Asexuality Top Ten

#1: "You just got out of a bad relationship."

Here's the most common reaction to my marital status of "single, not looking." Again, it's the idea that being disinterested in sex is so bizarre that I must be psychically scarred from a bad experience. Just ain't so, folks. My last relationship ended before I was out of high school, and while its ending was by no means pleasant, the asexuality thing had been going on back then anyway, so it couldn't have been caused by the breakup. (Actually, the whole asexual thing was part of the reason for the ending of the relationship, but that is another story.)

Most people who lob this one at me are doing so extremely dismissively. It's the only thing they understand--that I just must not be "ready" for my "next" relationship yet. It's something they think they get--they've probably been through a period of "I just hate everyone and I'll never date again!" after a bad relationship. But I find it more than just offensive that people decide for me that my orientation is the result of being hurt. I'm doing so much, so often, to help explain the REALITY of what asexuality is to people. I'm putting a lot into my educational efforts. And yet these people who often hardly know me and certainly haven't done any research on asexuality are so quick to say "whatever, you just got hurt I guess, maybe one day you'll get over it." I don't think it would be wrong of me to be dismissive in return and say "You can't possibly have any idea what you're talking about, and this conversation is over."

Watch me discuss this topic on YouTube