January 2000 through April 2000

(And please note that sometimes I got a little whiny about family or friend issues--remember, this was stuff written a long time ago, and I could sometimes get a little petty. . . . )


Well, the house is a shambles. My mom's pissed. But that's all right . . . it was an okay party. Mom's just annoyed because we made a mess. She refused my offer to clean it up, too. Guess she just wants to clean it herself and then bitch about how she had to clean. Such is life.

It's not the "new millenium." 2000 is the last year in the twentieth century. But who cares? It's just another silly human thing so companies can make money and people have yet another excuse to drink and act like fools. Sure, it's cool that at some somewhat arbitrary point in time 2000 years ago, someone decided to start counting. But does it have any deep philosophical, religious, or spiritual significance? Not really.

Do I have new year's resolutions? Not really. I decided to start writing in a journal because I *love* recording time, but that's not a "resolution." I'd resolve to work more on my writing, but why rush it? I'm going to be super busy this next semester with my internship and all, and after that I'll be getting settled God knows where.


I've just had a "discussion" with my mom. It's that age-old debate over this and that. As usual, I'm obsessive, idealistic, and unable to see the folly of my ways because I am so young yet. *sigh* I live in a virtual world, I'm obsessed with my past, and I can't move on. According to Mommy, anyway. This one included something new: the accusation that I was playing "word games" every time I made a good point. This "virtual world" she speaks of is "the computer." She says I spend too much time on the computer and so I don't know what "real things" I am missing. There are six main things I do on the computer: WRITING, EDITING (my own stuff and others'), HOSTING, CHATTING, WORKING ON MY WEB PAGE, and RESEARCH (for my own enjoyment or for school). I don't see why these things are any less "real" than other pastimes/hobbies/occupations in life. It's just because it's on the computer that I'm told it's "virtual." Let's put it this way: when I'm drinking a cup of coffee and typing away to someone on the computer, we're having a cup of coffee together, and that's all there is to it. The only differences are the fact that there may be a continent between us rather than a table, and that we are using our fingers, computers, and phone lines to relay our messages rather than our mouths and ears.

Anyway, the only thing that really upsets me here is that Mom has a view of me that just isn't true. She's trying to say that she's delivering her concern "with love." But the problem is that we just have different views about what's important. Because I prefer to do fewer things in depth rather than many things in a cursory manner, I am "missing out." When it comes down to it, whatever makes the people involved happy is important. I'm missing out on the experience of scuba diving, yes, because I haven't tried it and don't want to. But by the same token, isn't she missing out on the experience of putting long, hard years into writing a novel and finally having it published? Isn't she missing out on the experience of creating a large masterpiece of a Web page and having it admired by a large audience? Isn't she missing out on a lot of things that require time, perseverance, and effort just in the name of not becoming "obsessed" about any one interest?

I think it's unfair to judge someone as having "no life" simply because their lives don't match another's idea of fun. I don't like arguing about the best way to live. And I don't buy the idea that someone else has my best interest at heart when they give me an objective opinion on what's good for me.

Essentially, I think I am happier doing a (relatively) few things "all the way" than I would be trying to do everything once. Doing things that way makes it impossible to be a "master" at anything or to really examine the meaning.

I still wonder about two things concerning my mother. One is whether she will respect my decisions/perceptions when I am older or if she will always be unable to think me wise due to her perpetually elevated age. Will she always think me incapable of thinking with wisdom simply because she will always be older, looking from a vantage point of twenty years' extra experience? The other thing I wonder about concerns my poetry. My mom's always loved it. She's told me I can express truth with few words, very well, and very, uh, "poetically." I wonder how she can say my poetry is so profound if I of course have no clue what I'm talking about? I must have some wisdom. Sheesh.


This morning P left for Japan. She woke me up and gave me a hug. I think she started crying but I can't be sure; it was dark, I was sleepy and she has a cold. I remember her hair was wet.

Mom says she didn't cry when she left at the airport. She said, "She doesn't like me. She was nothing but a bitch to me." Mom says that whenever she asked a question, P acted like it was the most obvious thing. I've seen that scenario many times. It's partly Mom's fault for not listening the first time and making things difficult, and partly P's for expecting too much and getting exasperated by somewhat insignificant things. Of course, P would say she wasn't exasperated, and she probably wasn't, but that is how Mom takes it. Kind of like when Mom wanted me to wear Lindsay's platform shoes and I said no, to which I received the reply, "You are so closed-minded!" Um . . . no, I just fall off platform shoes too easily. Even L, who wears platforms all the time, says she's twisted her ankle on them a couple times. So . . . what reasons remain for me to wear them again? Blah.


Technically, it's Saturday. But I got up today at like 4 pm so it's still "today." I was up late/early last night/morning because of being on the phone with Victor. It was an interesting conversation and we talked about Star Trek and other crap.

I should eat a tangerine before they go bad. I bought 5 for $1 at Wal-Mart from some guy selling them out of his pickup truck in the parking lot. I'm not really in a tangerine mood, though. I'm in more of a cinnamon toast-cheesebread with parmesan-fake mashed potatoes mood. Today I scattered parmesan cheese all over the counter. Ugh.

I'm annoyed because our host names are going to roll over soon, meaning I will no longer be HEK Ivy but instead will be HOST HEK Ivy. We have to put "HOST" in front of our names because the newbies find it too confusing to learn the special area prefixes for every chatroom. Whiners.

This would not be too much of a problem except that all my stuff in the HEK Ivy FTP space will no longer be there...so I will have to put it somewhere else AND tell all my codes where to find the new stuff. That's what I spent my day doing. I also answered my e-mail and did Mike's homepage and review.

The good news is that I may get an editing job! Someone or another was impressed with my editing on Mike's book and supposedly hinted at giving me a job. That would kick ass.

