My friend Chris is rather creative with his words. He IMed me one day and we exchanged these little gems. Enjoy, and beware the bad language.

RangFlashZ: who a bitch?

SwankiVY2: u.

RangFlashZ: ain't sweeter than my lemon turds

SwankiVY2: Well I got a broccoli taffy squirt for your mother.

RangFlashZ: oh yeah? it's like pudding only green eh?

SwankiVY2: Well, not only that, but the vitamin dingaling kinda smells like sulphur, and makes me want to watch He-Man cartoons until granny calls us for supper

RangFlashZ: like a pig done went crazy in a blanket

SwankiVY2: I whizzed on the froggie.

RangFlashZ: damn girl, they spozed to wizz on you.

SwankiVY2: They did, but then I whizzed back

SwankiVY2: And stole all their lamb chops

SwankiVY2: and then went back in time and gave them to hitler

RangFlashZ: shit, all i ever did was stick my big toe in each frog asshole

SwankiVY2: Well that is never going to win you the Pulitzer, assneck.

RangFlashZ: no, but my toe sure is brown

SwankiVY2: good idea. :)