1/29/03
Hehe, here's a cute thing. I hung out with a ten-year-old for part of today, because she was fun. I had to watch the register briefly and I had doodled a picture, and she colored it while chatting to me about Beavis and Butt-Head, Harry Potter, and Invader Zim. Then she gave me the picture and it was signed "Stormi." I wasn't positive that was what it said (because her printing wasn't totally clear with the marker), so I asked her if her name was Stormi, and she said it was and that people always try to put a Y on the end instead of an I and that annoyed her. I told her that happened sometimes with my middle name; people want to spell it SANDRA instead of SONDRA. She told me that she wished that her first and middle names could switch places, and I asked her what her middle name was. She said it was Angel, and that she liked it but it wouldn't do for her first name if her middle name was made Stormi. Because, you see, her last name started with S. "And that," she said confidingly, "would make my initials something bad." HAHAH! In other news, Miss Stormi was wearing eye glitter just like I was. We rule.
1/28/03
I dealt with two people who wanted GED books today: two people who were incredibly frustrating. I should probably preface this to say, I have no preconceived notions about people who are taking the GED. Not all of them are doing it because they can't pass high school or are too lazy to do so, and if you just plain find the work too hard it's nothing to be ashamed of--not everyone's good at everything. Some take the GED because they have young children to take care of and can't handle school anymore. Some do it because they must work. Some do it because high school honestly isn't the place for them, like my old friend Dustin who just got sick of being told to do things that didn't further his brain. So I don't automatically think, "Oh, you're buying a GED book; I look down upon you now." That said, let's talk about the asshole people.
The first one was worse. She called on the phone to ask me about GED books, and had the misconception that she was giving me a title when she asked me for "The GED study guide." I informed her that over 50 books are published on the subject and that we carried somewhere between fifteen and twenty of the titles. She was baffled by this and responded by asking me if I knew which one was the one she needed. I got irritated real fast.
So, she explained again that she wanted a GED study guide. I told her they come in many prices, many styles, by many companies, and if she wanted to come in and take a look at our selection of them she could maybe read their specs and figure out which was the one for her. I also helpfully added that some even come with CD-ROMs. This went through her head by way of her ears, and she replied that what she wanted was one with maybe some sample tests in it. I told her they all have at least a couple sample tests, and she clarified that she wanted one that would analyze which type of questions she needed to work on and help her with that. I told her that taking a test and then looking at which ones were wrong would be an easy way to figure out what "type" she needed, and since all the GED books also provide instruction on how to think to answer the questions, it would be no problem at all. Then she said a sentence that felt like a ton of bricks falling on my brain.
"Well, what I'm really looking for is a book that will help me pass the GED."
OH NO REALLY?? GED books don't do THAT. I thought you got GED books because they are of a pleasing consistency to stick up your ass! Not to actually help you PASS or anything. WTF?
So I told her I imagined any book written on passing the GED would probably help her pass the GED. I think she realized at that point that I was getting shirty, so she just asked for a price range (which I quoted her for non-CD-ROM and CD-ROM-bearing books alike), and she hung up. Mercifully.
So then half an hour later when a woman came in asking for GED books, I asked her if I just talked to her. She said no, she didn't call, and I relaxed because I was like, whew, I don't have to deal with a jackass now.
"I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing this right. I need the . . . Standard . . . GED book."
I think someone probably told HER to just get a standard GED book and she thought it was a specific one, but her boyfriend or husband or whoever he was claimed he'd seen it and it wasn't any of the ones on our shelf, so it could exist. I just don't care anymore. Will . . . seeping . . . away. . . .
I had to do the cash register break today, and after I told a guy his total my pigtail got caught on one of the buttons of my apron. He put his money on the counter, and while I was quickly pulling my pigtail out of its snare, the guy put his hand on his money again and slid it a minuscule distance toward me, as if I'd missed it, and then lost no time in gesturing at it with his finger and looking at me, as if I could not see he was ready to pay. But I was looking at him. And he was looking at me, although obviously puzzled as to why I did not immediately snatch up his cash. It's not like it took me half a minute to free my pigtail. It took me like ten seconds. Maybe he thought I was just fiddling or something. ::sigh:: Why does everyone think they have to prompt me in order for me to work? I'm not DOS.
Okay. This is annoying. See, apparently the warehouse made some mistakes this week on customer orders; nothing too drastic, but they sent us duplicate copies of a bunch of customers' books when they only ordered one. Maybe the label-maker messed up or something, because a great number of people got multiple copies of the same book. Of course they don't have to pay for them, we just send them back, but apparently whoever was calling the customers mentioned how many copies came in just in case the customer really DID want that many copies and it wasn't a mistake. So. With that setup in mind, enter this lady.
She picked up her book, and then asked where the other two copies were. I was unaware of the situation at this time (this being my first brush with it), and I asked her if she ordered three and only one came in or something. She replied that no, she ordered one, but that on the phone they had told her two MORE came in and did she want those too. I was a little confused by that, and asked her if they all came in with her name on them, but she said they didn't. (She was wrong, but she had no way of knowing that it was just that the warehouse was spewing out customer orders with her name on them multiple times; they didn't tell HER either.) So I was a little confused as to why other books that WEREN'T for her would be offered to her on a customer order call, since the books for the store aren't even in the same boxes. So I asked her, if she didn't want those other two books, why she was asking me where they were. Turned out she just wanted to know where books of this type were shelved so she could see more.
Unfortunately, she seemed to think we'd have a "survival guide section." (And I'm not talking about like wilderness survival or anything; it was just like a book with "survival guide" in the title, and anything we have on surviving various things, from college exams to your first year as an elementary teacher, would be shelved in sections that applied, not in a random "how to survive various things" section.) But this lady was firmly convinced that since three of her book had come in, the other two MUST be somewhere in the store, and that there would be others of its kind near it.
I looked the book up on the computer and it said indeed that we did not carry it; of course not, if she had to order it. So I told her again I didn't know why she thought I'd have two more copies on a shelf anywhere. But something told me she probably just didn't know three had come in for customer orders, and I checked the send back shelf and there they were. I picked them up and showed them to her, showed her how they had her name on them and told her they'd just messed up and were sending them back. But STILL, she persisted; but where in the store would they be shelved? ARGH.
Again, I explained. We do not carry the book. Therefore it would not be shelved anywhere. Truthfully, sometimes books we don't carry still have shelving locations listed in the computer, and I told her that sometimes they do if they're something we've ever carried or something like that, but the computer was just saying "categorization not available." I even showed her that on the screen. Her response? "Let's go through this one more time." So, of course, I'm the ass who just doesn't comprehend what she wants, when I'm way past comprehending what she wants and am trying to tell her we don't do it.
