Open Diary Entries

He's reinventing himself


I believe I mentioned the various Antics of Neil™ in other entries. Well, as a result of finding out that people at work don't like him, Neil has decided to try to reinvent himself, so despite the fact that it is not working, I am making an effort to be kind to him and to not judge him as harshly.

So on Sunday, it was still pouring rain when it was time to leave, and I resignedly began donning my poncho, when Stephen told me he'd take me home. I inquired about whether he had a way to transport my bike and he said he had a pickup truck. But then, always wanting to be the man of the hour, Neil said, "Oh, I can take her instead if you want." And Stephen just said, "Okay, cool. Neil will take you." Well, I couldn't exactly refuse when he'd just heard me accept Stephen's offer, so I was like, okay, cool, ride home; just have to hope Neil doesn't say anything inappropriate or annoying.

After he finished counting his cash drawer, I got in his car. He promptly began trying to make plans with me for that night. Urgh. "You want to get some food? I'm buying." I told him that I have way too many leftovers to go out for food now. His response. "Oh, really? Mind if I try some of whatever you've got?" Apparently "leftovers" had given him the impression that I'm trying my damnedest to get the food eaten before it goes bad, but I was like, okay, fine, I'll give him leftovers in return for him driving me home.

He didn't say anything remarkably odd during the time that we were eating. I had to do my E2 votes and he amused himself by looking at my old Animaniacs episode guide I wrote when I was in high school; some comment one of us had made had brought up Animaniacs and he mentioned that he used to be "obsessed." He thought he could call himself "obsessed" just because he'd seen every one. I felt compelled at that point to show him the meaning of obsession. So, he looked.

After I finished with E2 I just talked to him a little bit and we listened to some music, and then I had to kick him out because I had an editing project due and needed to get on it. During our conversation he only said one really weird thing ("You know, your skin; it reminds me of veal"), but he inadvertently made a comment that I later thought a lot about.

See, he looked at my Animaniacs book, and observed me singing, and commented on my cooking, and knows that I write, and then he wanted to know what that other binder was full of and I told him it was my book of shadows, so he peeked at that a little bit, and finally after all that he just looked at me and said, "You do so much."

I've been feeling inadequate lately because I never seem to get enough done. But this Nugget O' Truth by Neil has caused an epiphany. I don't get enough done because I do so much. How can I expect to live up to my own standards when there are so many things I consider important? I feel like a slacker because I haven't pursued all of my goals to the extent that I think I should, but what the hell? Work, sleep, social life, and ten billion freaking hobbies? Yeah. I feel a little better now.

Well, except for the fact that he made me read some article he wrote about how he feels homosexuality isn't a real sexual orientation but rather a phase of confusion on the path toward becoming mature.

I knew the guy creeped me out for a reason.


hup i feel gay all the time untill they tell me not touch ,anymore. [bale]

Wow. He has some really issues, doesn't he? It's really nice of you to be so tolerant :) [katqueen]

previous entry * open diary start * next entry