Bus: hi

SwankiVY2: hi

Bus: how r u today?

SwankiVY2: Mmkay

SwankiVY2: Just got back from vacation.

Bus: cool where did you go

SwankiVY2: Las Vegas.

SwankiVY2: Well, Phoenix and then Las Vegas.

Bus: supercool

Bus: asl

SwankiVY2: Umm . . .

SwankiVY2: Where'd you get my name from anyway, if you don't already know some of that?

Bus: directory

SwankiVY2: "Directory." That doesn't give me much information. What were you looking for that you found when you got my profile?

Bus: people in my area y do u ask so many ?'s

SwankiVY2: Because when people ask me such impersonal questions as what my age, sex, and location are, I tend to want to know why they want to know.

SwankiVY2: For instance, if you were looking in the directory for people in your area, you already know the "L" part of a/s/l, right?

SwankiVY2: And also, if you looked at my profile, you probably know my sex.

Bus: to c if i wantto talk to you

Bus: thats correct

SwankiVY2: Then why ask me for information you already have?

SwankiVY2: I guess I just don't get it.

Bus: well i didnt know your sex or your age...right?

SwankiVY2: If you looked at my profile, you would have figured out my sex real fast, I'd imagine.

SwankiVY2: Also, I don't see how you could find me from the directory but then not actually read my directory listing.

SwankiVY2: The answer to the last question, incidentally, is that I am twenty-six.

Bus: 24 (me)

Bus: want to talk....normally....or just give me the third degree?

SwankiVY2: Point one, this is how I "normally" talk.

SwankiVY2: Point two, you started it.

SwankiVY2: (The questioning session, I mean.)

Bus: ok master can we calm down now im wrong u r right

SwankiVY2: Hah. . . .

SwankiVY2: Don't know why you assume I am anything but calm. . . .

SwankiVY2: But if you have something in mind to chat about--you know, a reason why you IMed me--then go for it.

Bus: calm....maybe sarcastic...definately

SwankiVY2: Yes. I tend to be sarcastic if I see fit.

Bus: and it fits often, doesnt it?

SwankiVY2: Not as often as you might think.

SwankiVY2: But you don't know much about me except . . . now . . . my age, sex, and location. And that I just got back from Vegas.

Bus: so how about your name then

SwankiVY2: That's in my profile too.

SwankiVY2: But I can introduce myself personally if you'd rather.

SwankiVY2: My name's Ivy.

Bus: as in poison?

SwankiVY2: Argh.

SwankiVY2: I don't suppose you think you're the first person to say that?

Bus: not in the least

SwankiVY2: Meh.

SwankiVY2: It is kind of aggravating, you understand.

Bus: so....ivy, my name is patrick

SwankiVY2: Do people call you Patrick, or Pat or Rick, or something else?

Bus: diff strokes for diff folks

Bus: so u r in g'ville right?

SwankiVY2: Now that I've returned from vacation, yes I am.

SwankiVY2: I've lived here for about eight years.

Bus: cant imagine being in this town for so long

SwankiVY2: It isn't an easy thing to do.

Bus: only till school is done

SwankiVY2: You start to feel old when you see freshmen and they look "young" to you

SwankiVY2: Then again, I will probably be carded until I'm sixty.

Bus: so....y r u here

SwankiVY2: I went to school here

Bus: it'll make u feel younger

SwankiVY2: And didn't want to leave

SwankiVY2: It was easier to stay and work than move to another town, so I didn't leave.

Bus: what was your major>?

SwankiVY2: Actually I started as a music major

SwankiVY2: and hated it

SwankiVY2: So I finished up with an education degree because it was something I could do and still finish in four years

SwankiVY2: (which was when my scholarship ended)

SwankiVY2: so I did that and picked up a minor in psychology along the way. . . .

SwankiVY2: And now I am an editor and a writer, as well as keeping myself alive with a day job at a bookstore.

Bus: i majored in micro

SwankiVY2: micro . . . biology?

Bus: you type pretty fast

SwankiVY2: Yeah.

Bus: thats right

Bus: im trying

SwankiVY2: A little over a hundred words a minute these days.