I also talked to Bunky today. I caught him up on a bunch of stuff in my life and he talked about EQ, fantasy football, shitty drivers, and dogs. I bitched about my computer a lot because it was corrupting my files. Oh well.


Today I woke up at about 2 like I hoped. I spent the entire freakin' day in front of the computer. I hosted, chatted with freaks, talked to Fred (and chatted briefly on the phone with him), and worked on my Web page. Now it's done. Yay!

I'm really annoyed that my computer keeps deciding it has no memory. I THOUGHT MY ZIP DRIVE WOULD FIX THAT FREAKIN' PROBLEM. Sheesh. Anyway, I talked to Victor online today and we spoke over my calendar 2000 pictures. He still thinks Nina is blonde and Bailey is brunette. Damn.


Boy, I slept forever! I think it was something like fourteen hours. I must've been tired. :)

Well, today was the first day of classes. I had a really good day! It looks like my classes won't be too bad. My internship might suck. Who knows? I hope it doesn't suck. I haven't been to the orientation yet. But despite my worry over that, MANY good things happened today! Here they are.

I got up at 6:30 or so. I had time to answer e-mail plus get ready for school, including a lovely leisurely breakfast. My 2nd period seems like it will be easy; the project is divided into 5 small, easy-to-handle bits. A girl came to the class after everyone was gone but me, so I offered to let her copy my syllabus. We got to talk. It was very nice. I made it to my next class, the music ed class. Our teacher, Ms. Ward, is very bubbly! It's going to be a good class, and not too challenging for me, which will be nice considering I'll have enough to worry about with my internship!

After those classes, I went off to adventures in bookstores. I bought the texts to the two classes, plus a pink highlighter for the music stubs. After that I ate a free slice of pizza and talked with the nice lady. She said she was thirsty and I felt sorry for her so I decided to go get her a drink when I picked up tapes at Eckerd's. I went home to drop off my books and there was a flyer on the door that advertised free pizza and Coke to celebrate the arrival of a new member to the CP team. I decided to go to Eckerd and buy water and tapes, then go to the CP party. It began to pour down rain while I was in Eckerd's! Luckily, I had my umbrella! I walked to FBS (getting my bell-bottoms soaked in puddles!) and it turned out the lady had already gotten a drink. :( I went to the CP party and had 3 more pizza slices! Yum. Anyway, I went to the MUB library to copy assigned articles for the MUE class and noticed a few problems with incomplete/garbled articles. I made up my mind to e-mail the teacher later.

Finally I made it to seminar. Another good thing happened there: Scott D. offered to carpool with me for the internship! Goodbye, bus. :)

On the way back, I stopped and talked with Bobby, the Target Copy parking attendant, after I got my seminar materials. He was cool.

When I arrived home, we had a nice low phone bill! I e-mailed Jeremy, and also mailed my teacher about the problems. I got lots of [dangerousangels] mail. Blargh.

I got lots of nice e-mail. I made a new friend (sort of), IMed with old friends (Jessica, Laura, Clamsammich)...I IMed with Victor as he was being perverted...I also received e-mail from the teacher back, calling me conscientious and thanking me. (I also warned her that A LOT of people probably won't have read the correct article due to the library list's order being different than the syllabus'.)

SPEAKING of getting conscientious, I am very close to getting a job with the people who publish Chicken Soup for the Soul! Mike said they're looking for copyeditors and that all I have to do is find typos in one more book! I will go tomorrow if possible!

Oh, I got comments about looking happy today. :) Tomorrow I'll go to health class and see Scott, and hopefully do some homework and catch up on e-mail. I'd better go so I can awaken reasonably early tomorrow!


Today was the second day of school. I woke up at about noon and decided it was impractical to go to Books-A-Million, so I didn't. Instead, I ate a nice breakfast! I had eggs (but I burned them), fake bacon, a tangerine, and milk. Yum! The brown egg package had two broken. :( Ammy's bird laid an egg yesterday...I thought about that as I cleaned up the eggs, and about how Ammy said occasionally in eggs you get a bloody fertilized one! I've never heard of that. Does it ever really happen?

I did my reading for Appendix D in the book for eval. Not exactly strenuous. I took notes. Then I went to school. I sat with Scott in Health Methods. It will be a lot of friggin' work. >:( Luckily, I was saved from having to find a group for the group work. Some girls asked Scott and me to be their partners! :) Good things always happen to me! I wonder why? I love it.


It's all set! I'll be teaching in first grade. I'm worried about it because it's just going to be so much to handle, and I'm not sure I'll like it; an awful long time to do something one doesn't like. But with the way things have been falling into place, I should have smooth sailing. Scott D. is taking me to the orientation, where I'll meet my teacher. This weekend, I'll go shopping for some "professional" clothes. I want to get some clothes that are still a little outlandish because, well, I'm outlandish. Since, at least for now, I'm going to be in first grade, I can probably get away with dressing down a little, according to my field advisor. >:) So let's just hope it all turns out to be fun.

Blargh...I don't feel like hosting tonight...I just want to screw around and do absolutely nothing. I guess I'll type my book some more. <ž


I had another dream, but before I go into that I need to talk about something that just occurred to me. I was sitting in front of my little altar with the candles lit and incense going...well, I still am as I write this, actually...and I thought of something. A couple days ago I was thinking about how well my life seems to be going and how some other people's lives seem to suck. I wished to give some of my "luck" to a few of those people. I figured it wasn't fair that I keep getting all the lucky breaks and so I decided that as long as I keep on this path that's set and none of the good things that have happened are "revoked," I'd like to give some of it to someone who really needs it. Today I was thinking that was a kind of bad time to offer up "luck," considering I'm going to need it with this interning thing! However, while I was thinking about that, looking at my candles, I figured hey, if it's true that you get back what you send out threefold, I'm set. :) Maybe that's why I'm doing so well; I'm always wishing for good things for people.


