Conversation with Gifter

Categories: Authoritative Condescension * Unwanted Advances

[This guy IMed after reading through my public profile, which included the fact that I am a SubGenius. (I'm actually a card-carrying member. It's an absurdist religion thing.)]

Gifter: Hello.

SwankiVY2: Hi.

Gifter: Happy New Year's!

Gifter: You like to have fun?

SwankiVY2: Of course. Who doesn't?

Gifter: Is your hair really three foot length?

SwankiVY2: Yeah, sure

Gifter: Doesnt that get in the way when someone sleeps in the bed next to you? dont they lay on it?

SwankiVY2: I have a single bed and would under no circumstances allow anyone to lay in it beside me, it's too small.

Gifter: Well maybe in someone else's bed... when your over there house?

SwankiVY2: I don't generally do that sort of thing, if I'm staying at someone's place it's in a guest bed or on the floor, not in their bed. But no, my hair doesn't get in the way. I braid it.

Gifter: Doesn't subgenius mean below genius or not as smart?

SwankiVY2: Absolutely not. It means "master of sub-knowledge." It's a religion.

SwankiVY2: We're really strange people.

Gifter: I bet you are. I like that.

Gifter: So what kind of fun do you like to have at night?

SwankiVY2: Ehh. Maybe you wouldn't if you knew any subgeniuses. :)

Gifter: I like you and your a subgenus

SwankiVY2: I enjoy writing, chatting with my friends, doing art projects, sketching and drawing, singing, making homepages, and having lunch. :)

Gifter: what about fun at night?

SwankiVY2: That IS fun at night. Is there some other fun you're expecting me to say?

Gifter: do you sketch nudes?

Gifter: lunch at night? WILD! your cool!

SwankiVY2: I'm nocturnal.

SwankiVY2: My breakfast is about 6 PM, my lunch around midnight.

Gifter: really? I'm methodist

Gifter: My schedule is like that

SwankiVY2: And I don't sketch nudes. I draw cartoons, mostly, or fantasy sketches.

Gifter: We have alot in common.

Gifter: Want to meet for some fun sometime?

SwankiVY2: I don't think my fun includes you.

Gifter: Why not? Im a nice guy.

SwankiVY2: Not to be rude, but I doubt we have a lot in common.

Gifter: We could meet and find out.

SwankiVY2: How about you tell me what your idea of fun at night is, and I'll tell you why we're different?

Gifter: talk over a nice on one. maybe candlelights

Gifter: I like to do alot of stuff at night.

Gifter: meeting new people is one thing.

SwankiVY2: Candlelights? Sounds like romantic bull to me. Not into it.

Gifter: Listening to TMBG with a nice girl maybe watch a few movies together on a sofa with our shoes off

SwankiVY2: Oh, what's your favorite TMBG song?

Gifter: We can skip the romantic bull

Gifter: My favorite one?

SwankiVY2: Yeah.

SwankiVY2: Or, maybe your favorite album? I'm really into TMBG.

Gifter: I dont know....I like particle man and the one about the rocking chair at the top of the stiars

Gifter: I forget the name of that one

SwankiVY2: I've been to three TMBG concerts.

Gifter: Cool! I've never been to a concert, but I have songs on tape

Gifter: Do you know the name of the song Im talking about>?

SwankiVY2: I have all their albums, either on badly dubbed tape or on CD, depends.

Gifter: ok their is also a line about a spot on the back of a dot

Gifter: it starts out...

Gifter: Im sitting on the curb in an empty parking lot

SwankiVY2: yeah.

Gifter: whats the name?

SwankiVY2: "A self called nowhere"

SwankiVY2: from John Henry

Gifter: YES!!! I love that one1

Gifter: See, we have alot in common....we should meet for dinner sometime.

SwankiVY2: Many people thought John Henry sucked just because it had a new sound. I enjoyed it.

SwankiVY2: Dinner is around 8 in the morning.

Gifter: I meant lunch...

Gifter: haha

SwankiVY2: So how exactly did you find me anyway?

Gifter: I guess we are just star crossed

SwankiVY2: No, you didn't just decide that "swankivy2" was a good name to IM...what were you looking for?

Gifter: Someone fun and interesting... especially someone with long blonde hair

SwankiVY2: Uh, why the hair?

Gifter: I like long blonde hair

SwankiVY2: Interesting thing to look for in a person

Gifter: so...what IS your bra size?

SwankiVY2: It says in my profile.

Gifter: actually I usually look for that ON a person..*chuckle*

Gifter: There isn't a size in your profile

SwankiVY2: Exactly. It says "none of your business." And that's your answer, right there.

Gifter: Why?

SwankiVY2: Well, maybe's not something I'm interested in having the world know, and maybe because if anyone freakin' asks me that, there's a good chance I know they're a pig?

Gifter: oink oink... Im just kidding *chuckle*

Gifter: I didnt really want to know.