Bus: can u tell?

SwankiVY2: Can I tell what?

Bus: that im typing faster

Bus: c

Bus: 2

Bus: fast

SwankiVY2: Not really, but I'm not exactly monitoring you.

Bus: ohh....sorry

Bus: anyways, IVY what do u do for fun?

SwankiVY2: God, a lot of crap.

SwankiVY2: First and foremost, I write

SwankiVY2: I make websites

SwankiVY2: Um. I can draw.

SwankiVY2: I like to bake.

SwankiVY2: I sing karaoke. I play DDR.

SwankiVY2: I like to shop and read.

Bus: drink?

SwankiVY2: I don't believe that was on my list, no.

Bus: ohh...sorry again

SwankiVY2: Heh.

Bus: so u dont drink?

SwankiVY2: Er . . . well, I enjoy drinking large quantities of Diet Coke, but I imagine you are talking about alcohol and in that case the answer is no.

SwankiVY2: Being drunk is not fun for me.

SwankiVY2: And I don't need to do it to have a good time.

Bus: k

SwankiVY2: It's bad for you, expensive, and normally has the express purpose of making you act like an asshole, so I kinda tend to not do it.

Bus: understandable

SwankiVY2: Not to mention that it would take a very small amount to get me drunk beyond reason

Bus: not if u control it within a moderate level

Bus: it can be fun

SwankiVY2: Why do it at all, though, if you can have fun with all your wits about you?

Bus: so, im guessing u dont smoke either?

SwankiVY2: Nah.

SwankiVY2: I don't like cigarettes, and I have nothing against pot or pot-smokers (unless they're bakeheads) but I don't do it either.

Bus: ic

Bus: so, how about sex then?

SwankiVY2: Hahah.

SwankiVY2: You really know how to hit bullseyes, huh?

Bus: so...

SwankiVY2: In order to find out if I am any fun you ask if I like drinking, smoking, and sex.

SwankiVY2: You would probably be rather confused by my views on sex so I won't go there unless you really want me to.

Bus: i figured with your straightedge personality, u were saving yourself

SwankiVY2: "Straightedge"? "Saving" myself? Jeez.

Bus: no offense

SwankiVY2: I just don't find that crap FUN. It's not because I think I'm keeping myself pure.

SwankiVY2: My idea of fun is kind of different from the majority. I'm a very unusual girl.

Bus: with an unusual name

SwankiVY2: Think so?

SwankiVY2: It's not that unusual.

Bus: i like it

SwankiVY2: A lot of old ladies have it.

Bus: pretty unusual

Bus: maybe so

SwankiVY2: I went to school with a girl who spelled it "Ivie."

SwankiVY2: Don't like that.

Bus: i'm making a note

Bus: thats not all i consider fun, by the way i like to hangout with friends, read, watch tv, play video games, pool, basketball, table tennis, talking, listening, .....but yeah i definately like drinking 2

SwankiVY2: I don't necessarily look down on people who consider "drinking" a pastime . . . but sometimes it rubs me the wrong way.

Bus: i dont consider it a pastime, by any means

SwankiVY2: I'm kind of what you'd call intensely creative. I think drinking would sort of take away my motivation and my edge.

Bus: never tried?

SwankiVY2: Not to mention, as I said before, that I would just completely go apeshit on very little.

SwankiVY2: I've been drunk twice. . . . Neither time was an enjoyable experience.

SwankiVY2: once was when I was 15, though.

Bus: maybe u went beyond your limits

SwankiVY2: The other time was in college and my roommate insisted I try something called "cherry fuck." I drank it and it tasted like candy. So I drank three more. Bad idea.

Bus: should have not had so much

SwankiVY2: ::shrug::

Bus: MODERATION is the key

SwankiVY2: I like the taste of wine and sake, but I don't drink them often.

SwankiVY2: I tend to like wine if it's sweet.

SwankiVY2: Sweet wine is what I got drunk on when I was a teenager

SwankiVY2: My parents took a picture of me halfway passed out in my chair.

Bus: i think it just helps you relax, be more open....feel a little goofy...it can be fun

SwankiVY2: Hmm. I'm pretty open anyway though.

Bus: i bet they were happy

SwankiVY2: and I have no problem being relaxed, actually.

SwankiVY2: My parents? Hah. Well, they gave me the wine--they thought it was funny when I couldn't even make it through the rest of the ritual

Bus: oh lol

SwankiVY2: This other girl is sleeping on me in the pic

SwankiVY2: And there's another of me on the couch

SwankiVY2: After that I fell asleep and missed the food

SwankiVY2: Poop.

Bus: superpoopy

SwankiVY2: mmyeah.

Bus: so , lets not talk about drinkin anymore

Bus: so, r u single?

SwankiVY2: Another tough question.

SwankiVY2: I am unmarried, unattached, without a boyfriend.

SwankiVY2: I am also not "in the market," as they say--"looking."

Bus: y not

SwankiVY2: That's all wrapped up in my unconventional views on sex. But let's just say I don't want to be involved, and am happy without companionship.

Bus: a bad experience?

SwankiVY2: Not even.

SwankiVY2: Though a couple of bad experiences have resulted from people trying to change that.

Bus: ic

SwankiVY2: Lots of guys view me as a challenge, which is uncomfortable.

SwankiVY2: One of my best friends considers himself very ugly and also he has a high sex drive. He says he and I are like nature's jokes.

SwankiVY2: "Why would Nature make you look like you and make you not want any, and then make ME look like ME and make me want sex all the time? Nature is CRUEL."

SwankiVY2: (That's what he said.)

Bus: what unconventional views?....as in premarital sex is wrong, and sex is something thats should be shared with someone u love and r going to bew with forever....right?

SwankiVY2: God, no.

SwankiVY2: That's bullshit

SwankiVY2: Hrmm . . . well maybe not bullshit. But that isn't it.

Bus: enlighten me your highness

SwankiVY2: I've never had any interest in sex. I don't like the idea, and I *really* haven't liked the few things I have done that are in that realm. I also don't need companionship that way, like I'm not looking for someone to complete me or some crap.

SwankiVY2: So . . . I'm happy as an unattached person, and have no need for other people that way

Bus: how about sexual gratification......that feeling.....orgasms....they feel good u know

SwankiVY2: Then I'm glad for you . . . I don't have an interest in pursuing them

SwankiVY2: and to be honest I really don't think the world needs more sex, so I'm staying out of this one.

Bus: how about procreation if everyone shared your views, wouldnt we all die....since ....no babies!

Bus: ?

Bus: did u get mad at me?

SwankiVY2: Why do you think it has *anything* to do with everyone else?

SwankiVY2: Did I ever say anywhere that I was against sex for anyone else, or that I thought everyone should stop so that we won't have any more babies?

Bus: sorry sorry jesus christ!

SwankiVY2: ::looking both ways:: Is Jesus involved in this too?

Bus: then how about attraction, arent you attracted to men?

SwankiVY2: No.

SwankiVY2: You're not getting this "absolutely no desire to have sex" thing yet, are ya?

SwankiVY2: Told you it was unconventional.

Bus: not about sex, just an attraction

SwankiVY2: Umm

Bus: ass opposed to women

Bus: as

Bus: emotionally or physically

SwankiVY2: I can tell when someone's pretty or ugly, I have eyes. Aesthetics exist. But there's no other response.

SwankiVY2: Men or women. I can tell a woman is pretty, I can see a guy is handsome. But that doesn't mean my body does anything.

Bus: not even any feeling of wanting, maybe a kiss, a hug, something???

SwankiVY2: Er . . . no.

Bus: no drive whatsoever

SwankiVY2: I don't actually like being touched. I can stand it, sometimes a hug is nice. But mostly I want people to keep their hands to themselves.

Bus: maybe you have a hormonal imbalance

SwankiVY2: Like, the idea of having someone else in my bed, even just to sleep, is, like, gross.

Bus: u should get this checked

Bus: it is not normal

SwankiVY2: I know it's not normal.

SwankiVY2: ::ahem:: (putting on scientist voice)

SwankiVY2: There is a disorder called "Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder."