Today I didn't do that much. I was productive, I guess. I went to the Salvation Army and bought "Teacher Clothes™." Why's it called Salvation Army anyway? Bet that has to do with some God thing. Anyway, I bought lots of clothes for only $27. Speaking of God things, today while reading my Eval assignment, I came across a writing in the textbook scrawled in pencil on a blank page of the book: "Read the Word of God." Stuff like that annoys me. Bet that person thought that's a really positive message, but I think it's insulting...I don't think the word of God could be read. Oh well!


Today Phil and I celebrated my birthday, even though that's not really 'til tomorrow. First, after I woke up, Phil and I went to the mall to eat at Rigatelli's. I had my hair in the cute shoelaces/looped braids style I like. We had a waitress named Lindsey who called me "hon." I ate angel hair pasta with alfredo sauce, with mushrooms and broccoli! Phil ordered wine, too, but I didn't like it. It was a great restaurant.

Then we went shopping. I had a gift certificate for $50.00 (my renewal gift from CP a long time ago), so I spent it in a music store. I got 5 CDs! 2 Kate Bush CDs, 2 Indigo Girls CDs, and 1 Alanis CD. Phil pitched in so I could get them all. I also bought a pretty journal, and at Wet Seal Phil bought me star and moon undies, plus a tank shirt and undies that said "Princess."

We decided to go to Moon Goddess but it turned out to be closed. We went home and I played some songs from CDs for Phil, and then he took a nap as I typed. Then I set my computer to defrag. I woke Phil up and then we went to the Reitz Union for pool. Phil beat me like 5 to 2, but I don't care. :)

Back at home my hard drive still wasn't defragged! It hadn't even properly begun. We found Donny wandering around so I brought him up. I showed him the Ivy calendar while Phil popped in his new Adam Sandler CD--I'm taping it now. :) Donny suggested I restart my computer to make it defrag, which it did.

Phil and I watched 5 or 6 episodes of Tenchi in Tokyo. Then I was hungry so Phil cooked us egg/cheese omelettes and I made cinnamon toast & fake bacon. It was an excellent breakfast-for-dinner!

I figure after I finish writing this, Phil will scratch my back, because he mentioned he wanted to in his e-mail. He is too damn nice. I guess my mom is somewhat right that I'm a "taker," but I make my gratitude known and never pressure people to "give"...plus I am always willing to help him (on things like the Web page, and editing papers)...anyway. Let it be known that Phil likes to "give" and I just don't mind letting him. >:) Okay, enough blabbering. ~~~~~~


Fred called me (to wish me a happy birthday), and then Mom called. She wanted to come up and visit but had no car. I might get a keyboard! Mom was kind of being a bitch though...she was insisting that she get to bring her new puppy (Roxanne) up to visit, because she had no one to watch her. That I understood but I told her that she'd need to put the dog away, because I knew it was not a paper-trained dog. Mom acted all incredulous and shocked when I expressed my wish to have her dog not roaming freely in my apartment. She kept saying, "GOD, you're SO mean!" I don't understand how "not a dog person, not interested in stepping in/having to smell pee and shit/annoyed by barking, hair, licking and all things dog" translates to "mean." I just *know* she would promise to watch her and immediately clean up the pee just as a way to "get her foot in the door," at which point her dog would freely piss my house unattended. She pulled the same crap when she last visited and begged to smoke "just one cigarette" in my house, then proceeded to chain-smoke. She may have done a lot for me in my life but I still don't think that she has the right to do things I *hate* in my house. Anyway, Ammy agreed with me on the "dog issue" and didn't think I was "mean" for requesting the confinement of the dog. I do not have a dog for a REASON. At least someone understands.

Ammy took me grocery shopping today. She bought me an ice cream cake. It was really good. She bought a ribbon and a pair of "2" candles. It was cool. I felt special. Then Melissa watched videos with me and I went off to read my health chapter. I'm not done yet. I'm finding lots of errors in the book. >:(


Today was kind of icky outside. When I woke up it was still raining from the night before. I kept putting my alarm later and later to give me "just a little more sleep," stumbling through halfway realistic excuses for more napping in my half-awakened logic. I finally got up at 9:01 (for a 9:35 class) and dressed in a sweater and leggings. I ate fake bacon and drank Coke, and then I was ready. I put on my green slip-on shoes so I could wipe my feet dry when I got to the MUB and set out walking to the MUB in the rain, under my umbrella.

My feet got soaked and the shoes were unsuitable for walking in the rain; I kept slipping out of them. I made it to the MUB in one piece and went to class. We went over items for the upcoming BitchTest, played piano (I helped with chords), played "Jack-a-Dandy" on the drums, and played the name game. I HATE THAT DAMN GAME! I sucked at it as expected. I walked home barefoot, thanking whoever would listen that it was relatively warm out.

When I got home I put my sore, cold feet under the warm tap in the tub. It was nice. I puttered around, eating lunch, downloading mp3s...until it was time for seminar. It was cold by this time but no longer raining! YAY! I biked to NRN and sat in seminar. It was kind of boring but I got to talk to the other interns about how everything is going.

After seminar, I downloaded some more mp3s (but decided to let Scott take over for me), and ate an artichoke with Ammy.

Scott called me and told me he hated me a few thousand times, and then we went to the mall. I bought Valentine candy and Pez to obtain the change to pay Scott back. He tried to refuse but I made him take it. :) He had already bought 2 packs of Star Wars cards and had good luck, and wanted to get more. I told him to quit while he was ahead. He said maybe it was a run of good luck. We decided that he would buy a pack and it would be the "I TOLD YOU SO" pack...for one of us. :) Turned out it was me. They were all shit cards. I rule, as always.

We also played Ms. Pac-Man. I was unnecessarily mean to Scott over that; when I got to Junior I asked him how many times he'd gotten to Junior in the same game, and he said he NEVER had, at which point I said in surprise, "Oh, I thought you said you were good." He did say he had the game at home and gave me the "let's see you beat me, missy" sort of challenge...