SwankiVY2: Well, scuse me, but what am I supposed to think?

SwankiVY2: Weirdo. why'd you ask that?

Gifter: That it was a joke, beautiful

SwankiVY2: Uh huh. Beautiful. Oh, this is turning out just lovely.

Gifter: I was joking. I saw it in your profile earlier

SwankiVY2: I know that.

Gifter: Thats only why I said it....please dont get upset with me

Gifter: Let me make it up to you and buy you lunch?

SwankiVY2: Believe me, I've heard a hell of a lot worse than that without getting upset. And no way. I have food here.

Gifter: You can take a rain check.

SwankiVY2: I don't just up and meet people off the internet, 'specially when they're...ambiguous. I'm not planning on taking a rain check.

SwankiVY2: I don't like the way you're approaching me is all.

Gifter: How did I approach you? Have you had a bad experience with a boyfriend?

SwankiVY2: Oh, gawd. NO.

SwankiVY2: It seems that from the first minute, you were trying to get me to go to dinner, or some meal, with you, or do something with you...and you didn't even know who I was yet.

Gifter: Are you gay? Im sorry if I ask and your just have to make sure nowadays

SwankiVY2: That doesn't offend me, and no. I have no sexual orientation.

Gifter: Sure I know who you are. Just talking to you I know so much about you.

SwankiVY2: I've heard that before too.

Gifter: Just the way you speak to me tells me chapters and chapters about you.

SwankiVY2: yeah. You'd like to think so.

SwankiVY2: If you honestly think a conversation this short can tell you very much about me at all, you must be making a hell of a lot of assumptions about me.

Gifter: It does...your profile and the way you speak... I know almost everything

SwankiVY2: And that does not go over too well with this chick.

Gifter: Ok...stop me when I get wrong...

Gifter: Your an independent thinker

Gifter: You do your own thing and dont care if people find it strange

SwankiVY2: If that was true, you'd probably already have known that I didn't want to talk to anyone who thinks they're suave enough to "figure me out" like some female puzzle.

Gifter: People like you quickly

SwankiVY2: Not necessarily.

SwankiVY2: People misjudge me often.

Gifter: you probably have alot of friends although it may have not always been so

Gifter: they might misjudge you...but your personality is wealthy enough that they usually get to like you anyway

Gifter: Your fun to be around

Gifter: Your playful...maybe even in a juvenile sense

Gifter: you like cartoons, so you probably have toys

SwankiVY2: Sure.

Gifter: girls with toys are cute

SwankiVY2: Oh, gawd.

Gifter: probably stuffed animals litter your room...stuffed animals and/or stickers

Gifter: Oh and pictures of friends

SwankiVY2: No,not big on any of that.

SwankiVY2: I don't have any stuffed animals in my room

SwankiVY2: But i do have some out in the living room

Gifter: you said you like to Im guessing that you hang drawings too

SwankiVY2: They're not drawings so much as just cartoons

Gifter: living room, bedroom....what I was saying is you opwn them

SwankiVY2: Sure

Gifter: I am not THAT far off so far, right?

SwankiVY2: Yet you've said almost nothing about who I am...

SwankiVY2: Before you annoy me too much, just quit trying to analyze me?

Gifter: independent thinker, likable nature isnt who you are?

Gifter: ok...I will stop

SwankiVY2: As you can see I'm not always openly likable.

Gifter: I just think we have alot in common and would only benefit from being close

Gifter: I still like you, lovely. *chuckle*

SwankiVY2: Sucks to be you.

Gifter: Why do you say that?

SwankiVY2: heh

SwankiVY2: 'cuz I am a bitch sometimes

SwankiVY2: And sooner or later I'm bound to pick on your grammar

SwankiVY2: Because bad grammar really bugs me.

Gifter: OCD? cute

SwankiVY2: No. OCD is *not* cute, at ALL...and that does not describe me in the least.

SwankiVY2: It just bugs me that people can graduate high school and still not know which form of "your" to use.

Gifter: well YOUR cute

SwankiVY2: see? :)

Gifter: I see very well

Gifter: Show me the light, beautiful

SwankiVY2: It really scares me. That there are intelligent people out there who never learned the difference between "you're" and "your," or "to," "two," and "too," or "there," "they're," and "their"...

Gifter: How about this.. a little bet... you ask me any qustion you want about The Tick... If I answer it right you go out to lunch with me and you pay

SwankiVY2: I'm not interested.

Gifter: Po

Gifter: *chuckle*

SwankiVY2: I honestly don't care if you can answer a question right about The Tick. Why would I?

Gifter: ok.. forget the question. I'll just pay

SwankiVY2: Ehh. Leave me alone.

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Comments from others:

R: and this guy should write horoscopes or be a dodgy psychic - a bunch of bull that the person thinks: 'that's not me' and bunch of vague general statements that could relate to anyone: 'fun to be around', 'independent thinker', 'playful' etc. yes, he'd make a fine dodgy dealer.

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