April 2000 through August 2000


How wonderful. A day completely free of class! I enjoyed it. Except for the fact that my plans were once again foiled. :P

I felt nervous about my eyes. They have little red veins in them, which I guess might be normal but I never noticed them in my eyes before! So I was nervous to put my contacts in. Finally I decided to just put 'em in...and I accidentally slingshotted the left one into the crack between the miror and the wall! I couldn't find it at first but managed to spot it and get it out with tweezers. :)

After my contacts were in, I mini-pigtailed my hair and glittered and flowered myself. Just in time for the doorbell to ring...it was Christopher, a guy from that really annoying magazine sales group that harasses us yearly. I'm always nice to those guys, so I invited him in and let him sit down. He said he wasn't selling magazines, but he was...he was just selling books too. I do NOT have $40 to drop on a recipe book! I told him so and he began pushing the magazines. The little booklet had "God is Good" and "W.W.J.D.?" stuff written all in it. I dunno what he was trying to pull. After I said there was nothing I wanted, he began trying to get me to buy stuff for my family, suggesting everything from 'Teen to Christian Life. Man. :P

As if that wasn't enough, then he started pseudo-hitting on me! He pulled the old "where's your boyfriend?" line. He said he wanted to marry me. And told me some of his sexual history. I really don't know what he was trying to pull. He tried to sell shit to Melissa but she was rude to him and escaped. I chatted with him a long while as I waited for Mike to call. We talked about a bunch of stuff, I can't remember all of it...some included religion, sex, races, and whether I want to be a model. YEAH RIGHT!!! I gave him a crescent cake.

So, after he left, I called Mike up and no answer. I helped Melissa on her page (but I suck) and cleaned up my room. Mike finally called at like 6! So we didn't get to have lunch or anything! I did not find the error he spoke of, but that's because I figured "Iraqi" was the plural form, since I'd called attention to the incorrect "Iraqui's" in the first edition. I looked it up and it needed an s. DAMN! We talked for a long while on subjects such as body language, mothers, my reading and our writing development as children, and my pranks. :]P

Finally I got off the phone with Mike and spent some time online, chatting and tweaking and e-mailing.

Finally Dad arrived! We chatted and ate at Denny's. Then we grocery-shopped. At home, we played a bit with the bolero and the keyboard, then chatted, mostly me ranting about Bitch and her theft. Finally...bedtime. :)


So, today I woke up and went to class as usual. Eval was boring and in MUE we just reviewed. I was graded on my piano proficiency and did well!

I saw Marty on my way out the door of the MUB. They were selling easter eggs but there was also a sign for "Passover Eggs" claiming, "They're Kosher!" Heh!

At home Dad was watching TV and waiting. I packed, and listened to The Blessing Tree while I did so. Finally we left. I got McDonald's fries! :) Dad's cool.

On the way down to Tampa we chatted a bunch. I can't really remember about what, I think we spoke of religion, Lindsay, and a little about my book.

At the parents' house, I bathed and changed my clothes, only to be attacked and slobbered upon by large dogs. *sigh* So I retreated to the guestroom with my belongings and read The Science Book. I like that book. :)

When Linds arrived home, we split. On the way up no one talked much and I dozed very briefly. I felt like Lindsay thinks I'm a giant dork. She probably thinks I am boring. I'm not sure.

So, we stopped briefly at a store to buy macaroons, where the cashier told me I resembled Baby Spice. Lovely. I really want to look like a Spice Girl. >:P

We had a nice Passover ceremony at Grandma and Grandpa's. We used new Seder books...I like the old ones better. I felt like this was too much reciting.

Lindsay found the Afikomen. :) We both got $10 anyway. Cool! During dessert I finally got to talk to Lindsay. It was great. I really enjoyed just talking to her about things she cares about.

We talked about stalkeresque ex-boyfriends! I hope to continue the conversation sometime soon...

