Open Diary Entries

Tender and mild

1/7/03

Well, for the last few days my houseguest was John the Flaming One. We had some fun, but he was out way too much to really get to hang out a lot. ::pout:: He has lots of people he had to go visit, and I was busy Saturday night anyway, creating yummables with Mike. It's funny, John looks and acts pretty much the same as when he lived with me. Paces while he's on the phone and talks loud enough for my neighbors to hear (if they could stop having sex for a moment and listen). Still has his famous laugh. Still rivals me for most disgusting insults (which is frightening considering some of the barrels of foul language I have scraped for my vocabulary).

He left yesterday, and left a little remnant of himself behind. (No, not shaving bits in the sink or a used condom. Decorum, people!) He left behind his cell phone charger. Oh no! Now The Fag's phone will be dead and no one will be able to electronically absorb his gayness! I'm sure he is crushed. He called me yesterday and asked me to have it Express mailed to him. I did that today. When I got back from the long cold bike ride I was hungry.

So, I ate some peas. They had been frozen for too long because I tend to be reluctant to eat my veggies unless they have been unnaturally tainted by Morningstar Farms to taste less like soybeans and more like chicken. As I was beating the shit out of the package to try to separate the iceberg of peas into manageable, microwaveable chunks, I noticed the writing on the wrapper.

Baby Sweet Peas, it said. Tender and Mild.

What the hell? Now I'm eating baby Jesus?

Anyway, hopefully tomorrow me and Jeaux are going to be what we refer to as "all submitty." Which is also not filthy, you vile beasts. It means we are planning to submit short stories to magazines in hopes of being validated as writers. No, we're not concerned with makin' the bling-bling, y'all. We just want to be published, dammit. Not that we've tried very hard. But at least this time we've done our homework.

I'm submitting a short story called "The Curse." It's pretty good. I hope the editors think so too.

Notes:

Hey Ju-lo you should get a stand-alone AOL Instant Messenger with a new screenname that you would use just to talk to your best best friends like me and oh I guess Meghan and Jeaux. I miss talking to you ;__; <---- THAT'S ME CRYING MY EYES OUT OF MY HEART THANKS TO YOU Love <3<3 Ian ^__^

Yes that lovely Fag - I remember once laughing with John and we were so loud is clapper kept going off and the lights were blinking on and off - this caused a vicious cycle which lasted some time but - ah, good times. [wunderkont]

Did it get published? I'll just have to wait and see, shall I? Amusing entry today :D Tender and Mild? BWAHAHAHA! [katqueen]

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