So. I went through a very detailed explanation of how our store orders books. If it's not something we carry, we can order it from the warehouse. If extra copies come in or someone rejects the order, it doesn't mean we just keep it. We have a mandated quota of how many of each book and which books to carry, and we don't just throw things on the shelves if they don't belong in the store as mandated by the company. Therefore, these extra books were getting sent back and were not going to be shelved any time. Just to appease her a little, I looked at her book and said that if we had anything like that one it'd probably be in Self Help, but by that point she was just kind of giving me a rather kind smile, the type most people reserve for those they are humoring or small children doing something cute out of ignorance. She thanked me and walked away. Chances are, she wanted to ask someone else who obviously knew their job better than I did. But actually, I think she was just tired of the whole thing and probably just went and bought the book.
A lady who wanted a Motown book was basically nice to me. It was some new book that had been released about Motown stars, and when I first looked it up I informed her that there were actually several that fit that description but hers was probably the newest one released in December. We went over to look for it but we did not find it, so I offered to call the other store for her and she agreed. But then as I was walking away, she called after me with a sweet little reminder: "The new one." Yeah lady! As if I don't know to ask them to try and find, say, the same book WE'VE been looking for for the last three minutes. I'm just going to call them and assume any old Motown book is okay with you, when you were totally specific with me which one you wanted. I hate being underestimated. It just irks me.
And finally, a lady wanted something but we were apparently out of it. I called the other store looking for it and they also didn't have it. So she asked me, "Do you know are there any other bookstores in town?"
I couldn't help it, I answered this as I've answered this question once before (just on 1/12, actually): "No, sorry, we're the ONLY one in the WHOLE town." This makes so much sense, you know, because in a town like ours we'd have TWO of our stores but NO other bookstores at all. In a college town. Whatever. Most urban places at least have a mall bookstore or something. So when I quickly assured her that I was kidding and of course there were other bookstores, she looked annoyed and said, "Well, I'm not from here, I'm from out of town!" Oh, gee, my mistake, lady . . . everyone knows you have to know a place or live there in order to know they have more than one bookstore in a fairly large town. Yeah.
1/27/03
A lady wanted to return Magic cards and get some of a different series of Magic card because her son didn't want those. I granted her permission to do the return and began the transaction once she had what she wanted to exchange them for, and I noticed on her receipt that there was a miscellaneous 20% discount figured into the price she'd paid. I asked whether this was from a one-day sale or something, and she replied that no, in fact it was the standard 20% that our company gives to the Boy Scouts. Then she seemed confused and said, "You put that on there your own self!" I knew I'd been the one to ring her up; my employee code was on the receipt. Then she started making weird comments that sounded like she was excusing me: "Oh, well, you were pretty flustered that day, you were awful busy, I guess maybe that's why you wouldn't remember," and I said, "Hey now, I ring up hundreds of people, I don't remember the circumstances of every single transaction." I said it kind of laughingly so she'd see that expecting me to remember such things was . . . well, silly. Then she replied, "Well, you'll remember next time. I'm the one with the Boy Scout discount." Ack! MORE THAN ONE PERSON in this town has that discount, lady, and there's no guarantee I'm going to remember everything about your freaking transaction just because I've seen you before! Argh.
I was helping a lady in the Kids' Education section when some guy stood at the edge of the aisle and started yelling "EXCUSE me" at me, clamoring for my attention. I glanced at him but kept talking to the woman I was helping, as I had been. He called, "EXCUSE me, do you WORK here?" just completely oblivious of the fact that I was helping someone else. I indicated her with my hand, but he didn't seem to understand the meaning of that either and started shouting at me what he needed. I'm sorry, but this sort of behavior is ONLY acceptable if you have a toddler who needs to potty RIGHT NOW or something. Otherwise, you are an adult, and YOU CAN BLOODY WELL WAIT.
A lady looking for poems on transportation thought maybe I'd have an index in my computer of what poems were in every existing book. She didn't want a whole book, you see--only just poems she could copy out about transportation, for her son. This isn't really ridiculous or anything, but it's just . . . why would I have any index of what's in every book? Afraid not.
I regretfully informed a girl that her book had to be ordered. Her response was, "You don't even maybe have a paperback?"
Actually, see, we in the book business don't consider paperbacks to be real books. Unless it's hardcover, hell, we don't want to sell it to you! We won't even mention that it exists! Yeah, lady, there are tons of this paperback sitting around, but I was quite sure you wouldn't want THOSE.
Oh yeah--back to reality. No, dammit! The paperback has to be ordered too! So she wanted journals next, and I led her to the journal table since she looked like the type to easily get lost (not that I can talk), and I took her to the table and indicated the journals, asking if this was the kind of journal she meant. She just stared blankly at me and said, "Um, where?" WHERE? How about on the table in front of which we're standing, at which I'm pointing with both hands? I mean, I swear I couldn't have been more specific about showing her the table unless I'd picked her up and put her down on the table itself. What the hell do you mean "where?" Argh. It's people like this that bug me: The ones who are themselves the largest roadblock to being helped.
And then a lady wanted to know why a book marked $1.97 wasn't 97˘. It took a really long time to explain to her that books with the 97˘ sticker on them were the only ones that were 97˘; it wasn't just any book in the vicinity of that sign. But this still disturbed her, and she acted like it was this giant circumstance that was the deciding factor in whether she'd buy the book. Lady. IT'S A DOLLAR. Then she told me to keep it for her 'cause she'd be back, then she came back and told me to never mind, she wasn't coming back, and then she came back and asked for her book again. So, blah, I rang it up with one other thing, and saw she was holding an IQ test booklet. I asked if she wanted that too and she said, "It's free, right?" I told her no, it's $2.95, like the sticker says on the back. "But it's just a little test," she protested. Yeah, and bookmarks are just a little piece of paper with a string attached, and they cost $1.69; pens are just a little piece of plastic with some ink in them; for that matter, all the books are just hunks of dead trees marked with distinctive patterns of ink. Why does the fact that it's "just a little test" make you think it doesn't cost anything? Oh well. Then she wanted the discount card, but balked when she found out it cost money.
