Here are the similes and metaphors that I thought were just too much. I believe that every single one of these was unnecessary, but truthfully, some of them would be fine if he just wasn't doing it SO MUCH. My purpose in pointing this out is to explain that comparing every image to some other image is not only unnecessary but DISTRACTING, and when such an image actually does help enhance what we're supposed to be seeing, we're already desensitized. Paolini needs to scale his use of similes and metaphors back by at least 90%, as in, if he used a TENTH as many similes and metaphors he'd still be kind of a flowery writer, but not overwhelmingly so. I am not against descriptive writing. I am against overdescription to the point of kicking you in the face with an adjective-laden boot.

This list is MUCH longer than the one I compiled for Brisingr because I was so unbelievably fed up by this point that I just had no tolerance. Feel my wrath, similes! Curse the day you were born, metaphors! RAWWRRR!

• Their scales were like gems
• spinning upward like coins bounced off a drum
• without my sword flaring up like a bonfire
• the chips of glass flowed like water
• landed on the rider like a panther pouncing on a deer
• crushing limbs and torsos like dry twigs
• like a whisper of wind ghosting through a stand of willow trees
• we would fall before him like dry leaves before a winter storm
• the dragons' blood rained from the sky like a summer downpour
• sound was stabbing, slicing, shivering, like metal scraping against stone
• With a sound like rustling silk, the thick gray dust parted
• bounding from point to point like a mountain goat scaling the side of a gorge
• staggered back and forth across the corridor like a pair of drunk dancers
• The wind from Eragon's passage tore at the flames on the blade, stretching them out behind the sword like the mane of a galloping horse
• He bellowed like a wounded bear
• struck the man on his helm, which rang like an iron pot
• combat exhilarated Eragon; it felt to him like being shocked with a bucket of cold water
• thunder rumbled like an angry beast
• scars, thin and white, marked his nut-brown skin, like scratches on a well-used table
• motion created a gust of near-silent wind that spread out like ripples in a pond
• the thick layer of smoke that hung over Belatona like a blanket of hurt, anger, and sorrow
• dirt began to seethe like water coming to a boil
• The large, jewel-like stone glittered darkly, like a dying ember
• hunching his shoulders like a vulture
• Her neck was arched like a drawn bow, the tip of her tail twitched as if she were hunting
• it spread out along the horizon, like a giant yolk oozing free of its skin
• the fingers were as hard, smooth, and shiny as polished tortoise shells
• forcing him to stand hunched over, like a cripple
• her small pink tongue was visible; it lay like a soft, moist slug
• musty aroma clung to the girl, like the smell of a forest floor on a warm summer day
• the sound of his voice spreading through the tent like warmth from a fire
• The smith stiffened and pushed his jaw out like a bulldog's
• like a whisper of wind, half heard, half forgotten
• his abdomen was cramped as hard as a stone
• standing hunched like an old man
• The pounding of the horse's hooves rolled through him like thunder
• As he topped a small hill, which stood like a lone island amid the sea of tents
• he returned to the same set of doubts, worrying at them like a dog with a marrow bone
• looks as if it has been nibbled at, like a turnip
• his voice sounding like the rumble of falling rock
• a rough orb of sea-green crystal, which twinkled like crusted snow
• lowered his head and snorted like a bull
• sparkling like a mound of azure coals in the dim light of the torches
• a strategy that would allow him to crack open the city like a ripe gourd
• his bare upper lip curling like a snake
• the distant spike of rock, which rose from the surrounding landscape like a single jagged tooth
• we shall sweep you aside like so much chaff
• an enormous black war-horse, which was heaving like a pair of bellows
• the line of tension within him thrummed like a plucked lute string
• The mouth of the archway that led to the gate loomed large before them, like the entrance to a cave
• they veered to the right and skittered across the blackened walls, like giant angry wasps
• devouring the fine powder with rapacious greed and producing a sound like a hundred flags flapping in a high wind
• which seemed to press against Roran like a thick, heavy blanket made of the most unpleasant substance he could imagine
• the plume of dancing water, which glittered like handfuls of diamonds tossed into the air
• its smoking limbs clenched tight, like those of a dead spider
• it dissolved into a fine gray dust, which sifted downward in gauzy curtains and lay floating atop the water below, like ashes from a forest fire
• the mirror shimmered like a rippling pool of quicksilver