After they left I yacked to Grandma a bit and helped clean up, and then Grandma made up my bed and I got ready. Now that I've done my journal entry for today, I may write, or outline the new story I've been thinking of. :)


I slept through the music test, so I had to come home, call Scott, and ask what time his test was. :) We got McDonald's, then went to his place and walked back to Norman, where we slipped something under Drew's door and talked to Ann. Then off to the MUB. He studied, I zoned out. Finally we took the test. I wrote a poem in answer to a test question 'cause I'm a dork. Then I went to the last bit of seminar. Yay. Scott D. took me home!

I worked on my Web page for the remainder of the day/night/morning. I finished the about me section! Unfortunately, BITCH did something even worse today: she put a notice on her page claiming my disclaimer is hers and that I am a dumb blonde. I am also referred to as a skank all over her page. Damn, I guess this is what I get for laying rights down for what is MINE. HORSE SHIT!!!


I spent a lot of time today fucking around when I could/should have been writing. Why? Sometimes I wonder why I put off writing so often if I love it so much! I was thinking about my book today and how I wanted to write the next chapter. And yet I didn't do it. Why?


So, here's what we did today. I showered and braided, and Fred played some Bushido Blade. I got my period, eww. Then Jes came home from getting her nails done and was all depressed because picking things up and functioning normally had become a major chore. Ugh. Fred and I went out for food at Boston Market, and we checked out the Dollar Store and an herb store also. They had a funny thing on the wall there about the history of medicine. :)

Fred and I returned and Jes was filing her nails. While Ron and Jes did last-minute things, Fred and I played Gazumba and Scrabble. In Gazumba Fred had one roll that was all 4's, and the NEXT roll was all 3's! FREAKY!

Jessica put my hair into Princess Leia buns and then we ate at Olive Garden. It was pretty expensive and very yum but I couldn't eat it all. Jes and I talked about music and stuff while the boys ate.

Oh yeah, last night I had a dream about Howard Stern trying to take my stuff. We became friends, though, and I played with him.

After Olive Garden, Jes, Fred, Ron, and I returned home and called up Jes's friend Mike W. We attacked him with squirt guns when he arrived. Then we went out and defaced the golf course sidewalks with juvenile humor such as "poopy" and other dumb stuff. Fred took a major league crap. Heh.

After defacing, we sat around on a playground wishing we'd all grown up together, and then we traveled back. We wrote puke synonyms in the parking lot and then watched UCB and South Park on TV. Fred fell asleep and we decorated him and took pictures. :) Mike and I discussed pranks with inserts from Jessica. It was fun! After Mike left, I explored his homepage, and then silly games. :)

My eyes don't look great. But I'll deal.


Fred's ability to navigate astounds me. We made it to the mall! Fred bought film (I looked at cute kid pics), I considered buying the Harry Potter books (but didn't), and we shopped. Nothing of interest. I changed in the ladies' room (their tampon dispenser had one slot loaded with Looney Tunes temporary tattoos!), then Fred and I went to Bunky's Raw Bar to photograph the sign, and then to the party. Fun.

It was exactly as I expected (except for the unfortunate fact that I could not see very well, as my glasses were hooked on my dress and rarely left their perch). Jes sat by me and gave me her attention almost constantly, which was wonderful. I enjoyed making fun of everything and everyone with her. I met Jes's weird mommy.

After din-din, we escaped and watched my Thanksgiving '88 video and the movie Mallrats. We also caught 2 bugs. Ew. Seth never showed up and Mike W. called us. Blah. I computered (read "Bloom" and a girl's Web page). I bet Jes can't sleep. Tomorrow she will be married. I wonder what it would be like to know that unless something goes horribly wrong, you will NEVER AGAIN BE SINGLE and you will ALWAYS be LEGALLY and MORALLY BOUND to another person? Marriage is sick. Turning points are scary. Gives me butterflies just thinking about it. How does she know Ron is "the one"? How can she trust her own judgment? She's even younger than I am. BIZARRE, I tell you.

Wonder why people feel a need to publicly bond themselves anyway? It makes breakups messy and love sort of complicated. I don't like it.