Oh, here's another fun one . . . some lady informed me that the Atkins diet book was supposed to be 75% off. I was like OH no it's not. I expected to hear her say in that insistent customer whine, "Well it was on the 75% off table!" in complete ignorance that we do not have a 75% off table but only 75% off books (labeled as such), but for some reason this was not the case. She said she'd gotten it off of a display of all the Dr. Atkins books. There was no way there was any 75% off sign anywhere near Dr. Atkins. That would be a terrible idea considering how popular they are. So I explained to her that his new bestseller was probably at 30% off, but this wasn't even that book. It was just a paperback for $7.99, so she shut up and bought it. I immediately went over to the Atkins display to see if there was something marginally misconstrue-able.
NOTHING! I came up with no Earthly idea how she'd come to believe this! Usually I can figure it out, but this time it was totally unclear to me. The entire Atkins endcap had a nice clear sign saying "Dr. Atkins: Up to 30% off" with the one bestseller discounted 30% (stickered) and the others bearing discounts or not up to that price. There was NOTHING ANYWHERE NEAR IT that said 75% off. I wonder, sometimes, when people say these things, if they are mistaken or if there's a secret Jedi Master class somewhere and they are amateurs practicing their mind tricks. If I see one light saber, I am out of here.
Some lady wanted clip art stuff that she said comes in little pamphlet type things. I'm not sure how we got on the subject but she said they'd be with needlecraft stuff, so I showed her those and she was dismayed to find only sewing patterns and stuff. Then she started acting like I must not know what clip art is, or whatever. And she didn't understand that I couldn't look up a series of books by their publisher; we only have author, keyword, and title searches and her requests hadn't brought anything up. So, she wanted to know where ANY clip art was, and I told her we didn't have anything (I'd been asked this question twice before in my illustrious career at the store), except perhaps if this one large sale book I'd seen was still hanging around. I gave it a search but the book was not to be found, and by this point the lady was acting containedly polite; she thanked me almost sarcastically, twice, and went away thinking I had no idea what I was doing. News flash, lady: I heard that. Yep, I "read" your mind. I can hear you, asshole. Pity you can't answer people's thoughts aloud without people acting like you're weird.
1/26/03
Here's jerk of the day: Some guy was being a dick, first of all, about our lack of gift-wrapping services. He asked if we did gift-wrapping and I said no, and then he was all like, "Well the OTHER store does," punctuating it with a continued stare after his words were over, like they would prompt me to change the condition. What was I supposed to do? We. Don't. Do. It. See? So he asked where the gift bags were (which I pointed out to him) and soon enough he was back, but complaining that he'd left his discount card in the car. (Genius? Yes.) I told him if he got it at our store he'd be in the 'puter, but then lo and behold he was not, so I asked if it was older than a year. He irritatedly told me that it was, but made as if to go out to the car to get it, since I was making this so difficult for him. I told him if it was more than a year old, getting the card wouldn't help because it was expired. So he replied, "Well, SCREW the ten percent," loudly enough that other customers (not to mention his daughter) could hear, but then when I was finished ringing him up he was like, "Well, if my card's out, RENEW me," no please or asking what the details were. I told him it'd cost him five bucks to renew for a year, and he goes, "You have to renew every year? What's the POINT?" I was sick of his shit, and told him exactly what the "point" was: "If you spend more than fifty dollars here in a year, you save more than five dollars. If you don't spend more than fifty dollars here in a year, it's not worth it to get the card." He seemed offended for some reason, as if he should be allowed to make disparaging comments about our policies but I shouldn't try to explain why they make perfect sense. He decided he was above paying for a new card today, and when I asked if he wanted a plastic bag or if he wanted to take it out like he'd brought it up (a gift bag with tissue and a bow and a stuffed animal in it), he was like, "Just put it in a bag" like I was too incompetent to anticipate which he'd want. Dude, most people who buy gift bags in a rush like that don't even need a bag because the gift goes in the bag and the card gets signed en route to some ten-year-old's party. But no, I couldn't have a legit reason for asking that question. I'm just an annoying cashier. Your momma.
Some guy informed me that he'd been back at Customer Service for "ten minutes" and there'd been no one there the whole time. This usually translates to much less than five minutes, first of all, and secondly, they were probably doing something like browsing around, not standing at the desk but walking around just keeping an eye on the desk. I know maybe people don't think about it, but unless we see you waiting to be helped, we assume you don't need any help and we go about our business. If we see you waiting, we go to the desk. Not if you're just wandering around the area or sitting in the chairs behind it. That's how we're trained. So anyway, the guy who'd been waiting "ten minutes" went back over there when I said I'd call someone. Then when he came back to the register to buy stuff, I asked him if he'd found everything okay and he said, "Yeah, finally." Oh, suck it up.
A lady at the register could not find her discount card, and began slowly and deliberately emptying her wallet of stuff in order to find it. She glanced over her shoulder before she began and said loudly, "Well, I'm just glad there's nobody behind me!" This was kind of absurd. Because there was someone behind her. I ended up finding her name in the computer but for some reason she just felt it necessary to keep digging for the card, even though my location of her in the 'puter was fine to give her the discount. But I guess it didn't matter, since the girl behind her didn't exist.
Genius from 11/17/02 was back--the same guy who came in on a Sunday saying he'd gotten this postcard after our Saturday sale was already over (imposserous--no mail comes on Sundays!). Every time this man comes in, he's got issues. Today, he wanted me to "just make sure" that the books he'd chosen were 30% off. Yeah, and they were just regular books with no discount stickers on them. I told him they had no discounts, to which he replied that they were under a sign that said they were discounted. I'm way too used to hearing this, and I gave him my standard response: "Show me the sign." I explained to him, on the way over, that the signs generally say a category or type of book, and then an "up to 20% off" or whatever, emphasis on the "UP TO." Then those books on which the discount applies bear the appropriate sticker, while the others don't. Anyway, he said, "Oh, I can't believe I'd fall for that!" That made me happy because I figured he was accepting that our sign probably said something else. When we got there, it did indeed say "Historical Fiction: UP TO 20% off plus 10% with discount card." I pointed it out, but maybe he was reading in another universe, because he said, "SEE, 30%, that's fairly straightforward don't you think?" I drew his attention, again, to the "UP TO," and pointed out which books had the discount sticker on them. He decided at that point not to take the books, only buying his newspaper. On the way back to the register he started muttering things that utterly made no sense. One of the things he said was, "Do you think I come here just for a pretty face?" I hope not. We don't sell those.
