Open Diary Entries

Winter Solstice 2002


Yesterday was Yule, the longest night. Here I give you a nice account of my day.

Work pretty much sucked. I got stuck on the register for most of the day, which is a fatass blow considering the same thing happened to me earlier in the week when I was supposed to have the time to put out my shipment. We have a plague going around Books-A-Million; everyone is getting sick and calling in, though yet again I seem to have escaped unscathed. However, I did get to put out about five boxes of my shipment, which was satisfactory. (Just annoying that I didn't get it ALL out--I usually have it out by Tuesday, and here it was SATURDAY and it's not done!)

So anyway, when my manager Stephen came up to the register and there was only about half an hour to go before I was supposed to go home, I reminded him that both Sarah and I were off at 4 so that he could get us prepared; there's a rule that you have to take your cash drawer back and count it and help make a deposit, so it takes about fifteen minutes and if we didn't start on one of us soon we were gonna be screwed. So when I reminded Stephen of this fact, he replied in this stupid wounded voice, "I know," and stalked off.

And that was the last I heard of him for half an hour, while Sarah and I were still just stranded on the register.

Well, for my part, I had a Solstice ritual planned, and I did not particularly feel like putting in more hours than I was supposed to. Especially since I was tired from coming in an hour early and staying up an extra two hours baking holiday cookies for my co-workers' ungrateful asses. So when quitting time hit and I'd seen neither hide nor hair of anyone to relieve us, I called the back room and got Stephen on the phone.

"This is Stephen."

"Hi. I'm sorry. We want to go home."


Startled and annoyed at being hung up on, I continued to ring up customers, for some reason absurdly trying not to cry. Sarah's husband was hanging around wanting to know when the hell she was getting off work so they could go decorate their Christmas tree. Finally at about 4:15 Diana arrived to count me down, and that we did. I got out about 4:45 or so, and they finally got going on Sarah's drawer.

Anyway, after I was freed from The Job, I got home in record time (the bus happened to coincide with my release), and I set to preparing for my Solstice ritual.

I've mentioned before that my rituals just got too complex for me, so much so that I didn't want to do them. And then even my simplified ones still seemed like an ordeal. Especially since two nights ago Mike and I celebrated a full-scale Esbat ritual, I did not feel like casting a circle. So I didn't!

What the hell? all the Wiccans are saying. You had a ritual without even casting a circle? That I did, my friends. I just went through the ritual I wrote, plucked out my favorite parts, and put all the materials I'd need on my little legless altar formed by the extra leaves for my kitchen table. I did many of the usual things: I lit my Yule log, I changed the nut in my wishing tree, I toasted the new year with Wassail I'd just made. But without a circle, the whole thing seemed so much less formal, so much more relaxed. I played music through the entire thing--something I never did before because sounds are generally distracting to me. When I realized I'd forgotten my yarn for my finger-knitting, I just got up and got it, no problem, no long bouts of cursing my forgetfulness, no doorways. A lot of Witches and Wiccans would probably say that's not right or even dangerous, but I think that's goofy. Unless you're walking around in a bubble all the time, you're always at some sort of risk, right? And I doubt some weird astral baddies are going to attack me because of a slight raising of energy. It has its place, to be sure, but for now, screw the circle!

So I just did a few nice things and listened to music; had some Wassail, nuts, and cookies; buried an apple outside; and changed my decorations to reflect the season. I encountered a mystery, too. What did I do last year with these freaking pinecones? I have a bag of pinecones and I have no idea where the basket is that I put them in last year, or where I set them. Oh well. Back in the closet with you!

I think this may set the stage for my future rituals. I sure hope so. I'm tired of thinking of them partly as an obligation.


I wouldn't worry. I'm sure the Goddess understands. [~Lonely~Muse~]

I agree with the above [scorpius blue heart]

I'm tired of thinking that studying is an obligation but nothing good comes out of skipping that "step". Guess it's the opposite for you, lucky goose. Hmm...this Stephen person sounds like L-O-S-E-R. I bet he'll be fired or something eventually...::gets excited:: [katqueen]

previous entry * open diary start * next entry