disillusioned Lotharios, although I've faced different, possibly analogous, challenges—but more because my response to the world is so similar. To an asexual, the rest of the world seems to be afflicted with an unreasoning, feverish desire bordering on obsession or madness for what amounts largely to inserting slot A into tab B. Perhaps to sexual people, we don't make sense. But to us, sexual people don't make sense. Your rants against their expectations, misinterpretations, and inability to grasp a fairly simple concept—that someone might not care one whit for sex in much the same manner as someone might not care one whit for broccoli—are spot-on. I wish I had your eloquence, your spirit, every time another of my macho male friends asks me if I consider some passing female to be "hot".

Which brings me to another point. It's good to hear someone speak out about this with some red-blooded, take-no-prisoners brashness! Perhaps you were pushed by too many amorous suitors; I've been lucky in that those I have told have been fairly open-minded, and I've never needed to resort to repeated loud affirmations. But it seems to me that too often asexuality is discussed in the very quiet, clinical, almost overly fair-minded sort of way that inevitably casts some doubt on the validity of the whole affair, as if it were nothing more than a theory, an unproven, merely-suggested possibility, a phase of sexually questioning individuals. Pigheadedness is met not with the back of the hand, but with a careful, thorough explanation of the matter, usually in considerable depth, sometimes with several repeats for the slow. Essentially, in response to the naysayers, asexuals never seem to go with the "frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn" approach—to say "I am what I am, I am happy with it, I don't need to explain or justify it, and screw the rest of the world that says I do." I'm glad at least one of us has managed; some people will never get it, and some people will never try, so this sort of treatment is necessary at times.

I'm not big on the whole "asexual community" thing, modelled after the gay community. (Pride seems a rather silly concept; I am not defined absolutely by my sexuality—there's far, far more to me as a person—so why should I band together with others who happen to share the same particular quirk and shout it out to the world? I do think it should be recognized to some degree, to take psychological burden from those who think they are "wrong" or "broken", but beyond that, it seems to be overhyped. Perhaps no surprise, given the cultural emphasis on sex, but I digress.) Nonetheless, I do feel that you communicate a very powerful and necessary message in your writings and rantings—wake up world, sex simply isn't that big a deal, there are people who don't want it, there are people who are perfectly happy without it and place no value on it, there is no need to spend so much time, money, effort, and agony on such a stupid, simple game. Perhaps all asexuals, by their very nature, communicate this message—but you go a step beyond. You're actively projecting it, by means of your approach and tone, raising the issue for those who never were and never could be aware, and beating it into the thick heads of those too stubborn to ever consider the possibility.

Very admirable. I daresay that we'd all be better off if there were more asexuals with voices like yours.

a-love: i dunt cosider myself an asexual person BUT i am indeed a-love man. i have no desire to get marry to anyone. i was unable to love since i was a kid. i am tired of people treating me like a freak because i dunt want to have any relationship with anyone. and i am still a virgin which is simply because i do not believe in screwing around without resposibility but how can i have responsibility without the desire to - love??

does anyone know whats is a-love or does anyone who is an a-love (inability to fall in love with anyone)? i am one.

i respect your asexual orientation. you are just being yourself and no one has the right to interfere with your life!

form a-love

Juusan: Thank you so much for writing this. I've always been afraid of the fact that I haven't been interested in any gender, but now I know I'm not sick or anything like that.

kathleen: damn youv'e got a lot of rants, and just when i thought i'd found someone who feels the same way i do. i'm married and love my old man, i play sex with him once or twice a month just so he won't die. i understand that its important to him, i couldn't care less, it's just another chore like washing the dishes. bless his heart he's normal and loves me so he's not demanding or pushy. i thought i was warped and i may be at least i;m not alone

Just stopping by...: Thank you for writing this piece! It all makes perfect sense now ^_^. I found your page by accident... I was in a sex forum posting my "problem," when your non-sexuality rant came up on google (during a random keyword search of 'potatoes,' j/k). While I've heard the term asexual before, I've never really bothered learning more about it. My earlier research was more on homosexuality; since my lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in the opposite sex led me to believe the possibility of my being a homosexual (yes, #3). The points you made were really, pretty much dead-on with the replies I received from my (aforementioned) post. BTW, if you'd like to see the thread I started, I can send you the direct url... it'd be fairly amusing to juxtapose the replies I got with your top 10 list ^_~. Take care, & 'diftor heh smusma!'