My Record of Work: The Annoying, the Interesting, and the Just Plain Weird--The Year 2001.

9/30/01

Speaking of jackasses, how 'bout this lady? How many asshole things can a person do in one transaction? Okay, first she wanted me to show her where we had sports sale books, so I showed her, and she said she'd come from the other side of the store and that was why she didn't see the giant sign that said "sports." She said it must say something else on the other side. I turned it around and revealed that it did indeed say "sports" on both sides. But that is honestly a mistake anyone could make (even though most would not try to make up "I'm not a jackass, really I'm not" excuses). Next was another minor thing--she claimed we didn't have much Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. She hadn't even been in the section where we store all of it, where we have four bookshelves packed full. She had me ring up the stuff she was buying, then had me show her where the REST of the Thomas the Tank Engine stuff was, and then took her sweet time so I had to void out her sale and ring up other people.

When she got to the register, she thought I was trying to rip her off and scan her merchandise twice: "HEY, you already scanned that stuff!" Of course, the world's on hold for you, lady. She realized she had two sheets of stickers sticking together and only wanted to buy one sticker sheet, so she left one on the counter and I rang up the other one. Then she insisted I hadn't scanned her discount card, and I had, and she thought then that it was too much money and I must've made a mistake. I didn't. Then as she was leaving, she saw the stickers she hadn't wanted laying on the counter and thought they were the stickers she bought and picked them up and held them, looking at me with a pointed look like "look you tried to rip me off," and informed me that I'd forgotten to put them in her bag. I reminded her that they were the stickers she'd discarded, and she was like OH and put them down again. I have seldom dealt with that many jackass issues.

9/29/01

Some jerk thought that because I couldn't find his name on the discount card list, it meant he was also not entitled to use his credit card in the store. Some people are such jerks.

9/17/01

People need to learn to listen. I had one guy who wouldn't let go of his newspaper to let me scan it after I told him I needed to scan it (he just said "It's a New York Times" as if I couldn't see that), and then some other lady kept ignoring my explanation of how the discount on the book she bought worked. I was trying to explain it to her but she kept cutting me off trying to show me how she didn't get it, and wouldn't listen. "Okay, here on the receipt it says you got 17 percent--" "IT SAYS 25 PERCENT WITH DISCOUNT CARD AND I GAVE YOU MY DISCOUNT CARD!" "Yes, exactly. It rings up as 17 percent and then after I scan the card you get an additional--" "IT ONLY SAYS I GOT 17 PERCENT ON THE RECEIPT!" "Yes, but on the bottom it says you got an additional 10 percent off your entire purchase--" "WHY DOES IT ONLY SAY 17 PERCENT? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE 25!" Oh brother.

9/15/01

In the back room today, two of the managers and I got pissed off and kicked a huge pile of boxes down. It was therapeutic.

9/12/01

Whiny people were annoyed when we sold out of the New York Times in light of the weird terrorist bullshit yesterday. We were sold out by about 10:30, though we got 80 copies. And then some random teacher lady wandered in when it was almost 1:00, and began to chew out the manager lady because she couldn't get a newspaper. She was like, "Do you REALIZE what happened?" and "I simply cannot believe you are out! You should have a stack THIS HIGH!" Our manager just told her we got 80 copies and that the entire city was out of them, and she supposed they were reprinting but there was no guarantee, and the lady was like, "Well, what are you as a manager going to do about this situation?" There was nothing she COULD do, she explained, but she offered to call a few other stores for the jerk, making it look like a favor to her but really doing it to prove that our shortage wasn't just us being irresponsible; the demand was simply higher than the supply. The lady left in a huff after she could not be satisfied, and then the manager came to me and asked if I overheard. I said yes, because I had been standing in the Kids' section, which was right next to Christian Living, where the altercation took place. The manager said at that time, "Yes, we were standing right there in Christian Living, weren't we . . . I think it's 'Christian Living' that I didn't KICK her!" HAH. Right on.

9/10/01

Some lady at the register refused to remove her earphones while checking out. She couldn't hear what I was saying and kept shouting "WHAT??" What the hell is wrong with these people? Why didn't she just turn her earphones off for the SHORT time it would take to make her purchase? Some people.

Also some ass who was standing at Customer Service didn't see anyone and then just started yelling "LITTLE HELP! LITTLE HELP!" Okay. Even though I was not supposed to be running Customer Service, I went up there and helped, and there were two people standing there filling out comment cards about our store sucking because someone wasn't there immediately. I swear, patience is something our society no longer has--maybe that's why I'm always treated so nicely and almost with surprise when I am patient.

9/3/01

A lady came up and asked me who wrote the Amelia Bedelia books, and I should have known off the top of my head because I'm the Kids' Department Head, but for some reason I was blanking, and I just looked at her and said, "I think it's . . . Burnette?" She looked surprised, and she said, "No, I'm fairly sure it couldn't be Burnette. That's MY last name. I would have remembered that." Turned out it was Peggy Parish. 'Kay.