More hijinks with the mythical "97˘ table." There's a sign that says there's a clearance sale on 97˘ books, and on the sign is the red sticker that it applies to. Surrounding the sign are lots of books that the 97˘ indeed applies to. However, surrounding THOSE are your average sale books; no further discount stickers on them. So a guy came up and bought a devotional that was marked $9.97, and he paid and left the store before he realized hey, I thought that was 97˘! So he brought it back and got all indignant with me that I'd charged him so much money, and argued with me about it being "on the table." Good lord, guy, there are a bajillion books on that table! The sign says what it applies to! When I called a manager to do the refund, he babbled to him too, all weirded out and confused and sounding like he knew we'd tried to trick him and making it obvious that he felt wronged or betrayed by our attempts to take nine dollars extra of his money. Whatever, man. If you'd read the sign instead of just seeing a giant "97˘" and decided to see what it's ON instead of just assuming it applies to everything you hope it does, then maybe we can speak on the same level.
1/25/03
A guy had apparently ordered a book and never received our call saying it had come in. Well, if we received it and his number worked, we called. We have no motivation to take random books and shove them up our butts so that customers cannot give us money for them. Anyway, this was not my problem. The problem for me was that I told him it probably got sent back, since it was ordered over a month ago and we send books back once we've had them sitting unclaimed for two weeks. Even after I told him the date, he steadfastly held to the opinion that we hadn't had enough time to send it back. Dude. If you ordered it more than a month ago, that means it probably came in over three weeks ago, which gives us a good week of wiggle room there. It probably got sent back. Deal with it.
Some snippity lady got crappy with me at the register today. I had been (mistakenly) called to the register to help Neil, but I did it even though I was supposed to be watching Customer Service too. So I took on a register, but then some lady in Neil's line had a return and a lady in mine had a regular transaction, so Neil switched the women since I can do returns and he can't. The lady I got started whining about how if only one person can take returns we should have a sign over me saying "returns." I gave her the answer to why that's impractical (like, we MOVE, we don't stay in the same place, and whether we can do a return is based on the person who's signed on, not the register), but she didn't want to hear it; she's a customer and she's right. So it turned out that actually she had no receipt and wanted to do an exchange, but hadn't picked out what she wanted to exchange it for. She was assuming I could help her find it, and belted out the name of the book she wanted. I told her I couldn't look up books on the register and said I'd send her to Customer Service, but she replied, "That's okay, just point me in the direction of where it'd be." Ahem. I DON'T KNOW THE LOCATION OF ANY BOOK YOU HAPPEN TO SAY TO ME. That is why we have computers. So I told her I didn't happen to know that one off the top of my head, and as she stepped dismissively out of line, she fired off a snide, "OH, so you just have NO CLUE, I see," and took off for the desk. I was glad I was off the register by the time she came back to do her return, because I don't find it particularly pleasant to be smeared with some lady's moist attitude.
In other news, shortly thereafter I argued with Neil about whether our café is called Joe Muggs or Joe's Muggs, because I heard him call it "Joe's Muggs" to a customer in a previous transaction. I pointed out that it had no apostrophe and no S, but he argued that just "Joe Muggs" makes no sense and that since they're "obviously" (what??) making a play on the phrase "cup of joe," it makes sense only if it is "Joe's Muggs." I was like no, they're saying "Joe Muggs" is the guy's name, and you can't just change a company's name because you think it should be something else, but then he argued with me about how IBM should therefore be called International Business Machines or whatever if we weren't going to put periods between the letters, but at that point he totally lost me (mostly because he was talking out of his ass as usual), but no, Neil's got to be right, he's thought this through and it makes sense to HIM. No, Neil. You're not allowed to challenge my language or grammar. I am the QUEEN.
1/22/03
Some lady wanted to buy the Gatoropoly game, but insisted it had no price on it. I turned to go get one, but she hollered at me, "It's not ON there, I checked!" Well, lady, what do you think I'm gonna do? Make something up? I had to go get one so I could scan it maybe. But it turned out I didn't have to do that because its price was there on its back. I told her what it was and she calmed down, but then she wanted a religious book, and according to the computer we were supposed to have it in the Inspiration section. This always makes me groan, because our Inspiration section is TOTALLY out of order! NO rhyme or reason. I explained that to her as we walked over there, apologetically telling her we'd have to glance through and try to spot it. Her reply was, "So . . . it'd be under his name?" Are people just not listening to me, or am I not speaking their language, or is what I'm saying so unbelievable that they try to change reality with Jedi Mind Tricks? I don't get it.
Some lady called me wanting directions. In order to properly give directions I needed to know where she was, but every attempt to get information out of her was interrupted with some useless question. "Are you before or after the mall? The left or the right?" Listen, lady, everything's relative; I know that and I don't even drive. I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE before I answer your questions. But no, every time I asked whether she was coming from the Interstate or going toward it, I was met with some other clarifying question, usually interjected into my question. Listen, if you're going to ask someone a question, perhaps you should let them do the talking once answer time comes around. Anyway, then she asked for some book that I couldn't order; it showed up in the computer as existing at some point, but not for me to get. So, in response to that, the lady said proudly, "Well, it's published by such and such publisher." Guess what? I still can't order it. But good for you; you get a medal.
I came back from helping another customer to find a woman waiting at the desk for me. I had been gone less than a minute helping her because it was an easy question in Kids', so I knew the lady had been there for at the most forty-five seconds. When I walked up to help the new customer, she was cheerfully vacant in her dealings with me, greeting me with, "OH, a minute ago there was NOBODY HERE!" I told her I knew that, because I had been there and then helped someone in the Kids' section. But then she replied, "But I was JUST here, and there was NOBODY! Nobody here!" For some reason this was delivered in a tone of wonder or astonishment, but not in a mean way. I couldn't figure it out, what she was trying to say. Yes, I know I was not here for a second. Because I was doing this thing called my job, helping another customer. Yes, contrary to popular belief I come out of the booth just like Toll Booth Willie. Anyway, after she got over her happy shock of seeing NOBODY here, she asked about a book and I found its author for her. I reminded her of the author's name and she seemed to recognize it, and I pointed ahead to the Fiction section and said, "It should be here under Johansen," but surprise surprise, she stopped in front of the S shelf and began to stare forlornly at it. This I did not get. Did she just think she'd go to Fiction and her book would happen to be interspersed in every section every few shelves? And I was going right to the J's, and there she was just staring at the S's like she just couldn't understand what to do next. When I found the book under J, she was like, "Oh, it was over THERE?" and was all giggly-happy. I found myself wondering if she could even read the thing.
Ahh yes. And some guy came in and asked whether we had Harry Potter book 5 yet. It drives me up the wall how people can work themselves into a tizzy hearing on an ad something about the fifth book, and immediately assume that means it must be out. No, no, dude. The press release said mid-June. It is mid-January now. It's like how people will read the part of the sign that says "50% off" but won't read the words under it that say "Christmas merchandise." They'll listen to the ad but all they'll hear is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, none of this junk about, say, it being released half a freakin' YEAR from now.
