Conversation with Phunk

Categories: Unwanted Advances

Phunk: hey what can we do for fun?

SwankiVY2: Well. For fun, I usually write novels, or share interesting stories.

Phunk: what about fun on a one on one basis?

Phunk: by the way...i'm eric

Phunk: you there?

SwankiVY2: I'm here.

SwankiVY2: Fun on a one on one basis IS telling stories. What's NOT one on one about that?

Phunk: i was thinking something more personal

SwankiVY2: Personal? Why don't you quit beating around the bush, kid?

Phunk: lol....what's your name?

SwankiVY2: Ivy.

SwankiVY2: whatcha laughing at, eric?

Phunk: nothing...that's a pretty name

Phunk: oh...the beating around the bush thing

SwankiVY2: Thank you. :) I thought so too. :)

Phunk: what do you look like?

SwankiVY2: So what DO you want? You seem to be hinting at that little thing AOLers are sooo famous and respected for:

SwankiVY2: ie, I say sexy things and you whack off. What's up with that?

Phunk: i don't cyber

SwankiVY2: hehe

Phunk: we don't have to cyber...i mean...we're both in gainesville

SwankiVY2: Then, what do you mean by getting personal with someone you're not even FAMILIAR with yet?

SwankiVY2: Scuse me?

Phunk: what do you look like?

SwankiVY2: what 'zackly are you suggesting?

SwankiVY2: I'm not going to tell you what I look like. You'd have no idea if I was lying.

Phunk: i believe you...just tell me the truth

SwankiVY2: Well, I'm 4'11", three foot blonde hair, blue eyes. Doesn't mean I want to do anything intimate with someone who I've known of for five minutes.

SwankiVY2: What's your deal, dude?

Phunk: thought maybe you were a wild and adventuropus person

SwankiVY2: I am.

SwankiVY2: But why would I need to prove it to you in the way YOU wish I would?

Phunk: so give me a chance

Phunk: let's meet

SwankiVY2: Hm. Can I say something first?

Phunk: sure

SwankiVY2: The fact that you asked me what I looked like before you asked me what I was interested in makes me believe you are more interested in my body than anything else.

SwankiVY2: Therefore, I don't think it would be very nice of me to let you meet me, since chances are you'd be quite disappointed. . . .

SwankiVY2: Since I'm a nonsexual person.

Phunk: not true...just wanna be able to picture whoi i'm talking to

Phunk: i asked you what you like to do for fun

SwankiVY2: No, you asked me if I wanted to have some.

SwankiVY2: It sounds like a cybersex line, truthfully.

SwankiVY2: I know you said you don't cyber. . . .

SwankiVY2: and I believe you. . . .

SwankiVY2: But. . . .

Phunk: then i asked what you do for said i write novels or tell short stories

SwankiVY2: You probably found me by searching member directory for single female gainesville.

SwankiVY2: I volunteered that info ya know.

SwankiVY2: You said "what can WE do for fun.":

SwankiVY2: And when I said what *I* do, you requested something more personal.

Phunk: i was just hoping you and i could maybe get together and have some fun...not a one night thing either...i also would like to be a friend

SwankiVY2: So . . . if we were to meet . . . what would you want?

SwankiVY2: I'm cool with friends. But . . . you've got to understand the OVERWHELMING number of guys who say the same thing that aren't serious.

Phunk: well if you're as pretty as i picture i would love for you to tell me one of your stories while i look into your eyes and kiss your soft lips

[I just have to interject here . . . how the HELL am I gonna tell him stories with his tongue down my throat? Yuck!]

SwankiVY2: Being that you brought out the idea of meeting so quickly, I can't see any difference in you . . . the only thing I know about you is you're local and your name is eric.

Phunk: everything i'm telling you tonight i mean seriously

Phunk: what do you wanna know?

SwankiVY2: Hm. What if my lips were really chapped and I gave you trench mouth when you kissed me, lol!

Phunk: you do sound beautiful

SwankiVY2: And are ya listening to me? I said I'm nonsexual . . . so why would you want to kiss me if I didn't want you to?

Phunk: i could deal with that:)

Phunk: why are you nonsexual?

