8/29/01
Some FREAK was telling our Hallmark girl about how Wiccans and Pagans are forming a New World Order to take over the world and deny people their rightful Christianity. Which is a bit frightening since she and I are both Pagan and we happen to know our religions don't even believe in proselytization, much less forcefully taking over the world. Yeah. Apparently there are several websites about how we're taking over and how to avoid us or something, which he had conveniently printed up on business cards.
8/28/01
I had to work the register today. The manager had gone to the bank so there was no one in the store to really do customer service except the Hallmark girl, and SHE has been having to do customer service so much that she can't get her Hallmark done, so when a man came up and asked me for help, I decided to just help him myself and walk away from the register, which I don't often do but there was almost no one in the store since it was a very early morning.
While helping the man with computer books, a customer came up and said "excuse me" and interrupted my helping the guy. He said, "I was told you smoke. I'll give you a dollar if you'll just give me one cigarette." I kind of stared blankly at him, and then replied that I did not smoke and I had no idea who would have told him that. He went away. So after finishing helping the guy, on my way back to the registers, I stopped and told the Hallmark girl that I'd just been asked for a cigarette. She was like, "Me too. You told him I smoke?" I blinked. "No," I said. "He said that someone told him *I* smoked. I didn't tell him you smoked." We pondered whether it could have been the girl in the café who'd told him that, but we couldn't figure out why she would tell him we smoked when I obviously didn't . . . then we decided that he probably used it as a line, to act like he already knew we smoked and therefore must have cigarettes. That way, if we were smokers, we couldn't get out of giving him a cigarette by lying that we didn't smoke! Heh.
In any case when I returned to the register a couple minutes later, a girl was waiting. I cheerfully apologized for making her wait, and expressed the hope that she hadn't been waiting too long. Her response? "That's okay. I was only waiting TEN MINUTES." I informed her that I had JUST been up there and we hadn't even been open for ten minutes. She looked abashed that we both knew she'd been exaggerating but didn't retract her statement. Whatever.
8/25/01
At our early-morning meeting today, we were having a changeover of general managers; our old one is going to Melbourne or something. Our district manager ran the meeting, and she made fun of the old boss for not buying enough chain to chain up the patio furniture, and when he tried to blame the problem on someone else (like he often does), the district manager said, "You know, I'm really glad you're going to Melbourne." When he protested, she interrupted him and said, "You ARE the weakest link. Buh-bye." It was amusing because a lot of the time he was there, he blamed other people for stuff that was his fault and took credit for stuff that wasn't. So he got his. Buh-bye.
8/18/01
Today a customer wanted some information at the service desk really early in the morning, so I had to reboot the computer 'cause it freezes every night and doesn't work right until someone reboots it. It is slow. I told her I had to restart it and did so. After about a minute of waiting for it to boot up, the lady goes, "Is it too much trouble?" At which point I realized SHE THOUGHT I WAS JUST STANDING THERE WITH MY THUMB UP MY ASS the entire time the computer was rebooting! She thought I was just standing there! What the hell??
8/13/01
A somewhat hard-of-hearing guy overwrote his check today when he misheard the amount. He was buying a Bible and the total was $16.99, and he wrote it for $60.99. I pointed it out to him and wondered why the hell he didn't realize that SIXTY dollars was a bit too much for a Bible. I gave the check back and while he was writing the new one he was like, "Ohh, I am SOOO glad you noticed that! THANK YOU JESUS!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!" Okay . . . it was weird, he was just singing praises to Jesus for letting him not spend forty extra dollars, but I would go as far as to say that Jesus had nothing to do with me noticing the mistake on his check, 'cause I check every single one. D'oh.
8/11/01
"Ex-CUSE me, are you gonna ring me up or what??"
--Uttered by some asshole lady who was standing at a register that wasn't open. She acted like I was supposed to know she was ready, but she was standing there looking at pens and magazines and whatnot all around the register. Couldn't she figure out that there was only one open and go to it? Especially when I had rung up several people while she was "waiting" for me! She must have seen them come to me and get rung up, but she just continued standing there looking at the impulse buys until she got annoyed with expecting me to come to her and whined at me. Some people just seriously need a brain adjustment. In the form of an anvil landing on their heads.
Kevin, my manager, came up to the register while Diana was on break and decorated her register computer. He put hair and a face on it (all made out of register tape) and even gave it bag shoes and gave it a sign saying "Hello, my name is Diana. Buy a discount card!" Hehe. He put her apron on it and everything.
Oh, and some guy was trying to read Tarot cards in the store. I helped him figure it out. Heh.
8/6/01
A lady who didn't have enough money to buy her crappy trinkety objects kept trying to talk me down on the prices! I had to explain to her that the prices were not negotiable the way they would be at a yard sale or something. But she still insisted on saying things like "This book says it's on sale for $5.97. Is there any chance this other book is on sale too?" "No, it's not, unless it has a sticker on it." "Well, can you MAKE it on sale?" ARRGHH! Prices = set already! You cannot talk me down on price! Hallmark ornaments are not so important that you must try to talk me out of several dollars in order to get all the crappy things you wanted! GAHH!
Also some lady was buying The Prayer of Jabez, which as you may or may not know is a new well-known Christian book about how to break through to the blessed life. It sells in droves because it is small, cheap, gift-sized, and popular, and every time something like that gets popular EVERYONE in the Christian community has to read it. So the lady asked if I had read it yet, and I said no (stifling the urge to ask her what she thought of Silver RavenWolf's controversial Teen Witch Kit, a subject of much discussion in the Pagan community a few months back). She said, "Well, you should." I smirked. She misinterpreted the amused look on my face and asked, "Oh, do a lot of people suggest it to you?" I said, "Yeah, sure, it's a popular book, lots of people seem to love it." Her response: "Well, maybe God's trying to tell you something." Actually, no, I thought it was PEOPLE who were trying to tell me something, but where's the logic in that? If the PEOPLE are saying it, God must be talking through them. What if they're jerks? Is God being a jerk through them too? Go fig.
8/1/01
I brought twisty homemade bread to work and the back room ants ate it! So I killed them. Hah.
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