Bloom

© 2000

Review #6:
Reviewed by: Alexander
Comments:
I had to think hard in deciding between a 4 and a 5 here, because I don't like picking an extreme (in this case a 5 or 0) unless I have a very good reason or feeling for doing so. But in the end the "(seriously, this is one of the BEST things I've EVER READ!)" seemed to fit it well. I thought it was a very good capture of adolescence for all the (adolescent) characters, and also in Kamber's interpretation of the other characters. The "twist" about Searia and JeLin "cheating" with their dolls was something predictable, but I think that Kamber didn't even suspect that shows off how young and inexperienced she is/was with the world.
One thing that really stood out was the plot about the doll. In the beginning we're made aware that the doll dancing is a very important thing. It's a magic, mysterious doll, and its presence in the story gives off the vibe of "Hey, I'm a magic doll. I know when you've grown up before you do and I'm always right". I felt like it was a good point at the end for the doll to be sort of just a doll, that what really mattered was that Kamber was growing up in experimenting and gaining experience with her life. That in finding the things she's good at, the things that called to her, she reached that point of maturity. In not worrying too much about working with "boy" elements, in having that comfort with herself (although it sometimes seems small) she got what she wanted without the doll dancing, because the story is about her, and not the doll. (Also, I liked that as a reader, I was drawn in to the notion that the doll was important because of Kamber's view of it, and that in the end, I found out that it wasn't important along with her).
Another thing I liked was that Kamber did not disobey her Kin's laws, or seriously question the fact that they have xenophobic tendencies. It was a story about finding out who she was, not about becoming a "normal, free teenager" or something cheesy like that.

Review #5:
Reviewed by: Mikey
Comments:
She smiles" You forgot that hearts all speak the same language as nature does communication won't be a problem." This line and many more I had an indication of this by the title and description I like this story it had many of fine points and the one that really stuck was ( way of life ) characters, plot and the wording all great on the 1-5 scale I would rate this fine piece of art 4 and 1/2 almost a perfect 5 and while it is still fresh in my mind second to the last paragraph nicely said you can really fell the emotion of the story on so many levels. again great read .

first what I have noticed about all your writing, as of so far I will use Bloom as my example, first the character development superb the little details really make it, the day to day thoughts, the wishing bean , the nickname her grandmother called her add's such life, such definition. Your characters take on a life of their own in the witting it is so well crafted, that like my favorite writer J.R.R.Tolkien I didn't want the story to end I wanted to see what was the next evolution brought. The actions of Kamber with the little green flame was superbly written . I found it easy to relate to her and all the emotions she endured through out this wonderful story.

Review #4:
Reviewed by: Dan M.
Comments:
Here's my opinion...
"Bloom" In a time and place where something like this could be reality, the reader gets a great feeling of what it could have been like to experience something like this.
The start of the story gives a good mental image and feeling for the main character, although was a bit difficult for me to get into at first.
This story really started to grab my attention after about a fourth of the story.
Once Kamber started to show her magic to her friend and experience new magic that she did not know she could do, it was then that I really got drawn into this story.
I really liked the imagery and how you could get inside the characters head. The story, once it got going was very interesting and made you want to know what this whole "Bloom" festival was all about.
I personally felt that there were a lot of similarities between this story and the authorís own life, which made it more believable and real to me.
My only criticism would be that I felt like the ending came to a close far too fast.
The first two thirds of the story seemed very detailed with the emotions and the different things that were going on with the main character. But then when the grand finale came, I thought it wasn't nearly as descriptive and I felt like you really needed to expand on the actual blooming process, and build the suspense up more.
The ending although short to me, did tie the whole story together and was very good!
This was an interesting story that is very worth the time it takes to read. I found it to be very well written especially with the descriptiveness and the feelings that were being expressed through Kamber.
This was so close to a 5 star rating, but because of the seemingly abrupt ending in my opinion, I'm going to have to give this story a huge whopping 4 stars instead!
Now after reading all 22 of your short stories that you have posted, I have quite a lot to comment on to you as a writer in general.
This I will e-mail to you separately.
But to wrap it all up here I will say that you show a lot of talent and tons of potential for the future!
Great job! Keep spinning these tales of yours because they are all worth reading and all entertaining in one way or another.
I love the imagination that has gone into these stories. They are very unique and I personally think that they reflect a lot of the author herself.
Excellent, you are on your way!

Review #3:
Reviewed by: Melissa
Comments:
Here's my opinion...Okay, let me see if I can express the way I felt about this story without sounding like a spazoid maniac... I was instantly captivated with the plot and main character. Kamber's uneasy and inquisitive nature is easy to relate to and persuades the reader to take interest in her objective- which was, from my perspective, development and sense of self, and learning to appreciate herself with confidence. For so many reasons, I really loved this story. The characters were believable and in my mind's eye I really "saw" them, as well as the story itself. The butterflies, wind, even dinner time at Kamber's house were brought to life! Please excuse the pun but I found it all to be truly "enchanting" :)

Review #2:
Reviewed by: Joe
Comments:
I just read Bloom and I must say, "bravo!" I really felt like I was reading an event in somebody's life. It is very hard to believe that you just made it up. A very impressive coming of age story with a lot of emotion. I felt kind of sorry for the Joanne character at times though. I also liked the attention to detail. It had me wondering at times if you based the story on a real community such as this. And the detail didn't stop just in the community that the girl Kamber lived, but in the world outside viewed them. Like the library books exposing kind of secret aspects of their culture. I just thought I'd compliment you on a job well done. Thank you for your time.

Review #1:
Reviewed by: The Author Herself
Comments:
"Bloom" is a story that makes me proud. I think that the main character's struggle to accept and understand herself is something we all have gone through and something we all go through from time to time, and it seems that because of that, readers can identify with her despite the fact that some of her experiences are unfamiliar to all readers. I think that every character is realistic and easy to identify with, and that the frustrations and eventual triumphs of the main character make for a good character-oriented story. It is a little bit rambly in several places, and because of the age of the protagonist (in whose voice I relate the story), it comes off a little bit whiny and childish sometimes. Despite this, it is one of my best.

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