Anyway, we also played skee-ball. I got ridiculous points from a fluke mistake in the machine, and Scott accused me of "cheating." I got to buy an eraser with my tickets.

We had dinner at Wendy's and Taco Bell and made fun of each other. Scott underestimates his singing ability. When I told him we had to make up a song and put it on tape for the MUE class, he stared at me wide-eyed and said, "You've GOT to be shitting me." I wasn't.

We made a copy of the MUE study guide and then Scott dropped me off. I had eaten all my Valentine hearts by then! I'm a PIG!


I woke up today at Scott's house. We watched the Brady Bunch "true stories" thing and he took me home. I went online, edited Mike's book and sent it off, and worked a little on my homepage.

Then Mom came. We got a parking pass and food at Rigatelli's, and I talked to her about all the crap that's been happening in my life. Then I scanned some pics, watched Greed, and talked to Mom.

I swear, she thinks that, like, my entire life revolves around her, and not only that but that I do a lot of things just to spite her. She's convinced that I wear these pants (the ones with the holes in them that she's tried to throw out three times) because she hates them. She says it's a spiteful thing I'm doing. WHAT?!? Then she started in on my socks too. She says I wear mismatched socks because of her. Okay, um...here it goes. I'm just a twenty-two-year-old, just rebelling and asserting myself. In five years, I'll look back and realize it. That's her rationale, because she was twenty-two once too. She wasn't me as a twenty-two-year-old, and contrary to popular belief all twenty-two-year-olds aren't the same. WTF? I can't think of how me wearing different colored socks WHEN SHE CAN'T SEE ME has anything to do with her! She claims that when I moved out I decided that I would not pair my socks. Problem with that: I didn't wear matching socks in high school either, and if I ever said anything about my plans for socks after I moved out, it was about my lack of having to pair them, due to the fact that I no longer had sisters sharing my socks, sisters who would complain if one sock was clean and one was dirty.

I REALLY DON'T GET IT. Why's my mom think everything has something to do with her? How is what I wear "rebelling" against her? Why is it that if I just don't agree or don't share a taste that it is called "rebelling" or considered a reaction to something my mother does, wants, or doesn't want? What, I can't have thoughts, opinions, or preferences of my own? They are automatically some rebellious act to disobey my mother? The truth is I really have no reason to piss her off! I really am more bewildered than anything...I don't know where this is coming from, where she's getting it. It's just so off the mark from anything I'm thinking...gah.


Blorg. Yes, today I awoke on the couch and Scott was still asleep. I went to my room and did some reading, and finally when Scott got up I watched "The Last Day" from Red Dwarf with him. He ate a banana and went home.

I did my work and a little bit of Imbolc research. Pretty fruitless crap. I took a shower and read more Ivy. I also studied. Finally I called Scott and we got together to "study," which means working ¼ of the time and fucking around the other ¾. We listened to Weird Al, surfed the 'Net, watched Weird Al videos, and finally did some studying. We ate pizza and drank soda. Then we fooled around and studied some more. We made up some disturbing acronyms and visualizations to help us remember. >:)

When I got back I somehow thought of great Imbolc ideas while chatting with Fred. Yay! All in all today was somewhat uneventful, though. Ho-hum.


This morning I felt like someone was punishing me for something. I guess they couldn't have been, though, or else I would understand why.

I woke up late. It was about ten minutes before eval class and I was late... I got ready relatively quickly and headed out. It was raining. I got my umbrella, got on my bike, and...ka-KLUNK, ka-KLUNK, ka-KLUNK, the tire is flat. AAH! So I walked to school and was very late. But it was okay. I went to MUE (Scott D. had baby Joshua with him!) and we played chords and reviewed for the test. No biggie. I walked home and my toes were wet.

I wrote thank-you letters to my grandparents for birthday money, then took out the trash and recycling. Then I took my bike to Primo's, where I got a new tire and helmet. My new helmet is pink.

I browsed in Side Effects and finally went to class. Seminar was boring! We just edited some dork's lesson plan! Blargh. I told Drew hi from Scott.

When I got home I just read THTIB 4 and 3, and did my e-mail. Then Scott L. called. We had a "bitch" fight and made plans. I left a "bitch" on his answering machine and took inventory for my candles.

Scott and I went to Wal-Mart (where I bought Imbolc supplies) and then to Quincy's. I had fun! Scott made a dead ice cream cone. Ugh.

Away we went to the mall in order for me to kick the shit out of him in Pac-Man. :) I rule.

Finally we got books for health in Norman Library and then studied. We "bitched" a lot. :)

Now I'm pooped, feeling unproductive and annoyed. How 'bout I sleep now?


I got up, got dressed (wearing my lovely Fellowship of the Earth T-shirt), and we left for Tampa. I edited on the way. It was cool. Didn't get much done, but at least I got started.

We arrived in Tampa. I got to meet Roxanne the puppy, and saw my mom. She'd put my Popple aside (the one I asked her to take away from the dogs) but hadn't repaired its tail or taken the rattle-ball away. I will repair it myself; I took my Popple and put her in a bag, and also took all my Pocket Popples and trolls. It pisses me off when my mother gives my possessions to others, especially for the dogs because they ruin them!! And she wonders why I removed most of my toys from her home and took them to college with me even though I don't "play" with them...I'm afraid they'll end up dog toys otherwise!

My mom attempted to unload clothes on me (I hate that even though she means well) and I left my tax papers. Then we went to go meet Steve and Bryan.

It was Gasparilla Day! I hadn't known, and I'd never been when I lived in Tampa. When we couldn't find Bryan and Steve, Phil and I went to watch the parade. The people on floats threw beads at us and we tried to catch them. I caught a few but most of the ones I got were gifts from Phil.