THE PARTY AT ED'S WAS GREAT. I seriously have not had this much fun for this long around other people since I can remember. IT WAS SO GREAT!

First off, I talked for a really long time with Steve, who is SoulStorm on AOL AIM and who has actually spoken with me before. He is great! He liked my shirt and seemed to like the fact that I was wearing a pentacle earring. He later described our conversation to Jessica as "the best conversation he's had in a long time" and credited me with rehydrating his brain or something. It was fun talking! We spoke about shows, religion, music, Internet, and other things. We didn't swim though we were mildly splashed and almost doused with whipped cream. Fred stayed in and ate, and apparently had conversations of his own. I really hope he was not feeling forlorn or upset at me...I came in to check on him a few times and invited him out to talk to us, but he really didn't have much to do with me all day.

I really like Steve! I can't wait to talk to him on AOL. I bet when most girls enjoy a guy's company as much as I enjoyed Steve's today, they start wanting to date him. I still have no interest. Hmm, he looks like Daniel. Sort of.

Later, Steve and I journeyed onto the patio and began conversing with others. It felt great. I felt like I fit in so well. Real friends are nice. Mike W. was there...we burst into song a few times with Seth. Seth is also GREAT.

Steve and I ate carrots and chatted more (while Jes and the others washed whipped cream off themselves with the hose), and I told him of Bitch and her exploits. Fred joined us for the Bobbitt Story.

Jes's girl friends were there too but I had little contact with them. Only boys.

We had some group chats and ate sweets for a while. Fred joined in some, which made me happy. He asks people polite questions. I wonder sometimes whether he really cares about the answers. Does he have fun? Usually he seems to. I don't know. :(

As night feel we chatted more. I got a back rub from Steve! He's not as good as Phil, but he's good. Jes, Seth, Mike W., and Steve and I had nice talks about all sorts of stuff. I got tired and sang and ate. God it was fun. Jessica is such a good friend. Oh, Steve was wearing a Sandman shirt! :)

After a bit more silliness, Fred and I split and Seth followed us home. Fred was VERY beat and took a shower, then went right to bed. I stayed up with Seth chatting about art (we looked at each other's art on the Web--he's GOOD!!!), and music and school. When I went in to brush my teeth, I stopped to hug Fred but I think I scared him! :( I knew it wasn't a good idea.

Now I'm in the bathroom scrawling. I need to end this entry and this night.


I had a pretty nice day. Yay. I awoke at Jes's and put on my bell-bottoms, and gave them fake pockets. Jes, Seth, Fred, and I ate at Chili's and played the "Anti-Us" game. The Anti-me is tall, bald, computer illiterate, and nymphomaniacal. Ha. The Anti-Fred never laughs, doesn't care much about eating, and talks a lot. :) We had fun.

At Jes's again, we had a ha-ha circle and took pictures, and Jes and Ron opened their presents. Mine is classified as "boring." :)

Finally, after much merriment, juggling, discussion, and dead-dogging, we departed. Fred and I got a bad toll (we paid but it wouldn't register!), listened to lots of music (Blessing Tree and Dancing Day, among them), and got Cokes.

At home again, we relaxed, had pizza, played Egyptian Rat Fuck and Spit, watched Chasing Amy, had Scott over briefly to print something, went on a lengthy walk during which I talked about mine and Joan D. Vinge's books, and finally I 'putered and read some of Book 4. It's good to be home.


Funny how a day can seem like such a long time. It seems like forever since my last journal entry sometimes, even though I write every day. I wonder what people will think of my journals someday if they get read? They are mostly stupid accounts of what I did that day. Blaargh. My life is not always interesting. But whose is? Probably not even Madonna's. :)

I talked to Mrs. Turner after class about not wanting to be a teacher. She understands! Joy. After that I went on a wild goose chase. To Criser, to pay my fees and apply for my diploma. To Norman, to get my form signed by a dean because I was late. To Robin to get my independent study sheet approved. To Criser to RETURN the app. To Norman to play on the computers! Little did I know the lab was closing early and I only got to play for like 10 minutes. :(

At home again, I finished reading Catspaw (admiring, as always, the incredible skill of Ms. Vinge) and took a lengthy nap. When I woke up, I got online. I talked to several losers, and also I spoke with Joe (about my book) and Bunky! It was a good, non-depressing conversation. Hmm. Unusual.

