Rob: whats up girl? still in gville?

SwankiVY2: Um . . . yeah

SwankiVY2: Sorry, do I know you? You greeted me awfully familiarly

Rob: you go out tonight

SwankiVY2: I went to a poetry jam, yes.

Rob: no. just got in from long night at grog

[The Grog House was a local bar. It had okay food and I went to a Halloween party there once.]

SwankiVY2: My ex-boyfriend used to work there.

SwankiVY2: It's a cool little joint.

Rob: yeah. it was pretty hopping tonight.

SwankiVY2: I don't generally go to bars.

SwankiVY2: I'm not interested in drinking or getting hit on so it's pretty pointless for me to go there.

Rob: how old r u

SwankiVY2: I've been a couple times though to visit my ex-boyfriend.

SwankiVY2: I'll be 22 in January.

Rob: im pretty horny, so im probably im'ing the wrong girl, huh?

SwankiVY2: You better believe you're IMing the wrong girl if you're expecting me to do something about your horniness.

Rob: thats cool. you dont know what your missing though.

SwankiVY2: I think I have a good idea . . . you'd be number 42 in the past few years to IM me for sex. :)

SwankiVY2: Well, at least that I've bothered to record.

Rob: well at least your a good sport about it

SwankiVY2: I've never been interested in the least in sex, so I doubt another offer of it would be all that enticing. :) Yeah, I'm a good sport.

Rob: r u a virgin

SwankiVY2: well thanks for coming out of the blue and asking some girl personal questions, but yes . . . by choice, not for lack of volunteers, in case you were wondering.

Rob: you are very intellectual for a girl that is online at 4 in the morning. im pretty impressed.

SwankiVY2: heh

SwankiVY2: yeah, I'm intellectual all right.

SwankiVY2: What, "intellectual" people aren't ever nocturnal?

Rob: why dont you like sex, r u planning on becoming a nun

SwankiVY2: Okay so . . . if I don't like sex it means I must be religious? I'm just not interested, I don't really know why . . . probably the same reason you're not interested in doing guys. They don't appeal.

Rob: whatever. you must have had a bad experience. take it easy. bye

SwankiVY2: Bad experience, no . . . you're so judgmental.

Rob: come on over

SwankiVY2: That's the same as me saying you must not want to screw guys because one forced himself on you once.

SwankiVY2: Do you understand?

Rob: you r very thick headed. go to sleep

SwankiVY2: Oh my gawd . . . BWHAAH you're calling ME thickheaded??

SwankiVY2: and I have no intention of going to sleep, I don't sleep at night.

Rob: well find something else to do.

Rob: u r a loser

SwankiVY2: What do you mean "something else to do"? I'm just sitting here minding my business and you come out of nowhere trying to sex me up and I'm the loser?

Rob: not many girls are online to carry an educational conversation at 4 am.

SwankiVY2: I'm not sitting here waiting for educational conversations. I was reading my newsgroups if you must know . . . do you think being online at 4 am is a signal for sex?

Rob: yes. and you should know that. your newsgroups should explain that to you

Rob: have a goodnight...........bye

SwankiVY2: I'm reading the alt.religion.wicca newsgroup, it has nothing to do with sex.

Rob: u really r a loser

SwankiVY2: And you're really ridiculous if you think only sex fiends come on the computer at 4 AM just because that's the only thing YOU use it for.

SwankiVY2: Tell me why I'm a loser?

SwankiVY2: What do you know about me that makes you judge me like that?

Rob: lets see. "im going to go on the computer to read about religion at 4 am"

SwankiVY2: how is that "loser"?

SwankiVY2: I have a different sleep schedule than most people.

Rob: thats enough. ............see ya

Rob: you need to get some

SwankiVY2: When it's enough you'll stop talking to me, not the other way around.

Rob: bye

SwankiVY2: Get some? So the only way to be worthwhile is to get some?

Rob: no. but you r rude

SwankiVY2: You have to get some to not be a loser? Well let me rush right out and do everyone I meet, I need to not be a loser in this jerk's eyes.

SwankiVY2: I'm not rude! You're calling me a loser, for god's sake.

SwankiVY2: I never said anything rude that wasn't provoked.

Rob: well look at you. yes you did

SwankiVY2: No, you explain to me where I said something rude to you out of nowhere and I'll believe you.

Rob: if you think you're right, then stop arguing with me.

SwankiVY2: If you want to stop arguing with me, then stop talking.

Rob: fine, bye

SwankiVY2: ::waves::

Rob: whatever that means

SwankiVY2: I'm just waving bye, because I'm so polite. :)

Rob: probably proverbs

SwankiVY2: Proverbs?

Rob: comon. religion??????????

SwankiVY2: I don't know anything about proverbs.

SwankiVY2: I said I was reading the alt.religion.wicca newsgroup, not the alt.religion.christianity newsgroup.

Rob: bye, for the final time

SwankiVY2: And goodbye to you!

Rob: keep reading

SwankiVY2: heh . . . I plan to.

[I put this up as I always did . . . but with a difference. At the time, I used to paste the whole conversation as is into the window, without changing the names. So happened that Jackass here decided to do an ego search on himself and FOUND this conversation on my site. (This is part of the reason I started changing the names--I didn't really WANT people finding themselves on my site, regardless of whether it had legal ramifications.) I just didn't want people finding themselves and giving me shit, plus I didn't know where the law stood on public defamation of character even if the defamation was in no way fabricated.]

[Immediately embarrassed and enraged at the prospect of having his screen name displayed on a nice list of jerks, Rob messaged his friend who could speak better than him and who apparently probably isn't a lawyer but plays one on the computer.]

[Here is the e-mail from Rob's friend.]

