SwankiVY2: Why do you ask? Ya really care that much about what I look like?

TREX: i am a sexy 22 man in gville w pic

SwankiVY2: I couldn't give less of a crap if you're sexy. I don't want to talk to anyone unless they *interest* me, and "ooh lookit me I'm sexy" doesn't do it for me.

TREX: look at my pic then see 4 yourself

SwankiVY2: And you think that after I see your pic I'm gonna do what? Fall all over you and beg for your attention?

SwankiVY2: Sorry bub, I got a brain.

TREX: no then mabey u will lighten up and we can talk

SwankiVY2: Dude, how does your picture make me want to lighten up and talk? I'm just not interested in your picture. If you send it, I won't talk to you anymore. :P

TREX: what r u studying?

SwankiVY2: Elementary education.

TREX: thats what i was studying

SwankiVY2: Was?

TREX: yeah i just work now

SwankiVY2: Dropped out, eh? I was originally music ed. Now I'm just elementary ed.

SwankiVY2: What do you do?

TREX: work 4 the city

SwankiVY2: "the city" huh?

SwankiVY2: Well, I work for AOL. :)

SwankiVY2: But I don't get paid, just free aol

TREX: how do u pay your bills?

SwankiVY2: I stand on street corners.

SwankiVY2: Just kidding.

SwankiVY2: My mom sends me $500 a month, 'cause I'm on her tax report

TREX: must be nice

SwankiVY2: It is. :)

TREX: so wheres your bfriend?

SwankiVY2: So you decided to use that question as a clever way to ask me if I had one?

TREX: clever huh?thanx

SwankiVY2: No, I don't really think it's very clever, truthfully.

TREX: ooh well i try=P

SwankiVY2: Why do you want to know if I have a boyfriend? I doubt you really had much interest in said boyfriend's whereabouts.

TREX: see if u meet or anything like that

SwankiVY2: Meet? what the hell are you talking about now?

TREX: if we like we can meet each other

SwankiVY2: And, pray tell, what does the question of whether I have a boyfriend have to do with that?

SwankiVY2: Unless, of course, your real question is if I am *available*. Now that is a whole other story.

TREX: r u available?

SwankiVY2: *blinks innocently* No, I'm single, not looking, just like my profile says.

TREX: did u just get out of a relayionship

TREX: hello

SwankiVY2: No, I didn't "just get out of a relationship"; what, you think I have to have been hurt to not be looking?

TREX: alot of the time thats what it is

SwankiVY2: Well. Do me a favor. If you're going to talk to me, don't assume anything. I don't want a boyfriend because I dont want one, capisce?

TREX: you know what?

SwankiVY2: Eh?

TREX: u r a fucking bitch witj an attitude problem and u need 2 check yourself nasty bitch u r probably ugly anyhow

SwankiVY2: Guess what? Number one, you're wrong about me being ugly, and number two, I don't have an attitude problem; I just have a problem with freaks who don't want anything but a worthless physical relationship and don't care about anything except what I look like.

TREX: suck my dick see ya=P

SwankiVY2: LOL

SwankiVY2: You wish.

TREX: whatever bitch look at my pic and then talk your shit

SwankiVY2: What, you think I'm going to excuse you for acting like a total asshole just because most women find you attractive??

SwankiVY2: You *really think* that just because you think you're sexy I shouldn't treat you like the jerk you are 'cause I need you for some reason?

TREX: look i am talking to u trying to see if we could possibly hook up and u r giving me all this attitude man just look at the picture and shut the fuck up

TREX: i dont think u need me for shit

SwankiVY2: Dude, I have no desire to look at your picture, first of all, so quit offering it as an excuse for acting like a fool. . . .

TREX: but ill bet u would like to have me 4 something

SwankiVY2: Secondly, I don't want to "hook up," which you would have known if you'd bothered to read my profile.

SwankiVY2: I'm great for chatting. I'm just not interested in having anything to do with your penis.

TREX: mabey u need a lil cock to lighten your ass up

TREX: u couldnt handle9inches

SwankiVY2: LOL . . . what do you think I'd want to have you for? I'm perfectly happy without your idiocy . . . actually, you are annoying me.

SwankiVY2: You really think there's something special about your penis huh?

SwankiVY2: Can't accept that I won't drool over it?

TREX: u would

SwankiVY2: You wish.

TREX: look and see

SwankiVY2: Dude, I would not consent to LET you show me your penis.

SwankiVY2: And considering you have yet to type me a complete sentence and you sound drunk or ignorant or both, I'd assume you're not worthy of me.

SwankiVY2: Now that's not my attitude talking.

TREX: its not a pic of my penus its me w my shirt off in shorts at a bar b q

SwankiVY2: And you *still* think I give a crap about what you look like, eh?

SwankiVY2: Look, dude, the way you look doesn't prove jack. It proves your parents had good genes. Now if you showed me some smarts . . . maybe I'd start to care.

