Clouds
© 1999
 |
|
Review #11: Reviewed by: Sheri Graziano Rating:  Comments: When I first began reading this story I didn't think it would be anything special but you quickly pulled me into the scene as it developed between the two young people. I loved the play and conflict in their conversation. Really great short story!
|
|
Review #10: Reviewed by: Stevehen J. Warren Rating: No rating Comments: Reviewed on xenex.org: http://www.xenex.org/justify/swanki.php (Note: Not sure what possessed this person to review my story or why he picked THIS one, but here it is. . . . )
|
|
Review #9: Reviewed by: Jared Rating: Comments: I agree with several of the other reviewers: I think you do have considerable talent as a writer. Though you don't rate this story very highly, I think it's one of the best of your selection: it has that gem-like quality that the best short stories should have. It also has a fairly densely metaphorical structure, right down to the apple. I spend a lot of time combing the net for stories to use in my tutoring and teaching sessions, and I am glad I chanced upon your site, and this story in particular.
|
|
Review #8: Reviewed by: lisa Rating: Comments: this story was so good. omg you should seriously be a professional writer that gets paid. the people talked like they were right out of a story book. keep up the good work and teach me how to write like this
|
|
Review #7: Reviewed by: Mikey Rating: Comments: This was a interesting little story the setting and dialog was great The concept of two people looking at the same thing but both seeing something different was well said. Again you are so able to bring a reader into the world you create with the descriptions and wording you choose on many a story's that you've written I could think of no better way of saying what your characters say. I would give Clouds a 3 star rating
|
|
Review #6: Reviewed by: Jonathan Rating: [No rating] Comments: I had a difficult time assigning a number of stars, I would mostly like to tell my feelings that came to me. I thought that the girl used her story to tell the boy how she would like them to try interacting. His questioning was like a train, and she felt vulnerable like a baby deer. Her bringing the subject back to her stories first sounded selfish, but she wasn't being as literal as he. When he agreed to try (what he clearly labeled a "compromise"), and he saw a frog (not something like a train), she was immediatly happy to see his frog. It seemed that he caught on. Thank you, I found it a nice short piece, and it worked (evoked something) with me. It felt nice that I saw something that maybe you did not intend.
I wondered more about each of the characters and what made them like they were.
|
|
Review #5: Reviewed by: Dan M. Rating: Comments: Here's my opinion... Ok maybe I need to read this again but I missed the point here. It just seemed like a piece from a script from a movie where you just get some character background on some characters. I know there was a point to this, a metaphor, about the story telling relating to their current situation, but it seemed strange to stand on its own like that. So overall I thought it was a starnge way just to put a point across about a metaphor. Ok And I hate to be negative but I did'ne enjoy reading it. It started out okay then just got fluffy , like a piece of a scene from a movie like "Tuck Everlasting" or something. But hey, keep it up and I'll read some others.
|
|
Review #4: Reviewed by: Melissa Rating: Comments: I liked this story. I found the dialog between the children to be amusing, and the female character (Shannon) 's wit to be charming and quick. What I derive from the story is not quite a "moral" , but a message. I wonder whether Shannon really believed, at the end of the story, that the cloud looked like a frog or if she was merely agreeing with Chris to suggest her favor for the subject change.
|
|
Review #3: Reviewed by: Joe Rating: Comments: I enjoyed Clouds! I wad kinda disappointed that you gave it only 2 stars. I thought it's point was conveyed perfectly. Plus, it's such a cute little story! It really doesn't need anymore work to it, so I think it deserves 3 stars! Thank you for your time.
|
|
Review #2: Reviewed by: Raul Rating: Comments: I loved the characters of this story: Shannon and Christopher. One of the hardest things I think there is to do in creating character is to paint a picture without the use of exposition. Bringing out elements of personality and character in dialogue, while still keeping the dialogue fresh is a challense. And I think the author did a great job with these two characters. Truly an unjoyable story.
|
|
Review #1: Reviewed by: The Author Herself Rating: Comments: "Clouds" is rambly and has no point. It is basically just a fun piece of brain candy, and amusing because of the way the characters interact with each other. They have different aims in life and different values, and yet they can see eye to eye if they really try. I think people probably miss my point in this story, not that there was much of one to begin with.
|
|
|
Read it:
BACKLINKS: