Hey, do you guys remember that I used to have this ass of a manager named Linda? Well, for those who didn't know her or don't remember, she was my manager for the better part of a year at the bookstore, and she was an alcoholic and you could tell. She was always sunburned and she had two modes: Slightly-Drunk-From-the-Night-Before Mode and Hangover Mode. Both modes involved her being extraordinarily nonsensical and mean, and both modes were fear-inspiring. She used to threaten to grab my braids and pull.
Little history here: She used to yell at me for doing things I hadn't done and then yell at me for not doing things that weren't my responsibility, and she would say one thing, then remember it differently and insist that she'd never said anything else. (Example: A co-worker, John, had been hired with guarantee of full-time hours, and then when he only got about fifteen hours a week, she indignantly denied that she had EVER told him he would be full time. He quit because right from the beginning he'd needed a full time job; I found it sickening that she would claim she hired him at part time when HE WOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN THE JOB if he hadn't been promised full.) Anyway, eventually after a long time of fucking up our store, she got transferred to the Ocala store (where Jeaux worked), and HE had to put up with her for about the same length of time. I still don't know why she was fired, but apparently the story is "they fired her for something they couldn't NOT fire her for."
So. Flash forward a couple years. Guess who came into my store unexpectedly the other day? Yeah, the bitch herself. She looked about the same, except she seemed very glad to see me. She asked who my manager was and I handed her off to Pat; Pat had known her too and greeted her with that "HEYY!" that everyone gets when they haven't seen each other in a while, regardless of whether they are happy to see each other. Anyway, later I asked Pat what Linda wanted, and she said it was nothing; she was just visiting. I asked what she was doing. Guess where she works now?
Haha! I couldn't have thought of a better job for her than working in a liquor store. "That's great," I said to Pat, "at least now she's in a job where she'll have product knowledge." When I later told Jeaux about it, he burst out laughing and asked me if the managers there weren't worried about their inventory--she might steal, ya know. She never did at our store, but those were BOOKS, and it wasn't like she reads. She drinks, though. Boy howdy, does she!
Got another rejection slip on a short story. "Thanks for sending your story 'No Longer Junior.' We regret that we can't use it. Now piss off." Sort of. Dammit. Not that I thought they'd publish me anyway. It was kind of a lark. Next!
I met Jeaux's work buddy, Mario. Mario's in a band and plays drums. We went to see him the other week and finally he got to meet me; as you can imagine, Jeaux mentions me a lot at work so Mario was curious to meet this chick. When we met up we chatted for a long time before it was his turn to go on, and later he reported to Jeaux that he knows he's seen me around town on my bike, and that I "used to be chubbier." Oh man. Thanks Mario! That's sort of a mixed blessing, that comment. I mean, on the one hand he's noticed just from a passing glance that I've lost weight, so I must have. But on the other hand . . . IS HE SAYING I WAS FAT? Grrrrrrrrrrr! He also said I'm very talkative and I cuss a lot. Ya think?
(Apparently little pixy girls are not supposed to cuss so much. It's disturbing to mortals when we look cute and innocent and then we open our mouths and say, "Oh yeah, this bitch was fucking with me, right? So I jammed my foot up her asshole! Fucking bitch!")
Yesterday a dude in a store said I look like Kira from The Dark Crystal. So that's like the sixth time I've heard that. Wahaha! I look like a muppet! I found a really cute picture of Kira recently. It looks sort of like me too. Hehe.
I'm sure glad the alchoholic is no longer your manager... I think that would tend to make life quite miserable. Stupid bitch. [Freder]
I get that whole "you're too...(insert either, square, cute or girly here)... to say the f-word!" alot. Ahem. I think not.
Well, whatever, Kira.
I like that name.
Well, maybe Linda will finally learn her alphabet. [katqueen]