• framed in the mirror like a portrait
• releasing a cloud of smoke that drifted out over the water like a small, lost thundercloud
• felt warm and smooth, like the belly of a calf
• the bags under her eyes like small, sad smiles
• if I were to fuss over them like a mother hen
• circled each other with short, smooth steps, moving like dancers over the uneven ground
• Trying to outmatch a Shade is like trying to fly higher than the sun
• clouds of anger gathered within Glaedr, like massive thunderheads building on the horizon
• he felt as if the fabric of his being might split asunder, like a sail caught in the wind
• her mental voice cut through Glaedr's churning emotions like a knife through water
• His welts and bruises flared with renewed pain, making him feel like an arthritic old man
• The strain broke like a glass rod snapping in two
• their bodies twisting through the air like twin columns of smoke
• Time gushes between our teeth like water
• her face appeared to float against a featureless black background, like an apparition conjured out of the night
• the sheathed sword did not burst into flame; it wavered, like a reflection in water
• Eragon heard a sound like wind rushing across a lonely plain
• Wherever you go, enemies flock to you like flies to flesh
• The flameless orbs floated over their heads like small red suns
• Eragon had to hunch like an old man with rheumatism
• The passageway smelled like damp straw and moth wings
• The gloom seemed almost palpable, like a heavy cloth draped over the world
• two large eyes gleaming in the shadows, like a pair of copper-colored moonstones
• sometimes landing on the nape of Eragon's neck and rolling down his spine, like the touch of a cold finger
• The now-familiar cadence of her recitation rose and fell like a soft sigh of wind.
• Its carapace gleamed like oil
• when the shards struck the ground, they tinkled like ice
• His thoughts felt thick and slow, as if he were drunk with exhaustion
• They burned like fire
• with eyes like chips of obsidian
• Dread crept through Eragon like a sickness
• a fragment as large as his hand fell from the egg and clattered against the floor, like a plate made of fired clay
• the resulting high-pitched note that pierced the darkened chamber like a ray of sunshine
• a flicker of movement appeared next to each man: a soft, shadowy blur, like the motion of a windblown pennant seen at the edge of his vision
• their faces upturned and their mouths opened in song, like so many hatchlings begging for food
• Eragon felt their minds clawing at his, like a pack of wolves tearing at a weakened deer
• The man struggled to evade their grasp, like a fish wriggling through their fingers
• The rippling flames sounded like branches snapping in a storm
• The blade flashed white-hot and vanished with a sound like a far-off thunderclap
• she heard him shout a spell at her, his voice like the squeaking of a frightened mouse
• The sound of the spire smashing to pieces echoed across the whole of the rat-nest-city, like a clap of rolling thunder
• His wings were crumpled like those of a stepped-on butterfly
• the cool morning-air-off-water howled like a wounded wolf in Saphira's ears
• Thorn stirred, like some great cat that had been sunning itself on a fence
• a column of dust billowed toward the clouds above, like a pillar of white smoke
• Blood trailed from the tip in long, twisting ribbons that slowly separated into glistening drops, like orbs of polished coral
• Every detail seemed bright and hard-edged, as if sculpted from glass
• Her wings were pulled tight against her body, and they fluttered like leaves in a gale
• Murtagh's voice boomed out of the sky, like the voice of a cloud-scraping giant
• Like a dark thunderhead caught in a gale, the plume drifted to the right
• Broken paving stones edged the hollow, like a circle of shattered teeth
• the acorn, which took root and sprouted and grew twining upward, reaching and grasping toward the sky like a clutch of hands
• It was as if the melody had sprung out of the blackness of the night itself, like a wind, lonely and forsaken
• the flames swam before him like fish
• there emerged Thorn, red as blood and glittering like a million shifting stars
• The red dragon spun slightly as he drifted downward, like a large, weighted leaf
• she grabbed hold of Thorn's tail and hung dangling from it like an ornament
• an overwhelming sense of dread clutched at Eragon, pressing down on him like a pile of sodden fleeces
• gnawing at his mind like a host of rats
• Eragon shivered; it felt as if spiders made of ice crystals were crawling up and down his spine
• the dragon's consciousness seemed to surround Solembum's, pressing inward like piles of black clouds around a brightly burning but wind-battered flame
• Solembum spat out his mouthful of meat and sprang backward, as if he had stepped on a viper
• but not so bold as to dispel the shadows that clung like gauze