I found out promptly that some people suck about these things. Some lady in the crowd was chatting with me about how she liked my hair flowers. Then she told me she couldn't talk to me anymore when she found out I go to school in Gainesville (because she is a big FSU fan and our football teams are rivals). She wasn't really serious, I don't think, but she did stop talking to me! Also, one person hurt my fingers grabbing for flying beads. I didn't really care if I got any! But people suck...they were really fucking serious! Some floats were not giving out beads, and this one lady yelled at one of them, "Cheap, cheap, cheap!" I think it's cheap if you care. "You asshole, you're not giving me free shiny plastic for standing here! Jerk!" I mean, what the hell? Have a good time, don't get flustered over it! And those girls flashing their tits for beads...what are they thinking?

Anyway, except for the suckyness it was fun. I got a little cold. We found Bryan and Steve and stood around bullshitting a while, and then Phil, Bryan, and I went to get pizza while Steve went to get some clothes from the car.

I ate pizza and went potty, and then we met Steve again. It was cold. I began amusing myself by talking to Bryan in a Cockney accent, for the hell of it. I was rude, obnoxious, and boisterous. I had a lot of fun.

We sat at a table then, awaiting the concert. Phil put his coat on me. I felt protected. It is neat how men want to protect me because I am female.

Finally we shuffled over for the Indigo Girls concert. It was pretty good, especially "Kid Fears." A woman in front of me seemed to like me and I was sad when she went to look for her son, I think. I sang along even with songs I hardly knew. Oh well! Steve was tired and we couldn't find Bryan. Phil picked me up so I could see a couple times. :)

After the concert, Bryan found us and then Steve and he headed off to Denny's while Phil and I made for Gainesville. We stopped at a gas station for gas and SoBe, and then we got on the road again. A cop stopped us! He thought Phil's SoBe might be alcohol, so he asked Phil what it was between his legs. I had a feeling he wanted to answer with a wisecrack. We fought with the cop a bit (Phil didn't think he'd been speeding, at which point the cop bellowed, "ARE YOU CALLIN' ME A LIAR?") but we got off with a warning. I'm glad it didn't mess Phil up too badly.


I'm exhausted! I guess this is what I get for staying up too late all week. Oh well!

After school I gave Mrs. Renicks a lot of "brag-talk"; I told her a bunch of stuff I can do, like Web pages and editing and that kinda crap. Woo. After the clock hit 3:30, I headed out to wait for Scott D., who was late. I ended up talking to some random lady. I forget how we got on the subject of how a teacher was fired for practicing Wicca, but we did. I said "a minority religion" at first (when I mentioned the incident to Mrs. Renicks she left it at that) but this lady asked me what religion. She seemed to think "that particular religion" deserves more of its "bad rap." That's just the vibe I caught from some of her words and mannerisms. Oh well. She was cool though.

Scott took me home, and I was rather sleepity and had a headache so I napped off and on for the next few hours. Then Scott L. woke me up with a phone call. It was okay!

I went to Scott's. I got Arby's curly fries (courtesy of Morgan's mom Donna) and watched the end of American Pie, Kingpin, and finally two eps of Tenchi in Tokyo. In between, I showed them parts of my Web page. Yayish.

Now I have returned home and am pouring the boring events of my life into my journal. My life is boring by the sound of it, but I really do have a good time. Like today I delighted myself by singing the "Underpants Gnome" song in the hallway when no one was around. Also the weather was so nice and it made me happy.



We had to present in health class. Everything went smoothly except this one guy I chose to be the operator changed his lines! He did it on purpose, ad-libbing all over the place. He was trying to be all funny and get attention, I suppose. I was not amused! He was supposed to be the 911 operator, and he was supposed to be giving potentially life-saving advice to a poisoned child! When I wrote that he should tell the caller to save some of the vomit if the child vomits the poison up, he said, "if she vomits, just get a mop and a bucket..." I can't believe he had the nerve to do something like that to my presentation!

After class was over (and the stupid test), I waited for Scott and picked 2 4-leaf clovers. Scott stole my keys. I dumped the contents of my bag out on the porch and couldn't find them, and then he unlocked the door and told me to keep looking. Yeah right.

We played Pac-Man (I won) and ate Chinese food (I paid). Then we went to Toys R Us and Media Play. Woo.

At Scott's we made a CD and label and talked to Morgan. Then, at home, there was a possum on the porch. Melissa was watching it and trying to feed it. Weird.

I messed with my homepage a bit, argued with Victor over whether I could use Dialpad, and tried to convince Squirrel that he didn't suck. He tried to tell me I sounded "mad at him" because I answered his first question with "No." What is it with "No" today? He said it looked angry because I used a capital letter! I ALWAYS use a capital at the beginning of a sentence... Blah.


My eye hurts! I haven't taken my contacts out for too long and now one of my eyes seems damaged. I took the contacts out this morning and now my right eye waters really badly every time I close it. It hurts, too. I would think it would be best to let it rest and just nap, but it hurts to close it! AAAH!

I had a screwy dream last night. It was about my grandma (although it was not either of my real grandmothers) behaving inappropriately. It was my birthday and I was going out to celebrate, but at the celebration all of a sudden I was like in a little cult or something, and my grandma was the leader. I can't recall very well what happened but I was the subject of some kind of strange abuse, and so I decided to leave. Apparently my grandma was also orchestrating the somewhat voluntary torture of another group that night too; she told them that they had to eat a car. ::shrug::

* * *

Damn, my room's a wreck. I should have cleaned it this weekend. But I didn't feel like it so NYAH!!! Anyway.

Mike dropped off his manuscript today, and I'm proud to say I've already edited the first 100 pages. Milestone! It'll be done in no time. Scott visited too. He brought McDonald's and I gave him Coke, and then we played the piano a bit and played with my Furbys and Norns. He likes to abuse them! He tried to buttfuck my Furby! It was funny, though. It wasn't funny to me when he started smacking my norn, Marp. He's mean to non-biological animals. >:P

I talked to Squirrel, Clamsammich, and a cyber guy (well, and Dan, but that's a friggin' given). The cyber dude was funny! Well, I mean I was funny dealing with him. New IM for my page!

