Reviewed by: Saskia
I liked the theme and the way you boarded it. You well described both Brady's and Megan's awkwardness as "misfits" in their school environment. Interesting their similarities in spite of their apparent opposing character traits.
I enjoyed the description of the gradually developing friendship, although I think you could have developed the characters' psychology more in depth, in a less stereotyped way, especially Megan, since the story is told from her point of view. Perhaps bringing in thoughts and associations that she would undoubtedly have about Brady but that are not necessarily directly connected to the action might help enrich the "feel" of the story.
Reviewed by: SinOan
An interesting story. Something I've noticed about your writing is that it manages to get me to read it even if it involves perfectly ordinary people and events, and normally I only read a story through if it has something strange or fantastical to keep me interested.
You said that this particular story wasnít autobiographical, and yet I definitely noticed similarities between Megan and yourself. There were plenty of differences as well, but I get the feeling that you did put at least a part of yourself into this character - the fact that she loves to draw, for example, and the fact that she isnít interested in sex or dating at all.
I did have a few problems with this story though. It seemed very heavy on conversation, so much so that it at times read like a play script, with little stage notes occasionally inserted to break up the long stretches of dialogue. Also, a lot of these conversations apparently happen at a High School, and such places are generally crammed full of people and bustle and noise - yet from the story I got the impression that Megan and Brady were the only two people in existence. It seemed at times as if Time itself would stand still just for them to chat to one another. At one point they met at their lockers and had quite a loud and protracted argument with one another, and there was absolutely no mention of anyone else present. At a High School? Around the lockers?
In short, the two main characters felt extremely isolated from the environment they were in, a feeling further emphasised by the fact that they were the only two people in the entire story with any dialogue. And some of the things they said to one another felt a bit artificial and 'scripted' rather than the way two people (school kids in particular) would actually speak.
Reviewed by: Mikey
When I first started reading this I didn't take to it well it was filled with a lot of emotion almost anger but as I continued I could see all to well where it was leading and was quite impressed how it developed, the part that really stands out in my mind was that with the date book the name and the erasing of the question mark it was crafted so precise I could feel like I was their as it happened. I really like where you went with this story the characters as usual took on the life you granted then in you magical words and made it so visual, (awesome). The dialog and internal dialog so well crafted as you always do very well written I would give this a review of 4 and a half stars.
Reviewed by: DaLz J
Here's my opinion...
I Reely enjoyed dat story.. it is sort of like a fairy tale.. its sumthing that just duzznt happen usually.. maybe it did i dunno.. but n e wayz.. it was a gr8 read.. just like da rest of ur poems and stories =) GO TEAM!
Reviewed by: Dan M.
Here's my opinion...
I read this piece and could'nt help but wonder if bits of this has come from the authors own experiences in life.
I did Like the piece, I thought that the bitchiness towards Brady , and the "trying to get to know you" of Brady was a bit drawn out.
I think there could have been a little more than to it than that , it seemed rpetitive.
The ending to me kinda seemd like a two thirds type conclusion. I don't know why , I just expectd a little bit more of what she had pulled from this experience than just the obvious.
The part where they wer at his house, I thought would have been funner if there was more, I dont know maybe akwardness, more catching each other looking at each other, I dont know just a little more to build up to that conversation in the car.
But overall I did like it, and thought it was very good.
I found myself relating to this very much if I had been the girl.
Just like in this story I felt this ame way in junior high which went into high school but by my senior year had completely gone away, the black clothes, the social rebellion etc.
I think ost people can relate to this piece thats whats cool about it. I give you 4 stars, instead of 5 just because I guess I was expecting a alittle expansion into a few areas is al , but great job , a good read!
Reviewed by: Ian
Nice, engaging. The narrator's voice was distinct and authentic, punctuated with pleasantly bitter humor. I liked how you avoided the cliche of having her undergo a transformation due to the introduction of this new character; instead, she stayed true to herself while lowering her shields. Very nice story behind it, that I'm betting many readers will be able to identify with. The only criticism that I can offer is that perhaps some words were out of place, such as "bootie"; this might not fit with her use of more biting words like "tits." In the same strain, Brady's words may have been too sugary when they first met, saying things like "love" and "you wanna talk about it?" But then, maybe Brady tends to come on a bit strong. Again, wonderful story, it was a pleasure to read.
Reviewed by: Fred
Sometimes stories are page-turners--the type where you just keep on reading because you anxiously want to find out what happens next. This story is one of them. Junior high/high school is a fascinating setting or genre because people do a lot of internal and emotional exploring during this time. The thing is, most, probably 99% of it, is hidden. What makes this story exciting is that we see two people start to break down these societal (in the case of Brady) or anti-societal (in the case of Megan) barriers. I can only imagine the relief Brady must feel to be able to talk to Megan. Note that in the story, Brady speaks coherently and intelligently. Sometimes in high school, to be popular, one must hide depth of thought and intelligence, and be rather shallow and well, stupid. Not to mention the hidden agendas, intrigues, and cliques that abound in the "in" teenage society. And I can only imagine the relief Megan feels as Brady shows her his cleaned calendar... the relief that comes from knowing that someone is talking to you for sincere purposes and with respect. Overall, a good story. I would have liked to see more development of the personalities. As I mentioned, in high school, people often play roles to explore and define their true selves, and I would have liked to see a more detailed development of both Megan and Brady. But then again, that is just a sign of the "page turning" nature of this story and my desire to read more I guess, so I suppose that is a good thing! I must finally note that technically, the writing is superb. There are some snappy lines in this piece of writing!
Reviewed by: The Author Herself
"Brady" is a story about values, friendship, misconception, and teenage role-playing. My favorite thing about this story is the fact that the popular boy (Brady) and the unpopular girl (Megan) spend the same amount of time catering to others' wishes. Brady bends to trends and peer pressure, but though Megan rebels against it, she's responding to it just as much, which makes her a prisoner of it as well. (For instance, when Brady got ready for his "date," he tried to look nice; Megan, on the other hand, put extra work into smearing her eyeliner and jumping around to get sweaty just so she could look like she didn't care!) I like this story because it's about opening up and being honest about who you are. The only thing I dislike is that even though the characters are pretty realistic, they are just slightly cookie-cutter. Also, since you can't see into Brady's head (due to Megan's being the protagonist), you don't really know what he's up to and why he's acting the way he does at different times. This is good and bad; knowing what Brady was thinking would have been nice, but it was also cool just not knowing, to see Megan speculating about it. This is a good piece for the high school crowd and maybe beyond.
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