1/21/03
A guy wanted to "make sure" some book was 50% off today. I told him it was not; it was some random sale book about the Peanuts characters, and I didn't know why he thought it would be 50% off. When I told him it was not on sale any more than the already discounted price, he said, "Well, it's on your 50% off rack." I said, "We don't have a '50% off rack,'" to which he replied, "You do too," in this tone like a four-year-old. Hehe. So I asked him to show me this mythical 50% off rack, which turned out to be a sign on the table advertising 50% off Christmas merchandise. And all the applicable merchandise is stickered, thanks to one particular manager who does an exhaustive and wonderful job with such things. When I informed the man that the sign that says "50% off Clearance Sale" applies to anything with a "50% off Clearance Sale" sticker, he replied, "Oh, so that's the trick." What trick? It's straightforward. But no. Any book that's been put in the vicinity has to be part of this supposed sale. I told him someone just put this book down in the wrong place, and that we can't stop people from misplacing things but we can assure that only the correct merchandise gets discounted by stickering the applicable items. In defense to his position, he said, "Well that whole stack of books is sitting here too!" Well, that whole stack of books were CHRISTMAS BOOKS and had STICKERS on them. ::sigh:: At least he was agreeable after he understood what the deal was and didn't demand to speak to a manager or something, 'cause some people do do that. . . .
1/20/03
I find that people don't listen to me at the register sometimes. (This is one of my pet peeves; people think I'm part of a computer process rather than a person.) So, when I asked a guy, "Did you find everything okay?" and he said, "That'll be all," I was like, hey, he didn't answer my question, and I repeated myself, "But did you find everything all right?" Then he just kind of stared at me and said, "OH. Actually I had a question." And then more blank stare, even after I asked him what. I prompted him again, "What's the question?" "OH," he said again. Then he asked if we had any audio books that covered selling. Turned out he hadn't been to the Audio Book section at all, just the Business section expecting to find sales tapes. ::sigh::
A woman asked me for Corel QuickBooks today. I asked her if there was a particular book she was looking for on Corel but she just gave me a sort of "I-wish-people-knew-how-to-do-their-jobs" look and explained that QuickBooks was computer software.
Silly me. But see, if you worked in a cheese shop and someone came up asking you for grapes, probably your first inclination would be to imagine that the customer knows what they're talking about and wonder what type of cheese they might be talking about that could be called "grapes."
So, being that we don't sell any computer software and never have, my first inclination was to imagine that she was asking for a book. I'm kinda incompetent, huh?
Today a lady was evil about making sure to let us know we're inferior to Borders Books and Music. She asked for the next volume in the Secrets of Droon series, and for some reason thought that they might be a mysterious "somewhere else" besides the Intermediate Series area where she found the rest of the series. When I told her that if it wasn't there it wasn't anywhere, she told my coworker and me that that was okay, she'd just have to go to BORDERS instead (saying it loud to make sure we'd be shamed, ohh nooooo). Then she made kind of a show of apologizing to her kid, "I'm sorry, son, we should have gone to BORDERS in the first place." Er . . . well, we DID have Secrets of Droon number fourteen, but two people already got here and bought them, I suppose, since I had them and they're not here now. Guess that means we're the ones that suck.
Okay, question of the day. Why do people spell their last names for me all the time? If they've got a book on hold, customers can just tell me a last name and I can get it from the shelf for them. So it kind of puzzles me that someone with the last name of "Rose" spelled it for me, and then someone else with the last name of "Ruth" spelled it for me shortly thereafter. Okay, maybe "Rose" could be spelled "Rows," but it'd still be under R, and therefore easy to find. I can't imagine how else you'd spell "Ruth." But let's just say that even for those who don't have a JOB working intimately with spelling, neither "Ruth" nor "Rose" is rocket science to spell. I personally don't spell anything for someone unless they ask me to. Why must people do this to me?
1/19/03
I just thought I'd mention I hate getting a blank stare from someone after I've thoroughly examined a shelf and dropped the bomb that we must be out of the book they want. I think they must think my computer "says we have it" and that if we were out it would tell me so. But unfortunately I don't have anything so advanced and wonderful as perpetual inventory (and even if I did, I have no doubts that occasionally it would be incorrect or someone might have taken the book but left it elsewhere in the store). But why do they have to just stare at me? Are they expecting me to start laughing and saying, "Haha, no just kidding, here's the copy I've been saving up my ass." Or maybe they're hoping I'll do a trick or something.
Today a guy came in all perplexed that he'd seen a title on a display last week and now it was mysteriously GONE. He was like, "It used to be right there!" and for some reason he thought it would help his situation (or maybe just convey his frustration better) if he told me that six times. I told him our endcap displays changed this week and that we don't perpetually keep the same books on display all the time, but he still seemed really confused and explained to me a couple more times that it was "right there!" He managed to remember the title for me and I found that it would be housed in our World History section, and as I was taking him there and while I was looking through the books for it, would you believe he came up with the revolutionary information that, wow, ya know he wouldn't think it would be in THIS section--after all, just last week it was on that display right there! Right THERE!
1/18/03
Today I was at the register doing a break, and I got into it with a couple women customers. See, we have all these marked down "final clearance" items from Christmas, primarily boxed Christmas cards, and the signs all say "up to 75% off." Of course, the company decided to cause grief to customer and employee alike by making the "up to" really small. I tried to explain to the lady that we'd gone through and marked all the items with a special price gun to show their old price and their new price, and that everything wasn't exactly 75% off its original price. She was like, "Then they shouldn't be under a sign that says they are! I know what 75% is, and that's not it!" I explained again that the price gun thing was supposed to clear up that confusion, but she was hearing none of it, saying, "Oh here we go AGAIN." (Dunno what she meant by that, but when the women started talking among themselves I got the idea that this same sort of thing had happened just recently at an Eckerd's on sale items. Guess what, y'all? It's a clue that you should start reading ALL the words on the signs.) In any case, after I finished ringing her up and told her her receipt was in the bag, she just grabbed it from me and said, "You're welcome," very pointedly, and the women walked out. For some reason this didn't upset me very much, even though being treated as if I am unreasonable or rude usually bothers me a lot. I just didn't care today.