Clamsammich and I discussed Book 2 and other things Ivy. I liked it. I haven't obsessed over Ivy in a long while. I need to do it more often. I sent him Book 3 and he wants to order my Ivy calendar. Also, I ended up reading Book 3 a bit tonight. It's cute. :)

Finally I did a little more studying for MUE and wrote this, and now I will go to bed! NIGHTIE!


I had a weird dream last night, and all I can remember of it is playing a prank on someone: pretending I was falling from the sky (but I was really flying, perfectly under control), and then setting myself down gently in front of a person coming up the apartment stairs and saying, "Oh," and going about my business. *shrug* Sounds like something Ivy would do.

I woke up bright and early after sleeping ten hours or so, but I still wanted to sleep. Oh well. I went to eval (got back my project--100%) and then to music to take the test. It was easy, but we were interrupted. :P A condescending dude practiced his lesson on us. Mrs. Ward couldn't stop them from making it be today. They even wanted her to make us come FRIDAY (a day we don't even have class) to be guinea pigs for another candidate! FAT CHANCE!

Oh, I forgot. Yesterday, Mrs. Ward saw me outside the Health building waiting for Scott and she stopped to chat. She said I'm a neat person. Heh. DUH!


I am very upset.

My new teacher, Ms. Williams, told me first thing that she didn't want a new pre-intern. I can't believe it. So the entire day she treated me like a nuisance, except when she wanted to use me to do things. :( She called Drew and told him to stick me with someone else. I sure hope he does because I really don't want her to treat me like that for the next seven weeks!

I felt sick in the morning while I was grading papers, so I borrowed the keys and ran to the teachers' bathroom. I had to go #2 and it took me a while, and she got worried and came out to check on me. I think she thought I just split with her keys or something; I heard another teacher and her talking, and Ms. Williams asking if there was anyone in there. >:P

I don't like her very much. She talked to me like she talks to the kids, and neither way is very nice. She made me eat lunch with them. That's not a bad thing, but she left me there by myself and then all the kids started swearing and being bad. Many of them are not nice. I wish I had a teacher that welcomed me and appreciated my help like Mrs. Renicks. I miss her and the kids. She even gave me candy! :*(

The only cool thing about today was the fact that the children write very well...they can do math and stuff. They aren't as hard to teach stuff to as first graders; they catch on quicker.

Anyway, by the end of the day I was very sad, and I felt like crying. Ms. Williams reiterated that she didn't want me and told me I could go ahead and get out. So I went and saw Mrs. Renicks and the kids. I felt like crying again. I tried not to. On the way home in the car, Scott D. was sort of mean to me, saying that I could strike a deal with Ms. Williams, saying if she signed off on the paperwork I would go hang with Mrs. Renicks all day, and she could pretend that I was there doing work in third grade. I was basically appalled by that, and he berated me for being a "goody two-shoes" and said that I was not hurting anybody, and it wasn't lying unless they asked. THEN he got annoyed that I was getting upset with him. <:( Now I can't even check my eyes to see if they're red, because I know they will be anyway from crying.

* * *

I really want to go to bed. That's all I want. But ya know what? I can't. Ya know why? Because I can't get my contacts out. They're a new pair so they're slimy and practically impossible to remove. And with my eyes being not so happy with me this last week, I dare not sleep with them in. But what am I supposed to do? Can't do anything but sit here and complain and wish I could go to bed, with no choice but to wait until my eyes get dry again so I can try to take my contacts out. Again. I'll probably just end up having to leave them in for like three years. God I want to go to bed.

* * *

Well, I guess there's nothing I can do. I've been trying off and on for something like an hour, and my contacts really just want to stay in my eyes. What else is there to do? Nothing. So they're staying there for a while. DAMMIT.


Yesterday sure was horrible.

This morning I woke up, with my contacts in, and it looks like I have been in a fight or something. I'm surprised no one's asked me if I'm a battered woman. My eye itself looks about the same, but I have sort of dark circles under my eyes, the right more than the left. I wonder if it's from trying numerous times to get my contacts out and crying a lot yesterday? I hope it's nothing serious, but it looks like it might be! :(

Good news, though: Drew called me today and says I'll be with Mrs. Shintock instead of Ms. Williams. :) I am pleased. And my checkbook is balanced. How cool is that?

* * *

Today I spent a lot of time worrying about my eyes and cleaning. I took my contacts out this morning (Hurrah!) and my eyes look better, and the "dark circles" seem to have gone away. But I'm not better yet. I left my contacts out all day.

I did laundry, and after putting in the first load I went to the bank to get quarters. I went without my contacts. On the way out, some nasty men yelled, "Hey, girl, Hey, you, hippie girl!" Since when am I a hippie?

I stopped briefly to talk to Bobby, and then continued to the bank. I got my quarters and returned. On the way back down my street, the men were at it again. "Hey, girl. Want a beer? Wanna get married?" Yuck. I did not comment.

I had 2 Bavarian Creme donuts today. :)


Today I woke up but decided to go back to sleep. I had a weird dream about my parents replacing my computer with their old 386, and having to go get my computer back from some school lab. I finally fully roused myself around 1 PM, and skipped into the living room to rouse Fred. We cooked rice and fake bacon for breakfast. Before that, Fred had tea and we looked through my Valentines, good-bye notes, and old toys. After we ate, we decided to go shopping.

First we went to Mother Earth, where Fred got herbs and a cheesecake. He ate the cheesecake in the car. Then we went to Moon Goddess! Fred bought me a cool pentacle earring and a mini Tarot deck! :)

Then we went to other shops: Smoke, Side Effects, and Wild Iris. EVERY STORE we went to, including the convenience store where we bought drinks, had INCENSE. Weird!