I read over my own stuff and had fun speaking with Chris--it was actually a damn good conversation, he wasn't being a little troll like yesterday.

I need to clean my room, find a place to live, pay the bills, and start eating. I have no appetite. I bet it's those horrid pills I'm taking for my nonexistent allergies. Ugh.


I had an argument with Mom about getting a car. I'm so annoyed about that. How does she think it makes me "self-sufficient" if someone else would be paying for the car? A huge expense and a lot of trouble for something I'm fine without. Welcome to Mom's world of nonsense.

Hmm, today was Ellen's birthday. I hope she had a good one.


Life moves forward with halting, nervous steps. Life wears Converse All-Stars. I tie life's shoes so that it doesn't trip over the laces. I tie them backwards, but they are still tied just as reliably. I can run and play in my backwards-tied Chucks just as well as anyone else. And on top of that, my shoes look cooler.


So...today, nothing extraordinary happened. I woke up to go meet Joe, wearing my homemade Tenchi shirt. We ate at Steak and Shake, where the fries taste like shoelaces soaked in grease and they play songs about girls who cry so much they flood the whole world. We ate "Bonz" candy, too.

At my place, we watched UCB and I taped it from him. We hung out in my room, looked at a bad Web page, and talked about our respective books. Then we went to Wal-Mart, still discussing books and possible covers. We bought blank tapes and squirt guns. (Oh yeah, and at Kash N' Karry Joe asked the deli guy if they had any kosher ham.)

We watched Eat-Man at Anime club, and Jill gave me an application to work at FBS. After anime club, Joe and I returned to my abode, watched Master of Mosquiton, watched the new Clerks animated series, and then I hosted. It was a good shift. After it, I answered mail (there was one from the UCB people!) and talked to jerks (one who said I had my head up my ass 'cause of my proper language), and watched UCB with Ammy. Yay.


Every day ends in the word "day." Why? We all know that it's a day. They should just be "Mon, Tues, Wednes, Thurs, Fri, Satur, and Sun." Like in Spanish, they're "Lunes, Martes, Miercoles, Jueves, Viernes, Sabado, Domingo." At least they're interesting. Our months are interesting. I'm not complaining. But who decided the birthstones? Why's mine a garnet? And why is Capricorn a Goat? Why is Air the element of the east? Why is left the direction of the Goddess? Why is "Ivy" a feminine name?

I'm tired. My sister came to visit me today and spent less than 2 hours here. That's depressing because it took her longer to GET here.


Next to last day of college ever.

School was dorky--my car went fine and my test was revoltingly easy. :P It rained on my way home.

Ammy was there with her sister and grandmother. They talked with me a little when Ammy went to work. That e-mail file I downloaded from Nitti turned out to be a virus. I had to change my password, send mail to a bunch of people who could have been sent the virus by me, and purge it from my system. That last was difficult, but there was a program that could do it. :)

When I was able to get online again, I reported all of the hacker's e-mail addresses and wrote e-mail thanking the guy who made the program. I joined a clique and surfed a bit. I talked to Victor, Ben (wow!), Brendon, Bunky, and Clamsammich. I love talking about my books with Clam.

I finished up my unit and got copies of it and my short story today. I watched some Kodomo no Omocha--wow--and played goofball computer games. Tomorrow, I no longer go to UF.


I am free. It feels good.

We had to go to Zoo Camp for the last day of class--it rained. And thank the Goddess I didn't even have to do my lesson. YAY!

So, what did I do to celebrate my completion of college?

You guessed it. Sat on my computer all night long.

