Reviewed by: Lenora
I really loved it! The lunchbox line was a bit cheesy but then you pulled it right back in. You brought them both together nicely at the end.
Reviewed by: Mikey
This was another sample of the true depth of your writing, it truly surprised me. I had no way of knowing of what to expect. What I found was a story designed to pull my heart strings. in so many ways. My first tears were light and the second so deep so felt you capture the emotion so well in your words I could feel the pain of loss and separation. it brought many emotions to the surface a wonderful piece of art. Like I told you in many ways you have passed authors like Poe and Hemmingway in my eyes. you are one of the four authors that have been able to reach deep into my core and bring forth such emotion. And that is no small task. for anyone. You are AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would give this fine piece a perfect seven star review and again the five star rating will not do , Mother, The Curse. Bloom , all great beyond any words I could say Final verse, and Goodbye, Grace are also sitting high on my list as wonderful pieces of literature. I wish I could say more of Mother but there is so much in the words and emotion. I am in awe, truly Awesome.
Reviewed by: Dan M.
Here's my opinion...
Now we are talking! This was great! I loved how well you described how it felt to be on this planet, the story line, the ending , everything. This was the full package right here!
If I were "Simon" On American Idol , I would have said , "Well Done, You did your thing!"
Ok so now that the celebration is over a review is never complete without any type of suggestion.
So I only have one. I reread it and I will just have to say I didn't find anything I would change. I thought there was a bit of repetitveness at the start when she was expressing how much she missed Earth , I thought, "yeah I get it you miss Earth."
But after a second read I didnt feel any flaw with it.
So overall, I would say this is a fabulous short story, intersting, short, and almost poetic and very visual.
Hey, this kid has got something!
Now I need another one!
Reviewed by: blink
this story touches me. the dual mother theme running throughout, the consciousness of separation from "mother," it's all so beautifully expressed. and it's a topic almost everyone can relate to, being far away from someone or something.
i love the way the woman's feelings towards Earth and the man's for his mother parallel each other, and the format for the story really accentuates that. although some sentences are awkward, overall the story flows, much like the water both people miss so much.
it also makes you think and appreciate what you have :) la!
Reviewed by: The Author Herself
I have no idea if other people feel what I was trying to get across here. Sometimes if someone dear to you is in another city, state, or country, you can feel the distance between you, especially if you haven't spoken in a while, and you really feel isolated, alone. I can only imagine how much it would intensify after leaving a whole planet, especially if you had no way of getting back and the new planet was so desolate as this one in the story. And even beyond that, if you had a special connection to the planet, like the woman in this story . . . I can't believe how much I would miss the Earth. It was hard to write about it, and I think I got it down the way I meant it to feel. The man in the story had a more interpersonal connection, but his story of loss and his longing to see his mother, and the eventual connection between the man and the woman, strike chords that echo with sympathy, grieving, and some kind of love. This story seems, to me, more like ariver of images and feelings rather than words on a page . . . maybe it is only so real to me because I imagined it so vividly and I am the author, but even though not a lot happens in this story, I'm very proud of the feelings it evokes.
SHORT STORIES PAGE