Well! Today I had no trouble with my eyes, I wonder if they're okay for good now? :)

So. Today, Fred and I made mushroom and cheese omelettes for our breakfast, and he had Sunny Delight while I had milk. After our breakfast, we checked our e-mail, and I called Mike and my mom. Neither answered. Mike called back later and gave me a completely inconclusive answer on when he would come get his other book and pay me.

We played Creatures, and Li and Candy had a baby boy! Fred named him Cale. :) Then it seemed like Li went into a coma. Maybe he and Candy had too much sex; they did it like 5 or 6 times while Fred was in the bathroom! Poor Li. I hope he wakes up! :(

Fred and I hit each other with the toothpaste and bat blow-up things, and I made a funny face when he said he was too full to eat. <:Õ We chatted a bit and then decided to tucker out. Just like last night, I am too pooped to write. I am very disappointed. :(


Holy macaroni! *grin*

Well, today's my sister's birthday. She didn't know we were going to visit her!! :) So we were a surprise. As Fred would say, "a laugh and a half."

First thing's first: Today I wore my Fellowship of the Earth shirt and a shoelace tied around my head, across my forehead. Yay. We ate leftover pizza and I checked e-mail while Fred played piano.

I called my mommy and she told us what kind of cake to get, and when to come. Fred and I sat around playing Creatures and I packed, and eventually we left for Tampa.

We listened to Ween, Simon and Garfunkel, and They Might Be Giants on the way. We stopped at the Publix to get da cake (which said "Happy Birthday Lindsay") and we went to my house.

My mommy hugged me and let Fred and me have some of Jordan's Cookie, and told us about how L's love life has been with Jordan. Blah! Then Mom let her dogs out and they were relatively well-behaved.

Eventually Lindsay came home. She was surprised to see us! She had been bowling. She was smiling.

We all (L, Fred, and I) went out to get food. We went to Whaley's (where some co-worker of L's guessed I was 14), then to Publix for corn & coke and finally Walgreens for Vodka. Upon returning, Dad was home. According to L, Dad gave Mom money and they are on speaking terms. Yay.

Mom began to cook while Fred, L, Dad, and I did some talking and Seinfeld-watching. I told Dad about editing. :)

Finally, we ate. We had artichokes, corn, mashed potatoes, and filet mignon. Of course, I didn't eat that last. Then we had dessert: L's cake. :)

We decided to bowl, so Fred took L and me to Tampa Lanes. I bowled a 137 or something! Yeah. Phil and Bry were there. Phil guilted me for not calling him and I know he'll do it more tomorrow. He is a butt. I made the X in his bowling name say "Xcrement." (I made mine say "I'm very yummy" and L's say "Do I Smell" and Fred's say "Fizzy Jelly Soda." Bry's said "Rude and turdy," and he changed it to "rent-a-turd." Heh.) Fliggin!!


We watched The Price Is Right and then went out to breakfast. We ate at Bennigan's and it was really lunch. I had tater skins. :) Fred et a giant burger. We talked about music.

At home again, we played on the computer and read yearbooks. I bored Fred. :) Then he played piano more, and I watched/coached some while he played. Then I went out and watched a bit of some Elvira movie, and showed Mom some pictures. She says I don't cut my bangs specifically to bug her. Maybe she thinks I'll cut my bangs (or wear matching socks!) if she keeps telling me I'm "really" doing it to bug her. Ain't gonna work. I do what I do regardless of her opinion. *sigh*

Finally I went to the eye doctor and was a baby. I wouldn't let the doctor dye my eye, and cried all over the place 'cause I suck. Eventually we got it dyed with ME holding my eye open, not her. :) There's nothing wrong, she says; just moisturize them and quit overwearing my contacts. Blah.

Then we went home, and Phil came to take us to his restaurant, Buca. There we met Bryan, Courtney, and Jessica (a new girl). We had gobs of food but I wouldn't eat most of it due to meat content. Phil kept trying to get me to eat things that were cooked with meat sauce and it really bugged me. CAN YOU SAY VEGETARIAN? I knew you could.

So, we had fun at dinner. I liked the macaroni, there really wasn't anything else I liked except the Pepsi. We told stories, went through the contents of my wallet, and joked a lot. Fred told the "Tim O'Queef" story. <:)p

Finally we left. Back at home, Dad and I played duets! Then I puttered around with my sister, my mommy, and my daddy, talking about future plans. I packed up and we split.

Fred and I listened to Queen & TMBG on the way, with a brief talk about things that make us sad. At home, Fred was tuckered out, so I Internetted. Answered mail and IMed a bit, and read some Book 3. I woke Fred up (he was in my bed!) and put him in the other bed, and invented the word "oatmeal" to mean anything nonsensical. You can oatmeal and be oatmealing, or be oatmealish, or have oatmeal. :)


Happy Ostara! Blorgh.

I actually got up for class and dressed in my green shirt with the yellow-striped sleeves, and black cutoffs with yellow stocking shorts! Also I wore yellow-and-green stars and only one contact. >:P

Today was weirdly LONG. I went to my first two classes. In Music we had to do our songs, and I did my super-long one. :) People were really impressed! Then I went to Eckerd, where the guy thought I cast a spell on him to get the VCR tapes on sale. :) Hehe!

At home Ammy had a friend over...oh, no, first when I got home I made hamantaschen. Fun! I listened to Tori Amos. Anyway, then I went to seminar which dragged on forever, and then home where Ammy had her friend over. I colored eggs and prepared for my ritual.

I finished gathering shit and did my Ostara ritual. Scott called in the middle and I had given Ammy instructions that if Scott called she was to call him a bitch and tell him I'd call back soon. The ritual went well despite lack of planning. My circle was really nice. I made devilled eggs, ate salad and a caramel egg, ate nuts and drank wine, and gave up an apple. I added leaves to my Imbolc tree. :)

After the ritual I went to Scott's and watched a poor-quality Dogma on his computer. FUN!