I finalized my party date for July 1st and talked to Jessica and Bob. Mom sent me flowers with a card that said, "You are the shit that stinks up the sewers." Weird Mom. Jes and I invented the 8-ball game. :D

I messed with my homepage, trying to get the references to me being a college student off my page 'cause I'm NOT! HAAA!!!:)

I watched 10 eps of Kodomo no Omocha (that's all I have now) and then went online some more. I didn't do much there. Then when I got off, I began the graphic novel "The Picnic." It's gonna be awesome! :P

Now I'm off to beddy bye.


Note to self: Bike rides of extraordinary length make for butt-aches of extraordinary magnitude. OUCH.


Eventful day.

I woke up bright and early for my interview and made my way to the bus stop. I went to my interview. Luke, the manager, seemed to be warning me about my job rather than offering it and informing me. Heh. The interview went well (I thought) and I had to take a weird screening test. Strange.

I bought X-men tickets and had a cookie cup thing. Then I caught the bus home and got soaked in the rain. When I got inside, nasty e-mail from Mom awaited. *sigh* I wrote her back. Then I went to meet Joe (after talking to Brendon on the phone about his bad day). We had lunch at Chopstix Café. It was good but gave me poopsies later. >:P We saw GIANT goldfish. Heh.

Joe and I watched some UCB and South Park. Books-A-Million called and said I got the job! I start tomorrow. And Helen (the scheduling lady) is quite flexible. :) She and I talked and stuff until it was time for Anime Club.

We went to club, and talked about X-men through the first flick. Then we watched Slayers: The Great. It was funny, except for Naga. XP

Joe and I shopped, talked to Helen at Books-A-Million about Friday schedule, and came home. While we were puttering around in the apartment someone stole Joe's car!

I got off hosting to help him. His parents came and we went to the Po-lice station. It sucked but at least I didn't have to host.

I have a lot to be thankful for.


So, stupidity reigns again. I'm just looking forward to the day when I can come home from work, relax a bit, and then write, draw, or work on projects without having CRAP to do all the time. *sigh*

Today I worked (and got bitched at by some customer who was annoyed that I couldn't help her) and got picked up by Phil. We went back to my place and wasted a bit of time. Then Scott came to take me to dinner at Ryan's with his parents. I got to meet them and eat lots of yummy yum food! I couldn't BELIEVE their dessert bar! <:]P

After that, I came home and Phil wasn't here. I took the time to answer all my e-mail. :)


Before I talk about my day, I have to say that I'M PISSED! I purposely called BellSouth ahead of time to make sure this order worked out well, and now it's COMPLETELY fucked up! It was supposed to be turned on yesterday. No such luck. Well it didn't come on TODAY either! They said it'd been attached to the wrong address, I don't know, and said they fixed it and it would be on by, and I quote, "six at the latest." Well, just so you know, it's well after midnight now.

I went to the Woods office and bugged them by the phone. They said it'd be anytime up to midnight. NOT. So I went to the K + K pay phone, where a JERK guy was talking VERY LOUDLY in Spanish on the phone next to me. He had been there before I got there and was still there when I left, practically yelling his conversation.

I got severely fucked over. No one could help me. I called my own number and it said it had been CHANGED. If it has, I'm going to FUCKING SCREAM. I am REALLY FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW, and so frustrated I cried the whole way home and haven't stopped yet. Why the FUCK is BellSouth fucking with me? I wonder if I can get them to waive the transfer fee since they certainly haven't paid me what I would charge for getting FUCKED.

I feel lonely when no one can reach me. It's not living alone that does it; it's the fact that I have no line to the world. *sigh* I went out and looked at the moon today. It's still quite full. It makes me cry because it's so beautiful. Like Alanis' song "thank u." "How 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out?" Had enough of that today, thank you.

I have a big day tomorrow, so I will close out this entry--and this particular notebook. Goodnight.


Notebook paper graphic used in the title image: Made by Heather and Warren's Gif Pages.