Open Diary Entries

Customer service goes down the toilet


Last week Jeaux and I were shopping for costume bits, and we went to this cool costume store called Center Stage.  The dude running the place was acting hideously inappropriately.  First off it turns out he's dating the owner's daughter or something, so that explains how the hell he keeps this job, but he was just like . . . a total jackass.  Here's why.

Jeaux and I were looking for boots for his costume, or spats he can wear instead.  We didn't find anything but the dude tried to help us and told Jeaux that they were getting a shipment in sometime next month and big size thirteen pirate boots would be in there.  Then he proceeded to tell us about how there would be moccasins and all kinds of other cool junk in there, saying it was going to be awesome and we should come check out all the new cool stuff when it got there.  Okay, well he's the one who works in the costume shop--doesn't he know that people don't ordinarily just come into a costume shop looking for random cool stuff?  Especially when they're asking for something specific?  So anyway we were looking for a wig for him next, and we were kind of pondering the mullet wigs (haha) because we could cut them into shape for his character, and he found one he liked but it was sort of expensive, so he was trying to find a cheaper alternative.

So the dude started talking about how the more expensive one would be better because if we planned to cut it then it might not be as good quality or whatever, and then he launched into this weirdness about how people get blocked into thinking things are "expensive" because they're seeing it as only being used once.  "It's not expensive if you re-use it over and over," he explained.  Well, I reminded him that it WAS a one-time use--we're going to a convention in costume, so it's not like he has a lot of places to go wearing a mullet wig and pirate boots.  So the dude starts suggesting all these things we can do with those pieces and how we should specifically have parties and gatherings and stuff that involve us wearing the costumes!

"Yeah, if you just find USES for the stuff, like I do, then it's not expensive at all, you get your money's worth."  Of course, yes.  Having parties and specifically inventing reasons to use the things will somehow make it all right that I spent lots of money on a costume part.  Like that wouldn't actually end up costing me MORE money.  I pointed that out to him and he was all like starting to look sulky, and said, "Well, it's something to do."

"I need another 'something to do' like I need a hole in my head," I explained.  And he's all yucky demanding that I tell him what I could be so busy with that I can't start a regular pastime of having costume parties to justify large purchases.  So, I told him.  Told him about writing, editing, running three Web sites, keeping up with my scary social life, and . . . oh yeah, holding down a full time JOB and also trying to find time to sleep somewhere in there.  Yes, I think I qualify as busy.

So he kind of illogically started ranting about how cool costume parties and stuff are, and that you just have to figure out how to get into it (like him and his girlfriend and her family or whatever)--"You gotta just make it your thing."  I kind of extricated myself from the conversation by explaining that I really didn't appreciate being told to change my lifestyle in order to feel better about buying an expensive costume piece, thank you.

Finally he's like "Oh, well, okay.  Hey, we have contacts!"  "Huh?"  "We got some colored contacts in, they're really cool. . . . " "Yeah.  Okay, where did THAT come from?"  He started looking all sulky again, and told me he didn't know why he told me that.  Yeah I don't know either.  Maybe you should quit smoking pot before you come to work.

At the register he rung us out too, and Jeaux had some trouble with his card because he (snicker) forgot his PIN.  Like four times.  The guy went to ring him through again and looked suspiciously at the card and said, "INTERESTING picture, man."  Jeaux didn't comment because he isn't a bitch, but I asked the dude what was so interesting about it.  "It totally doesn't look like you."  Oh, subtle--yes, his card is not working because it's not really his, that's it.  I replied that he looked like that sixty pounds ago.  People tend to look a little different after that drastic a weight loss, I'd say.

Anyway, eventually it went through and we left, and we ended up at a Salvation Army.  We didn't find what we were looking for but I did find some little seasonal decorations I liked, and my total came to $1.50.  The cashier we went to tried to send us to the other room to check out because she was taking her sweet time with a customer because they were having a personal conversation, so we went over there and THAT lady waved us back to the first one, because she was doing some special sort of ring-up for someone that was gonna take a while. 

Anyway, finally I was checking out with this lady and she told me that they don't take debit/check cards for under five bucks, but I could write a check.  I pulled out my book and started doing so, but then she looked at Jeaux and said, "You don't have a dollar fifty your friend could borrow?"  Huh?  And see, Jeaux is the kind of friend who doesn't even think about this stuff; he just immediately started digging in his pockets like there was nothing wrong with this.  I told him not to do that and I didn't want him paying for anything even if it was a buck fifty--I was writing a check, goddamn it. 

The lady was all like "Well it's such a small amount, writing a CHECK for a dollar fifty," and I told her I didn't have cash and I didn't want anyone else's charity--if I had the option of writing a check, I was going to do so.  There wasn't anyone behind me or anything, either.  Anyway, that finished and we left, and I got all mad about it.  I ranted to Jeaux about how *I* do cash register at my job all the time and I would never dream of doing that.  Like, if some couple came up and bought a lollipop and wrote a check for it, I wouldn't even think of butting in asking the husband, "Hey, you don't have some change you can give her?"  You don't hit people up to pay for things that aren't theirs. It just isn't your place.  I didn't get that at all.

And speaking of bad customer service, I heard that one of my co-workers was standing around talking and a smelly customer walked by.  She just blurted out, "WOOO, that guy SMELLED!"  The dude turned around and said like, "Excuse me?" and she replied, undaunted: "Haven't you ever heard of deodorant?"  This girl, I really wonder if she has Tourette's.  I have no idea what happened after that.


hahaha holy crap... I know that there was a lot more going on in this post than Smelly Man meets The Amazing Inhibition-Free Woman, but that's quality comedy right there. I mean, we all want to yell at stinkpots, but we don't do it! Oh yeah, I'm doing retail again, so I get to share in your pain once more. GET OFF MY HEAD

That's hysterical. Creepy costume guy. I think he was trying to justify his existence, rather than your potential purchase. One time when living in the dorms at UF, I got a bill from BellSouth (not the college phone co.) for 76 cents. I cent it to them in pennies, with not enough postage, and put my ex-boyfriend's return address on it. I just refused to write a check. so KUDOS [wunderkont]

Strange. I guess Ms. Salvation Army wouldn't want a webpage to rant about what she would like to say to smelly/rude customers. She lets it all out right there at the cash register. Poor smelly guy. [katqueen]

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