My Record of Work: The Annoying, the Interesting, and the Just Plain Weird--The Year 2000.

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I found an evil Hallmark card that said "Birthday's aren't so bad . . ." on the front. I flew into a rage about the lack of editing for a MAJOR company, and labeled the card "EVIL." I also copied down the address so I can write them a letter of complaint, telling them that if they have an editor that person needs some lessons, and if they DON'T have an editor they should HIRE ME!!!


Remember the dude who told me I should be in a porn mag? He's back. He asked me if Hollywood had called yet. I was like, "For what?" He reminded me of the last time he was there and told me that was what I should really be doing. I'm kinda shaking my head.


Some lady called wanting "the big book with the red cover." She told me it was on the sale table and that it had something to do with spiders' webs. I went looking for it but saw nothing remotely dealing with those words or that was big and red, and so I told her so. She said, "Well, it might not be red or have 'spider's web' on it." What the hell else am I supposed to look for? Jeez.


Today I was running the cash register instead of doing customer service. My line started getting pretty long, and I commented to the older gentleman I was ringing up at the time that they must be lining up for my autograph. He replied, "Well, *I'D* like your autograph, why don't you sign THIS?" And he handed me the porno magazine he was purchasing. I gaped for a second, then managed to say, "Well I'm not in *that* one!" His reply? "Oh, well you sure could be." Then he noted that I was blushing, and continued with his spiel, saying he was one of my biggest fans and that I always brighten his day. When he left he said he'd see me again soon. Ugh.


Today sucked because we were short-staffed due to yesterday's senior manager quitting. Ugh. Two things worthy of mention happened though: one funny and one very annoying. Annoying first.

We got an angry customer who said there was no toilet paper in the men's room. He got mad at the lady who was filling in for our day manager and came up to me demanding names and numbers of the people in charge of our store. When he came up to collect the information, he made a face at the lady he was mad at and said "DUH!" to her really meanly. I didn't get it. Sorry you couldn't wipe your ass, dude, I really am . . . but it wasn't like we CHOSE to run out of toilet paper specifically to piss you off. . . . (I had to get some from the ladies room for him.)

Now funny thing: The same kid who complained at Pokémon League on 8/26 came up to me today and asked me how old I was. When I told him, he asked me honestly, "But how come you're so small??" Yes, folks, he was taller than I.


Today my senior manager quit. Guess what the reason she gave was? "I'm just sick of the bullshit!" So am I.

In other news, my new Harry Potter button on my apron sparked an argument between one of my co-workers and our Christian manager . . . I accidentally started a discussion of whether witchcraft was used in the Bible by the prophets. Heh. "Moses was a witch!"


Today some woman came up to me and told me that the little package that was supposed to hold a clip-on book light did not contain the correct item. I was a little confused as to what she was talking about, but then she opened it up . . . and inside, instead of a book light, was a package of Rollos candy. I would really like to know how the HELL that got there.

On to October!