TREX: look have a nice evening ok u stuck up thang

SwankiVY2: Stuck up thang? LOL . . . nah, I just don't respond well to pigheadedness.

SwankiVY2: But thank you, you have a nice evening too.

TREX: lighten up sunshine

SwankiVY2: I am pretty light. :) Ask anyone who's bothered to talk to me about my interests.

[Another day he IMed me back. I believe I have acquired a stalker. This is what he said.]

TREX: u in a better mood 2 day?

SwankiVY2: I'm always in a good mood.

SwankiVY2: Under no circumstances, however, do I deal with foolishness, so if yer gonna shovel any, let me know so I can block my IMs now.

TREX: do u do beed work?

SwankiVY2: Beed work? I don't think "beed" is a word.

TREX: bead sorry

SwankiVY2: why are you asking if I do bead work?

TREX: cause i need some done

SwankiVY2: No, I don't do bead work. Sorry.

TREX: u airbrush t shhirts

SwankiVY2: No, I don't. I make T-shirts sometimes, but not airbrush.

TREX: how do u do them?

SwankiVY2: I make them on my computer.

TREX: r u black or white?

SwankiVY2: Why do you ask?

TREX: cause u write about urban topics

SwankiVY2: Urban topics? What does urban topics have to do with race?

TREX: URBAN USUALLY MEANS BLACK

SwankiVY2: "urban" means "city". Please learn your definitions before you assume things about other peopel.

TREX: THER IS A MAGAZINE OUT CALLED URBAN BEAT AND IT DEALS MAINLY WITH AFRICAN AMERICAN ISSUES AND ALSO OTHER MINORITIES I WAS JUST WONDERING HOW U WOULD KNOW ABOUT MINORITY ISSUES

TREX: AND DID I INSULT U DONT START CALLING NAMES I AM TRYING TO BE NICE

SwankiVY2: I don't write about minority issues.

TREX: so what else do u do???

SwankiVY2: Plenty of things. I draw, make shirts, go to school, hang out with friends, write and read poetry, sing, make music, teach. . . .

TREX: teach what?

SwankiVY2: Anything anyone wants to learn.

TREX: so y r u not looking for a mate?

SwankiVY2: I just don't want one . . . is that all right that it's not one of my goals?

TREX: dont u ever get lonley

TREX: or horny

SwankiVY2: If I get lonely, I have *friends*, man. You don't have to be smooching with someone to stop feeling lonely. And no, I don't get horny.

TREX: u dont get horny well mabey i can teach u a thing or 2

TREX: u dont get horny r u human??

SwankiVY2: Probably not, but that's beside the point.

TREX: ??????

SwankiVY2: I'm not interested in having you "teach" me a thing or two. You're just slobbering over cute people, you think I need to learn that?

TREX: u r not human?????=P

SwankiVY2: Well, apparently not, since people seem to think that getting horny is what defines humanity and not *thinking rationally*.

TREX: oohh come on

SwankiVY2: Come on? How shall I come on?

TREX: so if u think irrationaly u r not human

SwankiVY2: No, it's just that Homo Sapiens is definied as a different species from, say, apes, not because we are less hairy, but because we are capable of complicated thought.

SwankiVY2: Any old animal anywhere on the food chain can get horny. I personally don't, and it's not a "problem" for me. . . .

SwankiVY2: So . . . I don't think I need to take a class with you after all.

TREX: who do u think u are or what r u trying to be?

SwankiVY2: *blink* Scuse me? I'm exactly who I want to be. Are you asking me to define myself by asking me who I think I am?

TREX: do u think bcause u know the exact definition of homo sapien u r bettr than me

SwankiVY2: Where did this become an argument of who is better than anyone else? Did I at any point assert that I was better than you are?

TREX: your tone u think u are so damn smart and u have to correct and call people names who do u think u are

TREX: well personally i think u are a very sad and alone person who needs get off the computer and go do something physical

SwankiVY2: I think I know what I'm talking about, dude. But if you ask me, you're just getting pissed because you realize that I'm right, so you have to attack how I'm telling you I'm right instead of what I'm saying. Who do I think I am? I'm me. That's enough.

SwankiVY2: I'm never alone. :) You make another assumption. And I do plenty of physical things. I listed some of them before for you, if you don't remember.

TREX: no like run box do something let some of that anger out did u have a dysfunctional childhood

SwankiVY2: *chuckle* I'm not angry.

SwankiVY2: And no, my childhood was rather cool . . . but right now I have to go to class. If you want to continue this conversation later and pick up making premature assumptions about me at a later date, by all means IM me. Good afternoon!

[Must say I was surprised he spelled "dysfunctional" right.]

Joan Page: It is so sad how guys treat women in these messages to you. Like they are fast food.

Wolfgang: As a sexual person, using the single letter "U" as a stand-in for the word "you" is *not* a turn on.