SwankiVY2: I have been told I was pretty. And I believe I am attractive. It's been a problem as of late.

Phunk: why's that?

SwankiVY2: first I'll make it clear that it wasn't a "choice," and secondly, I don't know why. I just never had a sexual attraction for anyone.

SwankiVY2: Why's it been a problem?

Phunk: why don't you ever give it a chance?

SwankiVY2: It's been a problem because people think beauty is a signal for sex.

SwankiVY2: I have given it a chance. I still didn't feel any sexual attraction.

Phunk: i think sex can be a signal for beauty

SwankiVY2: I don't understand that. . . .

SwankiVY2: I think sex is the EXPRESSION of a love between people; a reaction on the physical level of love.

Phunk: sex can be a beautiful thing

SwankiVY2: Of course it's beautiful!

Phunk: but it can be more than physical

SwankiVY2: It better be.

Phunk: so can you give me a chance?

SwankiVY2: Well, for what?

Phunk: well first of all i don't wanna have sex with you

SwankiVY2: But you do want to "kiss my soft lips"?

Phunk: and maybe more:)

SwankiVY2: Well, I'm not interested in that. If all you wanted was a friendship I'd be delighted, but when people expect more right from the beginning I simply can't handle it.

Phunk: i want both

SwankiVY2: I believe love grows out of friendship, and then maybe sexual attraction.

Phunk: why can't you give it a try

SwankiVY2: give WHAT a try/

SwankiVY2: / = ?

Phunk: us being friends and doing other things

SwankiVY2: No. I'm not going to give you a chance for that if you want "something more" before you even meet me.

Phunk: you never have urges?

SwankiVY2: I'm extremely open-minded about people, but when others have premature expectations from me I simply will not tolerate it.

SwankiVY2: No, I don't have urges. I'm abnormal.

SwankiVY2: Odd that you didn't ask me how old I was.

SwankiVY2: That's usually first.

Phunk: why do you think you are?

Phunk: how old are you?

SwankiVY2: Why do I think I am what?

SwankiVY2: I'm nineteen.

Phunk: so am i

Phunk: abnormal?

SwankiVY2: *shrug*

SwankiVY2: I'm abnormal because most people respond to urges and I either don't have them or can't sense them.

Phunk: ok

[Weirdly enough, in the middle of this fascinating conversation, he logged off. Perhaps he figured out he wouldn’t be able to talk me into anything and left before I bored him more. *shrug* His loss!]

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Comments from others:

Mikey: Phunk this guy is a another runner up for asshole of the year, what a complete putz he should have to walk around with a sign over his head to allow all petting zoo personnel know that he can't be trusted with animals, I also think that this limited brain potential is a good indication that he got robbed the best part of him ended up a shit stain on the mattress.

Dylan: Well, I shall give credit to this guy for being a little more shady with his work at first, but i'm glad you saw through it. It can't get more blunt then what you said earlier, [I just have to interject here . . . how the HELL am I gonna tell him stories with his tongue down my throat? Yuck!] I don't think you could have hit the nail on the head any better! Jeez. Well, do you post your stories on your site? I think I might give them a look through, (and as an artist, not an exceptional one, but an artist at that, i must comment on your drawings and sketches, and you certainly must have put a lot of time into them, 'cause it certainly shows. :) )

Chris: Give this guy a break, compared to most of the wankers here he was quite respectful. Yes, he was thinking of hte usual but at least he asked a bit about you before reverting to insults at the first sign of you not wanting him.

swankivy: Wait, what? He opened with "what can we do for fun?" and you think he was being respectful and trying to get to know me? Make excuses for people who are behaving in unacceptable ways just because they're not quite as disgusting as some of the others have been, why don't ya.

stephanie: they just keep getting more dense, don't they? wow!!! i'm so glad i'm asexual. i can avoid this sort of mind numbing, idiotic bullshit from everyone - well for the most part, anyway.

R.: "[I just have to interject here . . . how the HELL am I gonna tell him stories with his tongue down my throat? Yuck!]"

haha this comment you made was so funny. you'd be speaking in tongue! :)

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