Here's another sort of jerky customer. See, this lady came up with three books that had been on tables. For some reason the fact that an item is on a table makes people think that therefore it costs less than it is marked. So the lady handed me a sale book and said, "Could you check on the price of this one for me?" I read her the price tag, thinking maybe she just hadn't seen how much it was labeled for, but then she said, "No, I want you to CHECK it. You know, like scan it without charging me for it, to see how much it is?" So I was like, "Ma'am, it's $3.95," and she's like, "Just scan it." Heh. So, I put it under the thing and let her see that it did indeed ring up for the price I mentioned. So then she had two more. Two more items to "check." What she didn't understand is that on sale books, the sale price is already on there; they're not GOING down any more. I told her that if the price came up differently than the price marked on the book but there was no discount sticker, it would be a mistake and I'd be supposed to change it. She just looked at me and said, "I don't know why you can't just go along with me on this." I decided she was more trouble than she was worth and just ran her stuff under the scanner. Far be it for me to make things easier by explaining that if something is marked a certain price with no indication that it should be any other price, it will indeed be that price. No, please, bring me everything in the store just to "check." Maybe after a couple thousand tries, you'll realize I actually knew what I'm talking about, since I kind of work here.
1/14/03
A lady stared at my Beginning Readers section for about a half minute before interrupting me to ask, "Is this in order by title or author?"
This is a little confusing to me. Because as screwy as some sections in the store are, my section is very nearly PERFECT, especially in the Beginning Readers section where it is pretty straightforward what to list them by (while some books in, say, the Baby section, are listed by their publishers instead or whatever). I'm sorry. I just don't understand how you can be staring at a perfectly alphabetized section and then ask me that question.
Not to mention that I've never heard of a bookstore that alphabetizes anything by title.
What is it with people phrasing things so pessimistically these days? It's like they come up HOPING we can't help them. Today: "You guys used to have this chapstick stuff called Burt's Bees. You don't carry it anymore, huh?" Wherever did he get that idea? Strangely enough he was almost standing right in front of the display. But that's not what bothered me, I overlook stuff all the time myself. It just bothered me to be approached with the attitude that he already knew we didn't carry what he wanted, and it isn't just him--it's just a weird, weird phenomenon. "You guys don't have a bathroom, huh?" (Translation: I couldn't find it when I accidentally walked into your back room.) "I guess you all don't carry books on tape, do you." (Only in the very large audio section, which is the one marked "Audio.") "I'll pick it up on Monday, I'm sure y'all aren't open on Sundays." (Since Christmas doesn't fall on Sunday this year, I can assure you we are open 9-9 every single Sunday for the foreseeable future.) Argh.
1/13/03
I got called to Customer Service from the café. That's a little unusual. Because I could understand going to the register and thinking maybe they could look a book up for you too, but I do NOT understand going into the coffee shop part of the store and saying, "Excuse me, do you have this book?" Anyway, apparently that's what this man did, so I was paged to Customer Service and he was sent to me.
We arrived at about the same time, and I walked behind the desk, and looked at him, and put my hand on the mouse of the computer, thinking he'd say something, but he just kind of nodded at me and then looked like he was busy looking at something, so I didn't know if he was waiting or whatever, but I just asked him, "Can I help you with something?"
His response was a surprised, "OH, are you the one?"
Yeah, I guess that'd be me. Ya know, the one who spontaneously arrived as soon as the café girl had someone paged and ended up standing behind the Customer Service desk looking at you. I know it's difficult to comprehend, but yes, I am the one who's here to help you.
Anyway.
He asked me if we had any books by Dr. Wayne Dyer, and I asked if he wanted a particular one (ya know, it's a lot easier to search by a book title than an author, because an author search will just bring up all the listings of one author's books, which is kind of counterproductive if the customer is looking for a certain one). But he didn't seem to understand that I was asking a question. I repeated it and he was like, "Oh," and responded with his book title. Well, I had to open up a search window since it was my first customer of the day, and as I was doing so, he asked, "So, is he in there?" I explained that I HADN'T TYPED ANYTHING YET, I had to wait for the computer to be ready. Then when I typed it in, I was waiting for it to load and he was like, "Well do you have any?" Why is it that some people think I will not volunteer information unless I am prompted to do so?
Anyway, I found that we did carry several books by Dyer, though the one he wanted would have to be ordered. I took him to the Self-Help section and pointed out the cluster of Dyer's books, and he looked at them for a second, picked one up and examined it, and then said, "Is this where they'd be?" I had no idea what he meant, because I WAS SHOWING THEM TO HIM THAT SECOND, so what does he think he's holding right now? Anyway, I said that yes, these were Dyer's books, but then he asked again, "Well is this the section they'd be in?" I pointed to each book in turn, saying, "YES, we've got this one, and this one, and this one, and this one." "Oh, okay, so this is where they'd be then." ARGH. So I left him alone and went back to my work. On my way I encountered the cashier and we started chatting as it was a slow morning, but we were interrupted by Genius, who strolled up holding four Dyer books, and asked me, "What do these sell for?"
I told the guy that the books sold for the price that was marked on them. It was then that he discovered the books had BACKS. "So that's the prices then?" What the hell is with this guy?? I said yes, that's how the prices work, and if you have a discount card you'll get ten percent off. He actually seemed to understand that, and said, "Oh, okay," and proceeded to get checked out by the cashier. I stayed close by because I wanted to hear what he was going to say; doubtless he would continue being a jackass at the register. I was not disappointed.
"Sir, do you have a discount card?" "A what?" "A discount card?" "A WHAT, now?" "DO YOU HAVE A DISCOUNT CARD?" "Huh? A what?" Now I had JUST mentioned to him that it would be ten percent cheaper with a discount card and that was acceptable to him. In the same ten seconds he acted like a discount card was like a Martian concept. This guy just should have been eaten by a lion at birth or something.
1/12/03
Lady: "Do you know are there any other bookstores in town?"
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Me: "No, sorry, we're the only one!"
Then I told her of course there were others and named some of them. I'm not a total bastard.
Today a guy wanted to pick up his book at the Customer Service desk and didn't seem to understand that I needed his name, not a vague description of what the book looked like. I waited for him to stop talking so I could ask for his name, but then he just started pointing as he talked, pointing at the Customer Service shelves where we store books on hold, as if I didn't know where to look to get his book. Grrr! Your job is to tell me your freaking name. Don't worry about my job, dude.
Some obnoxious guy could be heard calling, "HEL-LOOOOO!" at the register this morning. Our manager had assigned the register girl to do a project while she watched register, and while she was briefly away this guy could not handle maybe walking to the café or waiting until she came back. I cannot imagine walking up to a counter and not finding anyone to help me and responding to the situation by yelling something rude at the top of my lungs. FUCK YOU dude. I am really losing my patience with these people.
