These are some tips for becoming an individual person. Follow all these steps accordingly, and in no time, you'll be just as strange and interesting as the makers of this message! (Created by me and Amy. Yes, typos are intentional, because this is a preserved document from high school.)

1. Buy and accordian and learn how to play.

2. Dye your hair and grow it.

3. Get some Converse.

4. Get some sunglasses (blue, mang).

5. Listen to Weird Al 24 hours a day!

6. Learn the Spam Dance.

7. Play Frisbee in the school halls.

8. Write stories about people who don't exist.

9. Have screaming matches with your friends in which you only yell the word "penis."

10. Worship PIMPY. (tm)

11. Watch Monty Python movies.

12. Collect something really weird.

13. Take on a nickname that is the name of an animal or fruit.

14. Don't be afraid to lay down in dirty places.

15. Stand atop your cafeteria table while you eat.

16. Sound Barbaric YAWPS!

17. Sing Fish Heads until everyone stares at you.

18. Don't be afraid of the word "freak."

19. Be friends with spatulas.

20. Go to school barefoot.

21. I'll dreadlock your hair if you want.

22. Befriend a duck.

23. Name him Bruce.

24. Wear a tacky tie.

25. Tell people to fuck off if they make fun of you.

26. Better yet, tell them to bite a part of your body that you don't have.

27. Wear a Hawaiian shirt (but only on Tuesdays).

28. Adopt a hippie attitude.

29. Lick trees - it really doesn't hurt.

30. Guava ^ Make interesting things out of soap.

31. Give a Hare Krishna some beef jerky.

32. Recite Ren and Stimpy lines shamelessly and in unwelcome situations.

33. Give people spam and argyle sox on their birthdays.

34. Cut the heads off all matches.

35. Hang rubber heads in trees outside of hotels.

36. Write interesting things on the insides of frogs.

37. Get some bowling shoes.

38. Say "mang."

39. Join a band.

40. Watch cartoons no one likes.

41. Wear underwear on the outside of your clothes.

42. Spell "cheese" with no final "e."

43. Pretend you're a lava lamp, and walk around saying "Blurb, blurb!" all day.

44. Talk about shaving cream in erotic ways.

45. Write the word "dorkfish" backwards on your forehead.

46. Eat your shoulder.

47. Force SPAM down your friends' throats at parties.

48. Do interesting things with metal objects.

49. Nail a Ouija board to your bedroom wall.

50. Answer the phone without saying "Hello," but saying instead, "Jabberwocky."

51. Count the holes in Swiss cheese.

52. Plunk your magic twanger.

53. Get kicked out of the library for eating carrots.

54. Jump around like a damn frog.

55. Have lewd conversations with the elderly.

56. Throw donuts at Mrs. Tuggle.

57. Suck on those good-smelling markers until your tongue is rainbow colored.

58. Snort like a pig constantly and shamelessly.

59. Describe everything with the word "funky."

60. Watch X-men and tell the characters what they really shoud be doing.

61. Set preps on fire (with headless matches).

62. Pour syrup in your ear.

63. Come to school with your hands dyed purple, and tell everyone about "the accident."

64. Wear Cat-in-the-Hat hats.

65. Wear Christmas lights.

66. Yell "NIH!!!" whenever possible.

67. Walk on your hands in the main hall.

68. Make voodoo figurines out of earwax.

69. <--Isn't that a great number?

70. Write in Spam-colored ink.

71. Claim to be the chief of a tribe.

72. Quack.

73. Keep live mice in your clothing.

74. Say "Africa."

75. Tell people that the lights are talking to you, but insist that you won't talk back.

76. Draw strange private-joke type things on the board.

77. Wear a dress. Just once. Please?

78. Respond to people's exclusion of you by writing rude things about them on the board.

79. Wear Mickey Mouse ears.

80. Be odd (not even).

81. Find a pretty girl and waltz with her in the hall.

82. Lower grilled-cheese sandwiches into sheeps' asses.

83. Bring a plastic baggy full of pudding to school, and tell everyone it's your pet named "chip chip."

84. Grow flowers out of your ears.

85. Believe in the prophesy of Swordfish.

86. Squelch weasels.

87. The Chicken noises are good; keep those.

88. Get a tattoo of Mrs. Wilson on your BUTT.

89. Grow a goatee.

90. Fart in reverse.

91. Put cheetos on a string, and wear it as a necklace.

92. Better yet, wear an entire cheeto outfit! (Shoes, too!)

93. Watch Sesame Street and eat Campbell's chicken and stars soup whenever you stay home from school.

94. You could also have fun with RuBear and his friends. (It's really cool! There's a flying squirrel on there!)

95. Wear an all-green outfit.

96. Bite cheese ferociously.

97. Hang out in cemetaries.

98. Suck on driftwood as though it were a popsicle.

99. Pierce a nipple or two.

100. Make Frankenstein noises at poor defenseless kitty-cats.

101. Get some sea monkies (monkeys?)

102. Spank them.

103. Call hypocrites "Globberbaums" to their faces whenever they're being hypocritical.

104. Wear strawberry-flavored deodorant.

105. Ride around on the Janitor's golf cart, and talk to the guy.

106. Swallow a snake - whole, of course (so you can have an interesting BM).

107. Incorporate turtle-spleen tossing into your daily exercise routine.

108. Make a practice of dyeing white rabbits magenta with yellow polka dots and glue antlers on their heads.

109. Wear denim sox.

110. Piss on turtles.

111. Bring squeaky plastic alligators to school on Mondays, and rubber chickens on Thursdays.

112. Snort prune juice up your nose, out your ears, through the top of your head, and into Afghanistan.

113. Pick your boogers.

114. Have a hair product's baby.

115. Clear your throat after someone says the word "pine."

116. Poison a pigeon in the park.