Subj: about your web site IM section
Date: 02/06/2000 11:06:20 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: [e-mail address deleted]
To: SwankiVY2

On your web site you have a section of recorded IM conversations of people on AOL. One of them is my friend Rob.

I suggest that you remove this section from your site. It is no more legal to post this without his consent than it is to record a telephone conversation and release it to the public. If I don't receive and email with your compliance to this request I will be forced to help him take the necessary legal actions. Thank you. -Bill

[Heh. "And" email with my compliance to this request--let's see if I can make this sound legal-ish, and she'll buy it! Well, quite honestly, I didn't care one way or the other if he was actually a lawyer; I just didn't want to deal with bullshit so I was willing to take his IM off out of--yeah right--respect for his ego. Here is my response.]

Subj: Re: about your web site IM section
Date: 02/07/2000 12:33:10 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: SwankiVY2
To: [e-mail address deleted]

In a message dated 02/06/2000 11:06:20 PM Eastern Standard Time, Bill writes:

I wouldn't keep something posted against someone's wishes; however, I am not worried about any threats you make. You can threaten to sue me, whatever you like . . . I'm not sure about "legal ramifications" but I am of the opinion that once someone puts something to paper it is public domain unless specified otherwise. Telephone conversations *are* routinely recorded and released to the public without consent.

I'm sorry if my page upset you or your friend, but it is certainly entertainment for me. Your friend amused me with his half-witted insults and harebrained opinions (such as the part where he insisted girls don't come online at 4 in the morning unless they're looking for sex), and I was hoping he could amuse the world too, since he thought it was perfectly legit to say to just me. I'm not sure why your friend wants me to remove what he said since in his eyes I'm a big loser and my conversation with him (in his opinion) shows what a loser I am, but I suppose he is not to blame for having a change of heart. >:)

I'm glad you think highly enough of your friend to help him fight his battles. If we'd met under different circumstances perhaps you might have even liked me. Ta-ta!!

~*~*iVY

[Rob couldn't stand getting away without insulting me through e-mail himself, too. Ooh fun!]

Subj: loser
Date: 02/06/2000 11:07:03 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Rob
To: SwankiVY2

you better get me off your webpage otherwise i will notify all of those others that are on it to........then you will be in trouble with a lot of people in gainesville............oblige you loser

[And my stunning reply:]

Subj: Re: loser
Date: 02/07/2000 12:34:13 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: SwankiVY2
To: Rob

I love you too, honey!

You don't need to call me a loser, you did that plenty in our conversation. I'll be happy to take you off (even though you didn't ask nicely); I wouldn't post something if I knew it was in violation of someone else's wishes, which you have expressed is the case here. And it's not because I'm afraid of any threats you (or your friend) make; it is because I have morals and I understand that you said very embarrassing things that you now regret. Too bad, though; yours was one of the funniest. You actually tried to argue with me and insult me.

For future reference (should you need it), you don't need to threaten, name-call, or freak out to get someone to obey your wishes. You should have realized I'm a reasonable person and that I would respond to "please remove me from XX webpage, I do not wish to be showcased" or whatever. :) But I'll take the insult too . . . that's just as funny. Have a great day!

~*~*iVY

[Of course I later had a change of heart and decided he needed to be shown to the world, and he can't exactly complain because it can no longer be traced to his actual self since there are plenty of other Robs who could have said this--no, it's not me, really! And of course his threat to contact all the others on my list no longer holds up either because their full names are no longer on the lists.]

[Hope you've enjoyed this long-overdue restored IM.]

reeny: It's actually a really good idea to keep him on here; he definately deserves it after the way he talked to you and cause it was so long ago.
What kind of idiot would chat up/want to meet and have sex with random girls they meet online. How pathetic! No pride whatsoever, they'll probably wake up one day, realise their mistakes and regret it so much; all the girls they 'bedded' just to get some sex.
argh. well you know from recent rambles how much people who can't take the word 'no' are frustrating, so there we go. You know even friends who never said those kinds of things are starting to these days. Making suggestive comments and the like.
It just goes to show, time reveals what people can really be like underneath the mask they wear.
Well at least they can be put to some use; your im's page! so some good can come out of this :D
Entertaining and amusing the world, one dropkick at a time: Budgiland's IM Page! :D
Luv ya Ivy, (we don't think you're a loser!) take care and will email you soon!!!

Dylan: LMAO! What an oblivious jerk! Doesn't exactly take the time to look at the other side of the fence now, does he? Bravo. I'm glad I stumbled upon this site, it is most amusing. Good for a laugh whenever I need one ya know? Well, I do love how this entire ... 'situation' escalated to friends fighting his battles... and he call's you the loser? My, this child can't even fight his own battles. And he call's you the rude one? OMG not only does this guy have no morality, but he has no life but to be a sexual deviant in the late hours of the night... or early hours of the morning. He criticizes you for being online, enlightening yourself, and not seeking sex??? Right. Anyways, I commend your amazing comebacks once again, even if this page is definately outdated. I understand your sleep cycles, for like yours, mine have been fucked over from my job at a local casino. (When shifts end at 3:15 in the morning, it kind of slaughters a social life eh? OH Yeah I'm a Canuck btw l ol) IN ANY CASE, THIS IS AMAZING! 'Rob' certainly deserved your judgement, as he wrongfully judged you. BRAVO!

Reaper7876: Wow. Just...Wow. I was up at four 'o clock yesterday morning, and I must say I had no intention of screwing random boys I've never met. Even if I wasn't a boy myself, anybody with the opinion that girls are nocturnal only for screwing boys is going to get screwed by life. Only, as the unlucky definition. As in, "You failed the test! DUDE! You're screwed now, man!"
Sigh...I hate my own analogies. But that's not the point. The point is that girls are not nocturnal just to screw boys, insulting others does not validate you, and once you realize the other person is right, you should admit it.