1/11/03
A couple wanted to find a book called The Lieutenant's Wife, but neither the couple nor either of my customer service coworkers (one of them being the store's general manager) knew how to spell "lieutenant." I heard their plight and came over to spell it for them, and when I spelled it to my manager and he still didn't find the book, I figured he probably fucked it up somehow and went to type it in myself. I also got nothing, at which point my manager announced, "Well, time to get the dictionary!" Argh! I couldn't help it then and I just said, "I doubt the problem is being caused by my spelling." I typed in just "lieutenant," and got something called The French Lieutenant's Woman. The couple claimed this was not the book, though. Maybe it was The Sergeant's Wife, I don't know. But in any case, it wasn't because I can't spell! I'M AN EDITOR DAMMIT!
The Yu-Gi-Oh! kids swarmed the place today. A fist-fight broke out, one kid was walking around in the parking lot trying to steal things by trying car doors to find unlocked ones, and some jerkoff was skateboarding in the outdoor hallway right by our exit door, periodically almost smashing into customers. (Intelligent, eh?) Also, one of them called me "Laura" (the name of the previous tournament officiator) and several of them came up to me trying to get Yu-Gi-Oh! stuff from me, as if I had anything to do with it.
Today I was telling my manager about the lady who insisted we were Barnes and Noble (see entry for 12/10/02). And he related a story of his own: Somewhat recently, a man was screaming about how he should be allowed to use his Barnes and Noble gift card at our store because Barnes and Noble bought us out. My manager replied that he had just been at a managers' meeting where he met the owner of the company, and probably would have heard something at some point if we were being bought out by one of our rival chains. Yeah.
Here's something I hate. I had a lady come up and ask if we had pocket day planners. We haven't had those this year; we have big old fat organizers that might fit in a purse but not a pocket, and we have desk calendars and stuff. But the lady just looked at me pointedly and replied, "Well, I found one here last year," and proceeded to explain that she'd seen it on one of these displays somewhere when she'd bought it. This I don't get. What do people think I'm going to do when they do that? "OH, shit, this lady knows we carry them because she got one last year! I'd better take her to the secret items area. It's a well-known fact that a store can't possibly carry an item one year and not the next. Yes ma'am, I'm sorry, now that you mention it we DO carry those!" WTF???
1/6/03
Today a lady came to Customer Service and caused all sorts of problems. First off, she wanted to pick up her book and claimed she'd already paid for it. She said it like, "And I believe it's already been paid for," as if there was some kind of question. I informed her that we cannot--not "do not," but CANNOT--take payment for a book we do not yet have in the store, so if we ordered it for her there is no way we could have had her pay beforehand. She argued this with me by claiming she had a receipt of the transaction. I asked to see what it was and she pulled out her order confirmation, which was just a piece of paper with her order number and the price of the book, it wasn't a receipt at all (and even said "amount due" next to the book's price). She backed off when I explained that, saying it was "fine" if she hadn't paid for it, she just thought she had. I gave it to her and she went on her way. But then she came back.
Pointing to the edge of the book, where I noticed a little dent in the spine, she said incredulously, "I have to take this banged up book?" I said if that was the way it came in it just got damaged somewhere in shipping, and if she wanted me to I could easily just order her another one. Since she seemed much more interested in just staring at me instead of offering a response (like I could put a band-aid on the book and heal it for her), I prompted her, "Do you want to put in another order and wait a week for a better copy?" Her answer? "Not particularly." With more staring and no more response. So, what the FUCK did she want me to do anyway? So I told her either she could take that one or wait for a new one, but there was nothing I could do about the fact that the book had damage. She decided to get it anyway and walked away. I mumbled under my breath, "Yeah, lady, why don't you let me eat your book and shit it out for you in perfect condition?" But then I noticed she was on her way back AGAIN!
So she approached the counter and pointed out that the book was volumes 5 and 6 or something, and she had been told by the associate who ordered the book for her that it was the complete work. She had this weird attitude that they had TRICKED her purposely or something. Well, at that point my coworker was at the computer, so she punched in the ISBN and the book's entry in our computer didn't show up as any partial volume or anything, so there wasn't any way we could have known it would just be part of a series or something. At that point I was sorry for her, but I was annoyed that she was making it out to be something we did on purpose or something. As if when she started reading it she wouldn't notice! Anyway, after finding that there was no "complete works" that we could order, the lady for some reason STILL decided to buy that book, even though it was only a part of what she wanted AND had a dent in the side. Horrors.
1/5/03
I was on register today, and right in front of the register is this table of crap no one wants now that Christmas is over. A couple walked by the table and knocked something off of it, and kept walking. The guy of the couple said to the girl, "Pick it up!" She replied, "YOU knocked it off!" They argued about whose fault it was all the way out the door. Ooh, guess who picked it up.
I asked a woman if she had a discount card, to which she replied VERY quickly, "No, I don't." Then she opened her wallet, and there was one right there in the top of her wallet, plainly visible. I asked her if that was just an expired one or something, and she looked at it and said, "OH!" and pulled it out and it was still good for like six months. Funny how people are just determined not to get a discount.
I had a guy at the register who kind of acted like every question I asked him was annoying and every time I needed something from him (ID, a signature, et cetera) it was a chore. But after he was done, he tried to walk away without taking the stuff he'd just bought! I must have REALLY annoyed him when I stopped him to take his magazine.
This lady was not all there. First off, I rang up her Christmas cards, which had price stickers of like $4.99 but had a half-off sticker on them. Wonder of wonders, our Home Office people (or whatever) have made it so that our computer actually recognizes which barcodes belong to Christmas cards and it automatically discounts them. So, up on the customer display pops, "Original Price: $4.99. Sale Price: $2.50" or whatever. My customer, however, pointed confusedly at the display, craned her neck at her product, and said, "Those are supposed to be fifty percent off!" I'm wondering what in the WORLD gave her the idea that she wasn't getting the discount, since for once it displayed right. (On many other items, I understand their confusion because it just pops up regular price and it takes a second for me to put the discount on, during which time they might see it and think the discount isn't being applied. But this isn't one of those times!) I pointed to the display and asked her to tell me what was wrong with it. She decided to read it this time and accepted it. Then she paid in cash for her purchase, and it seemed like she'd given me too many pennies so I started counting the change aloud. She interrupted me, repeating about three times, "But that's a dime! I gave you a dime!" I told her I knew it was a dime, and accordingly counted it as ten cents, but then she was like, "There's a DIME in there!" and I just stopped and looked at her, and said, "LOOK," and counted her money out to her, and sweetly said, "You gave me an extra penny." I gave it back to her. She was like, "OH, okay!" She was all worried I was trying to say she didn't give enough money and thought I was counting it wrong. Whatever.
