What are your earliest memories?

Well, what are your earliest memories, wise-ass? God, I don't know. I guess I remember some stupid crap like my childhood birthday parties. I had some friends. We threw mud at each other. When I got older I tried to avoid having friends. Sometimes they avoided me because they thought I was creepy but it was more that I felt like I didn't belong with them that ended up giving me no friends when I got to be an older kid. I do remember breathing water for the first time, so that might be a good one for ya. I was six years old, at the beach, and when I was lying on my back in the ocean holding my breath I noticed I was kind of breathing anyway, it was very cool. It didn't surprise me though. I'd been to the doctor a whole bunch of times because they'd been discussing cosmetic surgery to get me to look like other kids, but we really didn't have the money for that. I remember knowing since before I could really remember anything that they thought it was weird that I had some sort of fish-like characteristics. I'd never been able to do the breathing thing in my bathtub water because it wasn't the ocean, and I couldn't even think about going in chlorinated swimming pools, that stuff actually hurt my skin the first time I tried it. Oh good, another memory for you. Other than that I remember stupid stuff like my dad teaching me to make a paper airplane. I have no idea what my actual earliest memories are.

Have you had any human friends or acquaintances before joining the current group? Which ones do you keep in contact with?

For a freak boy I had a pretty normal life until I went off on my own. I had a couple friends but no one really close. I was an only child. I still talk to my parents on the phone. I haven't seen them in years.

Any other languages beyond English you've become familiar with?

I once took French in school. Couldn't get by in France today, I'm sure.

Any foods you're particular to?

Is it stupid that I still really enjoy fish? And hot dogs. And potato chips. And sushi. And beer. And how about Girl Scout cookies?

Anything you've learned about yourself over the years since becoming acquainted... that you're willing to admit to?

With these guys I learned that I'm a lot more human than I thought. I spent a lot of time just whining to myself about how different I am, when really I ended up a product of the culture as much as anyone else. I know their stuff and I carry their attitudes, and I'm not that proud of it either. I end up having to fight my prejudices sometimes. It sucks.

What most amuses you about human society... and what also ticks you off?

God, where to start? I'm not all that amused by humans. I think watching television shows they think up is the best way to be amused by them--if you also figure in that I'm disgusted by almost everything they do that amuses me. Like, I turn on a television set and see a televised spring break party with musical guests judging a swimsuit contest. I find myself amused by the fact that money and time and interest went into this huge WASTE OF RESOURCES in a huge effort to find the chick who looks best in a bikini, as if this frigging matters, and then of course you can see why it disgusts me even as I laugh at them.