SwankiVY2: It is a disorder where the subject just does not have a sex drive or has a reduced sex drive.

Bus: a psychiatric can help you

Bus: maybe it has a mental connection

SwankiVY2: However, one of the criteria for it being considered a disorder is that the person "suffering" from it has to be bothered by it.

SwankiVY2: ::ahem:: (coming out of scientist voice)

SwankiVY2: I don't have any problem with being this way. So it's not a problem.

SwankiVY2: BTW, "You have a hormone problem" is #8 on the list of ten most commonly suggested reasons for my disinterest in sex.

Bus: your rationale isnt too solid however

SwankiVY2: Everyone freaks out and tells me it's horrible and I need therapy. Why?

SwankiVY2: Is it really that important that I need to want sex?

SwankiVY2: Incidentally I had it "checked" when I was 18. They said it wasn't a problem if I didn't think it was.

SwankiVY2: My mom made me.

Bus: its not sex though im talkin about everything else too the lack of motivation/want towards the opp9osite sex not neesing or desiring what is normal....companionship, a feeling that u r loved....nothing

SwankiVY2: Well, I am loved, first of all.

SwankiVY2: By a LOT of people.

SwankiVY2: But expecting that I need to be worried about my lack of interest just because it isn't normal . . . well, that's just pointless.

SwankiVY2: Most people like hamburgers too, but should I get therapy because I don't?

Bus: no that is not an important part of life but this on the other hand is primal, instictual, and is a major part of the human psyche

SwankiVY2: Okay, well correct me if I'm wrong but population isn't a problem right now.

Bus: companionship helps one mature, grow, learn, and love

SwankiVY2: It only makes sense that it's no longer necessary that every single member do his/her best to propogate the species.

SwankiVY2: As for companionship, I do have that. With many people, and it's not suddenly worthless or "not companionship" just because it isn't romantic.

SwankiVY2: So what the hell is it about me that everyone wants to step into my life and tell me how to live when *I* am the only person I know who is happy?

Bus: anyways, i dont have anymoretime for this brain numbing debate, its like hitting one's head on a wall...it just doesn't budge

SwankiVY2: Hah.

Bus: even if u r happpy, u can be much hapier if u open up

Bus: instead of blocking it out

SwankiVY2: Just so you know . . . I've had this conversation with about thirty other indistinguishable people and you've brought no new revelations to this topic for me.

SwankiVY2: You assume I'm closed, sheltered, SAD. . . .

SwankiVY2: Just because my way of finding happiness doesn't match the norm.

Bus: whatever

Bus: no more talking

SwankiVY2: Why am I sad just because I *want* to be single?

SwankiVY2: Okay. . . .

[And that was the end of that. Don't you love how this guy has no idea who I am and says "but what about drinking and sex?" when I left them out of my hobbies list, but yet he presumes to be able to tell me I need therapy? I wonder if these folks know their voice comes out coated in shit when they try to speak with their head lodged in their ass?]

tish24: It's funny, I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm 20 and have never felt the slightest interest in boys, girls, dating, sex, etc. I understand the attraction of it - well enough to write convincingly about aspects of it in stories - it's just never meant anything to me.
Then again, I've never been in a situation where I've been expected to justify myself like all these jerks are demanding you do. I think you handle it really well, although they're probably never going to 'get' it.

Ali: I am both amused and exasperated by this "If everyone was like you zomg the population would die and we would like have no babeez and stuff!" argument. People like to throw that out a lot, while ignoring the obvious fact that everyone is not like us, making the argument pointless. An estimated ten to fifteen percent of the population is homosexual, and the amount of asexuals is even smaller, by a lot. Needless to say, I don't think we ever have to worry about the human race dying out.

Wolfgang: You don't like hamburgers? Don't worry, I'm not about to give you some long speech about how you "need hamburgers in your life." On the contrary, I think it's wonderful that you're saving yourself from the guilt of eating another creature. Closer to God, like some modern-day St.Francis. I just ask you to forgive me, and others who eat hamburgers, though it may disgust you. I have to ask, though, did you have food poisoning as a child? Or are you just hiding some repressed love for Haggis?