A lady came up and wanted to know what percentage she would get off of journals. I told her the journals weren't on sale, and I received the standard response: "Well then they need to take them off the sale tables!" See, this I don't get. Why is it that if something is on a table, people figure it MUST be on sale? We are not allowed to use our own tables for regular-priced merchandise? Journals don't fit well on regular bookshelves, nor do we have special fixtures for them, so consequently, we put them on tables. As a result, we hear several times a week, "How much off are your journals?" ARGH!
My worst customer of the day award goes to: THIS JACKASS! HAHA! In all his infinite wisdom, my general manager decided to only put one cash drawer at the register today, and I was on it with a sudden line of about eight people and a woman doing a return at the front of it. I was having some trouble with the return, but nothing major; it was just that the lady had wanted me to put the store credit for her returned book on a gift card she already had, and her gift card had been demagnetized, so it wouldn't allow me to add value, only decrease. This took a while to find out because I had to run it through the machine and set it up and find that out, only to have to activate a whole separate card to give her the store credit. While I was waiting for it to activate, my coworker came up and wanted to know a price on an item that had a barcode but no price. She had hoped to scan it on my register, but couldn't if it was in the middle of a sale, but apparently she didn't know that you can still perform price lookups on registers without cash in them, so I quickly explained that she could just log on and use the price check feature. It was then that a woman in my line directed her comment at my coworker: "You know, she has a line of CUSTOMERS here. Maybe she can help YOU a little later." I giggled because that was such an astoundingly rude thing to say, considering the line wouldn't be moving any faster if I just stood there since I was just waiting for the store credit card to activate, but I explained to the lady that she didn't have to worry because I was indeed doing two things at once. Then I started giggling again and so did my coworker. Wow, what a piece of shit! If you don't understand the situation, it's really unfair to try to criticize.
I found out today that my manager used to take the tires off of people's cars in his high school parking lot, then sit around and watch how they reacted when they realized what had happened, and laugh at their attempts to put them back on. See what sort of role model I have?
1/4/03
Some lady at the register was just overtly jerky. First I asked for her discount card and she pulled it out, then studied it confusedly as if she wasn't sure it was the right one. Then she said, "OH, I can't read it, just scan it," and shoved it at me. Well, the reason she couldn't read the date on it was that there WAS no date on it (probably rubbed off). I asked her some questions about the card because when I scanned it it didn't recognize the card (which could mean it expired), but she just didn't seem to understand that I was talking to her and just ignored me mostly. Whatever. When I gave her a credit card slip to sign and put my Etch-A-Sketch pen next to it for her to sign with, she didn't understand what it was and looked expectantly around for a pen. When I didn't give her one she looked closer at the Etch-A-Pen and said, "Is THAT a pen??" I assured her that it was. On her way out she tripped over a box that was beside the register, having not bothered to look where she was going in her rush to get out the door. ::sigh::
A lady at the register had these boxed cards whose price was inconveniently on the inside. I had to open the box to scan the barcode, but then the box wouldn't go back in again because the plastic was really warped. The lady informed me that she had opened it to see how much it was and it had taken her a really long time to get it back in. She also said that if *I* could not get it back in she would not buy it, because it was a gift and she didn't want to give it if it wouldn't close properly. I tried a few more times, but the warped plastic didn't want to fit right, and as I attempted to wiggle it in the lady kept REPEATING HERSELF. "If you can't get it back together, I won't take it. It is a gift. I can't give it to her like that. If you can't get it in I won't buy it." I understood the first time, and every time she said it again I said, understandingly, "Oh, yeah, I understand that." But she wouldn't STOP!!! So finally I couldn't contain it anymore and said, "I KNOW, you keep saying that!" She stopped. I never did get it back together, and guess what? She didn't buy it. Because, you know . . . it was supposed to be a gift. And she didn't want to give it like THAT.
Oh yeah, some jerk gave me the evil eye today when I told her to go back to Customer Service to have them look up her book. :) I love the evil eye. I collect them.
A woman came to the register, but stood a good distance away, in front of a register where no one was operating the machine. So I figured she wasn't ready and went about my normal register tasks. Eventually a guy came up and tried to get in line behind her. This boggles my mind. The woman finally figured out that OH, there really IS someone there and maybe she should go to the register that actually has a cashier populating it. She made the interaction even better by producing a Barnes and Noble gift certificate to pay for her purchases.
At the very end of my shift (and I do mean the VERY end; my manager was taking my cash register out of service), a man came in the out door and began pointing at me. Now, I'd thought this man was kind of weird when I'd waited on him not five minutes ago; I'd asked him if he'd found what he wanted and he made a very odd noise that did not in any way resemble a sentient response. I was like, okay, maybe he's deaf, has a disability, or is foreign, and I proceeded to only say the things that required no response. Anyway, now he was back, pointing at me. My manager asked if he wanted help but he just kept pointing at me, and even though I was busy sorting my media I stopped to find out what he wanted. He held out the toy he'd bought and pointed to where it said "Batteries Included," and said in broken English, "Where is batteries?" I took the toy from him, gave the package a quick look to see if they were in there, and concluded that they must already be installed in the toy. I explained this to him but since he didn't understand English (apparently), all he could do was just point to the "Batteries Included" on the package and kind of make this distressed sound. I looked at the toy to see how it turned on, and the guy kind of weakly pushed the button on the top of the little toy's head, trying to turn it on. I figured it might be like many toys and require a little piece of plastic to be pulled out of a trigger hole, and when I turned it over I did indeed find that piece of plastic. I began to pull it out, but the guy began shrieking, "NO!! NO!!" and kept trying to push the button on the plastic animal's head, trying to tell me that THAT was how you make it go and it wasn't working!! Oh no!!!!! So I stepped away from him so he'd stop trying to take it away from me, pulled the little piece of plastic out, and promptly set the cute little thing making animal noises. This somehow did not satisfy him, because when it stopped he said, "It stop!" So push the head button again, dingus; you're obviously fond of it. My manager was getting impatient at this point because I was supposed to be in the back counting my cash drawer, so I just avoided the guy who was apparently REALLY disturbed at the toy's lack of perpetual motion; we just went around him and went to the back with my money. That was the last I saw of him.
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