• Her pulse hammered in her ears, like a maddened drumbeat
• her hands and feet felt as if they were filled with molten tallow
• she could feel the muscles of the man's forearm flexing like so many trapped snakes trying to escape
• His limbs were like iron beneath her blows
• His bulbous forehead gleamed like polished ivory
• putting each morsel of food into her mouth as carefully as if it were a hollow orb of glass that might shatter at any sudden movement
• the skin was as smooth and pink as a suckling pig's
• The tops of the nails had been polished until they shone like glazed pottery
• the tinder glowed like a ball of red-hot wires
• The man bent, puckered his lips, and blew on the incipient fire, gentle as a mother kissing her child
• Like lodestones, the bright coals drew her gaze
• his words seemed to wash over her like warm waves of water
• His words struck her like hammerblows
• several glittering embers fell spiraling toward the floor like pine seeds from their cones
• The rod descended toward her, the tip like a giant, sparkling ruby
• the stony, snowcapped peaks loomed before them like the broken battlements of a castle wall
• he thought the mountains looked like so many molars erupting from the brown gums of the earth
• A single spot of firelight shone through a gap in the branches, like a tiny chip of gold embedded within the layers of black needles
• the land looked as if it were made out of pewter
• only held us and slowed us, like honey poured over our bodies and minds
• a bright yellow spot appeared for a second, like a great eye glaring at him
• the waves that crashed into it were gray and black and seemed angry, as if the ocean were trying to devour the land with each breaker it sent forth
• she caught a sharp gleam from his eye, as from a lantern set deep within a cave
• the lines of his body like cords stretched taut
• illuminating the crests of the translucent waves—which glittered as if carved from crystal
• Eragon looked into its one upward-facing eye, which was as black as a drop of tar
• with curtains of driving rain connecting the storm with the sea like a gauzy umbilical cord
• she went straight through, piercing the cloud like a glittering blue spear
• she sparkled as if diamonds had been affixed to her already dazzling scales
• the mist froze into countless tiny crystals that stung his nose and cheeks and the webbing of Saphira's wings like so many razor-sharp knives
• a second updraft seized hold of her and, like a giant hand, pushed her skyward
• she continued to rise and fall in the cycling air, like a piece of flotsam caught in a whirlpool
• glaring with the brightness of a dozen suns
• illuminating a small area of the surrounding ice crystals, which glittered like gems
• will crack like a piece of hot glass dropped in snow
• thrown skyward with such speed, they flamed like siege arrows
• they lay strewn upon the firmament like handfuls of sparkling dust
• suspended between the stars and the earth, floating in the silent twilight like dispossessed spirits
• his anger, which lay at the center of his being like a cold black heart
• trees blanketed the sides of the mountains as well as the foothills below, like an army of prickly soldiers marching down from the peaks
• the white haze rolling off the tips of her wings like tiny whirlpools set within the sky
• Her consciousness was like a flame that had dimmed until it was little more than a smoldering coal
• The moss and lichen that trailed from the branches were like lengths of tattered lace
• it seemed to him as if darkness clung to the trees, like a cloak wrapped around their trunks and branches
• their eyes increased in brightness until they were like pieces of white-hot iron
• The snail's shell cracked between her fangs with a sound like breaking slate
• The words fell between them like weighty stones
• the ragged ends of the sleeves snapping like whips
• with teeth that cut and stabbed and burned like ice
• she had heard a growl like that of a mountain-sized dragon
• It gleamed like a sheet of polished ice
• the inside of Eragon's mind seemed to ring with a sound like a bell
• the tips of Saphira's scales gleamed with an inner light, and she looked as if she were made of stars
• the snalglí's exposed flesh gleamed like silver
• a cluster of stars—red, blue, and white—shone through an opening in the clouds, gleaming like cut diamonds
• he could see the faint, glowing lights of the bullfrogs' lures, like lanterns viewed from a great distance
• Three warped shadows flew across the city—like small, moving rifts in reality
• ghosted away to the west, making no more noise than a falling feather
• The man was made of metal, and he gleamed like polished steel
• and his vision fragmented, as if he were seeing the chamber through the facets of a jewel
• they all pulsed with a soft inner glow, like coals smoldering in a dying campfire
• The thick yellow liquid bubbled and splattered like a pot of boiling glue
