Anonymous: Sexuality is part of your personal feelings.I wonder if you love yourself, or have any desire to masterbate. If not you are what you are and you should be proud of it.

[Note from swankivy: I think I just finished doing a WHOLE RANT on crap like people getting the wrong idea because I don't wanna have sex--do I LOVE myself? Does this website suggest low self-esteem? Some people think I'm downright narcissistic. Believe me, I have no shortage of love for myself.

Carl: A Salon article led me to your Rant. Thanks for sharing your orientation toward sexuality. I've learned something new today. Carl

Kim: Unlike other people you have come across, I feel the need to say "good for you!" In a day and age where it is expected that sex is a part of your relationships, you stand fast in your convictions. You don't want sex, and that is great for you. If only we could talk the teenagers of today into that line of thinking... especially mine when they get about 14. LOL I got a good laugh from your reactions. Thanks for that!

Jed Eustace: Frankly speaking, I find your position perfectly logical and understandable. We all tend to be swept along by expectations and behaviors not of our making but if any rational person, like you, were to step back and take a good look at what we do and how we are programmed to act and react, then I am sure that many more people would think like you. I have long felt that life would be vastly different, more centered on things that truly matter, if the sex drive did not exist with all the myths and illusions we adorn it with. Just be true to yourself.

Luis: wow, I am shocked, never thought that people could live without sex at that age. I guess if you are happy that way that is what matters. Who cares what others think. You sound like a very smart girl and certainly you know what you want in life. Keep it up and don't let anybody bring you down.

Cheers
Luis

Annonymous: Thanks for the site which I liked. I wanted to ask whether you wanted to have kids. I don't know if you've had sex, but if you find kissing yucky, I guess sex won't be much fun.

[Note from swankivy: I don't think I'm going to have kids; I don't really want a family. I'll just be a weird old aunt to my sisters' kids when/if they have any. Thanks for the input, "Ann"!]

daniel faulk: I found your site by trying to read an article on Slate about people who are asexual. Asexual is not anti sexual, it is just a disinterest in sex. Like you I am more interested in the mental relationship than the physical relationship. For the past two years I have been overtly celibate. People do not understand. What is wonderful about being celibate is that I have the opportunity to have conversations with women that are not leading anywhere, there is no agenda, I am not trying to get them into bed. Women are starting to understand that I am asexual and they have a variety of reactions which are similar to the reactions that you have mentioned that come from men. Mostly, however, women just do not believe that a man can be indifferent to sex. Perhaps unlike you, I don't know for sure, I do miss the intimacy of cuddling with a woman, but what annoys me is that a woman can't just accept that, it has to lead to sex, it has to go somewhere. I have been very honest a bout my disinterest in sex with women when I have in the past " dated" but they do not seem to believe me and if the relationship evolves they get miffed, angry, or hostil if I do not fulfill my male function as a dick. Nice to find your web site. Makes me feel less alone.

DrB: As a psychiatrist, I have seen this. In training we were taught some of the stupid reactions you have encountered, trauma, repression etc.
In my experience it means exactly what you said, nothing. It just is what it is. There is a spectrum of sexual interest. Some people are more interested and some people less interested. If there is none, it is neither gay nor straight. I have seen people with every different psych disorder who are like this. That tells me that it is NOT related to psych problems. Be who you are, forgive those with less understanding or tolerance. Best wishes

DrB

Stephie: hey haha thats f*ckin hilarious people are really unintelligent and in what ways does it effect them, what you choose or not choose to do with or without a man or woman. i was reading the ims you've gotten and oh wow people are amazing. i think i was expecting you to be bitter and jump down their throat imediately without listening but no you were rather witty. :) go you! you can do whatever you want who cares what stupid people think about it...