Then at home again, I made a few graphics for cliques. Yay! All done!


Today was a dorky day. I got up around 1:30 or so and procrastinated pretty much all day. I did manage to get my lesson plans done, though, and submitted my clique pages to a search engine. Scott came over to get fries and I talked to Mommy. I told her about my prank on Scott. >:) So, we ate at McDonald's, and then I made Scott listen to annoying songs. After that he went home. I continued to procrastinate on studying, assuming I'd even be able to take the friggin' test on Monday. I talked to Joe (An odd one on AOL) and of course Victor (who has no hard drive space and so can't surf the Web, yet refuses to delete any of his all-important mp3's or PORN). Four scuzzbags IMed me: one who thought I'd want to do Web cams with him; one who spent the entire conversation trying to convince me to send him my picture; and one who insisted that we had common interests (or "comon iterests") because I write fantasy and he likes to talk about sex. Oh, and there was "Kyle T" who was exceedingly inebriated and very excited that I like Enya, but thought it was okay to call me "baby," asked me if I have "big ( o )( o )'s," and thought that because he guessed my age on the second try it meant we were destined to be together and should have "sexual intercourse." Okay. Go fig.


Today was mostly good. I got up at a reasonable time, braided my hair and put mini-roses in it, and wore my FLIGHT shirt. In eval I turned in my project and in music we performed our locomotion song (yay) and listened to some of our music. Ms. Ward acted out some music.

After MUE class, I went home and did the paper for seminar, then went to seminar and only stayed for a little bit because I was busy singing for FLIGHT! I went to the MUB roof and sang, and the wind was nice!

At home again, I prepared my project some and did lesson plans and whatnot. I tried to record a little of "Sanctus" before seminar but it didn't work. Hehe.


Today was fairly shitty.

I woke up and went to classes. In Eval I evaluated (hehe) my teacher and then we got our tests back. I had an 86 but with the extra points I have a 93. :D I did very well! Specially for someone who missed several classes, didn't read, and barely studied!

In music we did our silly songs again, listening to music we like. Yay. I made them listen to Dar Williams, the Residents, and...that's it. :)

After eval I went home, answered some e-mail, and then met Joe at McDonald's. :) We went to the mall and wandered around, and then went to my eye appointment, where I acted like a baby for the exam and the glaucoma test. :P Oh well! I suck! I'm a bad patient! :o

I have a bad eye infection! I can't wear my contacts for several days, so I got glasses. They're cute! I also got drops. They should rid me of my infection by Saturday, so says the doctor. :) PO! I pretended to be blind at Quincy's, where Joe and I ate. Heh. We ate while waiting for my glasses to be made. :)

What else? Scott found out how I pranked him. HA!!!!!!! He says he's getting me back and I think it will be a computer prank, so I put a lock on it. >:) I don't want to panic. We went out for McFlurrys. BLIZZIN!!!

Joe and I watched South Park, two episodes of Upright Citizens Brigade, and a Digimon. Heh! I bought an Ivysaur pad. And told dad how poor I/we are. D'oh! :)


I really didn't do much today. I slept until it was almost time for my eye appointment, then got up and took a shower (can you believe it?!). I got dressed and Scott came to pick me up, and we went to the eye doctor. I had to pay AGAIN! GAAH! At least I was a better patient this time. The doctor said my infection is gone but I have to keep taking the medicine for ten more days according to a certain schedule. That means I have to wear glasses all that time too. Oh well. At least I'm better! 8)

At home again I ate food and played with my homepage. I spent a great deal of time answering the messages in my guestbook and looking at their homepages...and some girl SWIPED my disclaimer! NOT COOL! That does not sit well with me!!!!! She also had navigation links set up to look like they were parts of her site and they are not. Boy, what a little Web pirate! I bet she didn't make up any of her own HTML either. FUCK! I'm just hoping she doesn't pretend that she made up that disclaimer herself. NO one is allowed to say that their homepage may not be appropriate for some types of CELERY but ME! And I think that disclaimer is the very oldest part of my entire homepage! DAMN. Get your own ideas!!!

So, after surfing & answering e-mail, I went to go host. I gave out all my tokens and had a nice shift. After that I talked online for a bit and then chatted on the phone with Fred. I played him Rent songs and complained about the doctor's office. When he got tired I hung up, and then I played Toonstruck until I was sleepy. I got to CD 2. :)


I thought I'd have to spend the whole day today just doing schoolwork, but like usual I put it off all day. >:) I just played Toonstruck (and beat it), and talked to Scott, ate, and Internetted. I worked on my notebook assignment (wow, I *did* something) and then went online. And GUESS WHAT...what's her face isn't planning on removing my disclaimer! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Not just that she took it and plans to keep it, but that she thinks she has the right to steal it because I didn't say it was copyrighted! Great, she thinks "no copyright notice" is the same as "distribute freely." Oh boy. She said "Sorry, hun, I'm not removing the disclaimer. You didn't copyright it so anyone can use it. Buh-bye!" I wrote her bad mail and told my friends. Ooh, boy, is she gonna get it! >:) I talked to Victor a lot and then...the day was done! :)


In Moon Goddess, where I went to get oil, the shopkeeper was talking to some guys. He thought my wallet on a phone cord was like his brick on a rope, which he uses as a pendulum. He went into the back and got it, then made one of the guys lie down under the hanging brick. "Don't drop it," the guy said nervously. "I sense you are a bit fearful," said the shopkeeper solmenly. BWAHAHA! I said he had a future in Pagan comedy, and one of the guys said his new trend would be "punk dulcimer." I laughed my ass off. I entered a drawing for Beltane to win something or other. I hope I win. :) Would be way groovy! Heh.


Notebook paper graphic used in the title image: Made by Heather and Warren's Gif Pages.