• He is like a badger who has retreated into his den and who will bloody the nose of anyone who tries to dig him out
• the center of the blossom was like a drop of blood
• he unfurled his massive wings, and their opening was like a hundred black sails filling with wind
• if Shruikan flies out again, they will scatter like so many frightened mice
• she was as insubstantial as a rainbow
• he saw four bodies tumble over the side; they looked like understuffed dolls as they plummeted toward the ground
• the bones snapping like stalks of dry grass
• Like a ruby blade dropped from above, Thorn plunged out of an opening
• the apparition of Saphira hopped above the rooftops and, like a bird with an injured wing, fluttered a short distance
• their arrows stuck in the ground in front of them, like tufts of white-topped reeds
• molten metal poured out from underneath the blade and skittered across the paved ground like grease on a hot pan
• the warriors' figures seemed like a pack of shuffling beasts
• wheels of which were over twenty feet high and creaked like a set of rusty hinges
• the elves began to move toward it, like a procession of statues gliding across ice
• swords and spears bounced off him as if he were made of stone
• breaking his horns and skull as easily as an eggshell
• A wreath of different colors flickered around Barst, like a nimbus of tattered rainbows
• the mace crushed the elves as if their bones were as thin and hollow as those of birds
• His eyes were hard as stones
• he had a close-cropped beard and mustache, which, like his clothes, were black as pitch
• the gem within the pommel was as clear as a mountain spring
• Its color--or rather its lack of color--reminded him of a sun-bleached bone
• every part of his being seemed to thrum in response, as if he were an instrument upon which a bard had struck a chord
• subduing any one of them was like trying to hold down a rabid wolf
• Galbatorix had captured them as easily as he might a litter of newborn kittens
• His iris was a pale blue white, the color of a high mountain glacier
• filling the chamber with a rumble like that of a rockslide
• Shruikan's eye remained fixed on Eragon and those with him, like a great ice-blue lantern
• the words lay in his mind like a handful of dead leaves
• Then, like quicksilver, his mood changed
• striding among the humans, elves, and dwarves and dashing them aside like so many ninepins
• her shining armor as bright as a star
• soldiers followed, pouring into the street like a swarm of red ants
• It felt as if someone had jabbed him with a large iron bar
• He felt as if every part of himself had been beaten soundly with a wooden mallet and then a pair of clumsy men had used him as a target for knife throwing
• they parted before Roran like water before the prow of a ship
• The sixth missed and went bouncing across the square like a rock across water
• the tip bent and snapped as if it had struck a block of granite
• broke it between his fingers as easily as Roran might break a dry twig
• Again the elbow, like an anvil pounding into his side
• His mind was like a pool of deep water on a breathless day
• There was a sound like that of a high summer wind stirring the branches of an evergreen forest
• The cords in Galbatorix's neck stood out like a skein of twisted rope
• the edges of his teeth translucent, like fired clay.
• He grabbed Eragon's chin with fingers of steel
• Their swords rang like bells
• like a shadow flitting through a forest, Eragon saw Arya dart out
• the spots of color on his cheeks, which appeared even brighter and redder than before, like daubs of paint on the skin of a corpse
• Roran saw the bones within the archer's neck and head, his flesh like a red gooseberry held before a candle
• The incandescent stone pulsed like living flesh
• the smoke glowed with the reddish-orange color of a fire opal
• her eyes solemn and—in the sideways light—bright and fierce, like emeralds cut in a rayed pattern
• The sound of his voice was like stones grinding against one another deep underground
• The gray and black humps of great sea-fish often breached the waves, like small, leathery islands
• she had a grip like iron
• he saw a wink of green fire, like an emerald glimmering in the sun
• bright as a star at night
• the emptiness he had labored under for so long vanished like the darkness of night before the rising sun
• the dragon blinked once, with a small, sharp sound like a shell bouncing against a stone
• He looked proud and full of energy, like a stag in fall
• Like ice-cold water that tingled and snapped
• Then over the Spine, the peaks like blades of ice and snow, and the rifts between them like rivers of shadow
• the Bay of Fundor, which was scalloped with lines of foam-crested waves, like so many rolling mountains
• Sloan stiffened, as if touched with a red-hot brand
• Sloan's new eyes were blue as the noonday sky
• a daunting expanse broken only by the river itself, which lay upon the land like a strip of hammered metal