To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

I am a huge fan of the Kids WB line up!

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

That's cool, glad to hear it. :D

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

Do you watch the Batman and Superman show a lot?

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

No, actually I've only seen it once...I don't watch a lot of TV. :)

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

Why do you like The WB then. I am getting extremely angry with you now!

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

Don't get angry with me, jeez. You can't get mad at someone for not liking what you like.

I like WB because they are the producers of Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, and Freakazoid, three of my favorite shows. Especially Animaniacs!! That show I got obsessed with a while ago. :) I still love it and I have most of the episodes on tape.

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

Look, If I am not good enough for you then just say so.

If you just have to swear at what I like then you can just take your Pinky and the Brain and say aloha!

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

Look, If I am not good enough for you then just say so.

Huh??

If you just have to swear at what I like then you can just take your Pinky and the Brain and say aloha!

Um, I don't recall every swearing at anyone, for what they like or otherwise. I'm not being mean to you. So why are you mad at me?

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

My dad works at the Pentagon and I will just have to ask him to do away with you my friend...You angered me to the highest point I can take.

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

Hmm, it might be a good idea, if you're angry with me, to explain maybe, uh...WHY??

If you have some sort of problem with me, it would be in both of our best interests to simply talk about it. But I can't even figure out where this went wrong. Is it a crime to not watch the Batman/Superman show? Or is it that I don't watch much TV, yet am a host for a TV area, that gets to you? Your last few emails indicate that you're pretty angry at me for no apparent reason, either that or you're kidding around. And if you're kidding around, remember that I can't hear the tone of your voice, so I can't tell the difference. You made comments about me not thinking you were good enough for me...I have no idea what you meant by that. Then you insult the shows *I* like...and then you threaten me with some kind of thing from the Pentagon? Over what? I think you might wanna clarify this with me since I'm really pretty confused. However, I doubt anybody from the Pentagon is going to come "do away with me" just because his son doesn't like me...so, if you're joking around here, please let *me* know so I can laugh too? Otherwise, let's figure out what the issue is.

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

The joke! Ha! The JOKE? I am insulted by your selfishness. Are you a host on the WB like that Sidney guy is? Or those three guys in the water tower? If you are then I am not as angry anymore. Because it is a joke. I was just messing with your mind. And maybe sometime we could go out together. I am a single one you know.

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

The joke! Ha! The JOKE? I am insulted by your selfishness.

Um, my *selfishness*? If you're gonna accuse me of stuff, you ought to at *least* tell me what's selfish about my behavior.

Are you a host on the WB like that Sidney guy is? Or those three guys in the water tower? If you are then I am not as angry anymore. Because it is a joke.

I don't know about Sidney, but I like Yakko, Wakko, and Dot if that's who you mean by "those three guys in the water tower." But what I'm not getting is why you would be angry over your own joke...?

I was just messing with your mind.

This email sounds a lot more like you've confused yourself, rather than made me confused or "messed with."

And maybe sometime we could go out together. I am a single one you know.

Mmm, sorry. I don't date.

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

Why don't you date? Are you a lesbian?

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

No, lesbians date. They just date other girls. I don't date at all. Because I'm not interested in having a relationship at this time. The reasons, however, are my own business, and I'm not gonna share 'em, so don't ask. :)

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

Will you share them??? Please???? I will share stuff with you if you do. I will share my most intimate secrets with you. I will share with you who killed JFK, and all other goverment secrets. Pretty please. In fact I know you want me. I know you want to date me. So don't hide it from me little miss "I don't date"

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

You're apparently very confused.

I don't want to share anything with you, 'cause I don't feel like typing out a long letter, I don't want you to be part of my personal life, and I'm not interested in your personal secrets or government secrets either. I probably couldn't care much less about government secrets, in fact.

As for wanting you, I'm afraid it isn't a very effective technique to try and convince a girl that she likes you by saying you "know" she does. The fact is, I don't even *know* you, much less "want" you for anything I can think of, except maybe I want you to leave me alone. The "pretty please" comments in your letter, and offers of bribes, indicate that the attraction, if there is any, is on your part. If you look closely, none of my correspondences with you have indicated a similar attraction. So how about we totally leave the subject of whether I will date you (the answer will always be no) and either chat about something else or stop corresponding altogether?

To: KWBF Ivy
From: Paul

Did you like the Pinky and The Brain episode with Brainy Cigarettes when he was singing: "Darn kids, Always trying to get their hands on my ****ing pack of smokes." It was a cool one to me because it made a statement. PS: I got plenty of chicks so don't worry, you didn't hurt my feelings.

To: Paul
From: KWBF Ivy

No, I didn't see that one...I used to watch Pinky and the Brain and Animaniacs a lot more than I do now, 'cause now I'm so busy with college that I can't get up on Saturday mornings anymore. :o

Interesting how, with so many "chicks," you were seeking to accumulate more...

[He stopped there.]