Red EDGE: Hey, baby, wanna cyber?

SwankiVY2: Yeah right, keep dreaming...you just want me to put you on the famous cyber page. :P

Red EDGE: damnit

SwankiVY2: Yeah, I know. I so knew it.

Red EDGE: [some website] is even linking to you...nice

SwankiVY2: I know. That's probably where you found it, ne?

Red EDGE: right

SwankiVY2: Being psychic is so handy sometimes.

Red EDGE: you've been online for almost 4 hours this session....do you do anything else?

Red EDGE: I've found masturbation to be a nice time killer

SwankiVY2: Yes. I've been writing an article, actually, and today I had a phone conversation with my friend Victor, a phone conversation with my mom, edited my book, and went to work.

SwankiVY2: And actually, now I'm going to bed.

SwankiVY2: By myself, I might add.

Red EDGE: you sound overweight

SwankiVY2: Yeah right.

SwankiVY2: You aiming for my jerks page too?

Red EDGE: just going by statistics

Red EDGE: see, lets make a list...

Red EDGE: 1) AOL maniac

Red EDGE: 2) web editor

Red EDGE: 3) writer

SwankiVY2: so, therefore, fat.

Red EDGE: 4) no boyfriend

Red EDGE: 5) obviously no sex life

SwankiVY2: by choice, I might add, ALL of those things.

Red EDGE: I'm guessing you're about 5'4", 150lbs, long stringy brown hair

SwankiVY2: Wrong on all counts.

Red EDGE: 160?

SwankiVY2: Still wrong, and getting colder.

SwankiVY2: I weigh less than a hundred and ten pounds, though that varies with how much water I decide to retain, holding back my bile from throwing up at people who say the ridiculous things you do.

Red EDGE: any masturbation?

Red EDGE: I'm a Delta Chi at Auburn University....I know nice looking ladies when I see them, trust me

SwankiVY2: Not that it should matter or that I should have to justify myself to you, but just because you think my hobbies equal "fat nerd," it doesn't mean it's true. Good night.