THE PHYSICAL:

Hair: Straight. Black. Short and wiry, sticking up all over the place. Stays the same length without maintenance.

Eyes: Wide-set. Small and beady. Light blue. Shaggy black eyebrows.

Nose: Black-button nose like a puppy.

Mouth: Has no visible lips and very pointy, yellowish teeth that are often bared in an evil grin. (Sometimes in his smaller grins he pokes his two longest teeth—the top canines—out for a mischievous little smile.)

Skin: Dark blue and mostly covered by black and blue fur.

Face: Has a round-ish face with a big widow’s peak where his hair starts. Big floppy ears with pink insides. Little yellowish vestigial horns right in front of his ears. Hair is a little longer on his chin. Resembles a stuffed animal sometimes.

Age: Indeterminate, but somewhere in his forties.

Height: Very small—about two feet tall.

Weight: Fairly light.

Body: Roly-poly with short arms and legs and a round tummy. Has grippy feet that let him hang upside-down if he wants—both his hands and feet have five digits each and end in pointy black claws. Has big blue-and-black leathery wings that fold up fairly small, just large enough that flying is an exercise. (His wings are not attached to his arms like a bat, but otherwise they look fairly bat-like.) Has a very short neck.

Ethnicity: He’s from a very distant dimension.

Distinguishing features: The wings, the teeth, and the teddy-bear resemblance.

Voice: Has a fairly high but obviously male-sounding voice that comes out a bit gravelly. Cannot sing at all, but sometimes does so to punish others. His laughter can only be described as cackling.

Gestures: Very big evil grin, flashed often. Tends to sit on people he talks to or hang on their backs. Puts his hands on his hips sometimes, which has the opposite of the desired effect (it makes him cuter rather than stern-looking).

Clothing and style: Wears no clothes, shoes, or jewelry, except for his sword’s belt and little chest harness. The tiny sword is always with him.

THE PERSONAL:

General mood: Usually pretty peppy, sometimes seems to have a short temper (but in a somewhat mischievous way, like he’s always ready to make or receive trouble). Sometimes gets whiny or argumentative when he’s bored.

Talents and abilities: Flying, teasing, and playing pranks. Very good at concealing himself when he wants to hide. Good listener. Creative with insults. Has very sharp eyes and very good hearing. Can suck juice out of fruit at an impressive rate.

Weaknesses and shortcomings: Sometimes makes snap judgments or unfair accusations, or reads incorrect information into other people’s actions. Can hold a grudge. Has a tendency toward passive-aggressive punishments when he’s mad at others, such as messing up their hair when they’re sleeping or leaving unpleasant things on their beds. Annoys others by shedding like a long-haired cat.

Interests: Flying, pranking, girls, and reading/hearing about the human world. Also likes to pursue understanding of the spiritual world. And, of course, Weaver LOVES music. His radio is one of his best friends.

Pet peeves: Being ignored. Being patronized because he is small or because he is not human. Being unable to be included in the outside world. Having to deal with Alix in pretty much any capacity.

Phobias: He doesn’t really fear very much. Has a gnawing suspicion that he left something important behind in his old dimension and worries that he’ll never know what it is. Also fears that Ivy will forget him.

Eating habits: Favorite food is fruit, second he likes nuts. Eats meat happily as well, but not if it’s salty. Enjoys rice when he can get it. Usually drinks water, but enjoys soda (which gives him the hiccups). Will eat whenever food is placed in front of him.

Education: Much of what he knows was acquired from books, television, and magazines. Has discussed history and religion with Adele in long conversations. Obviously he never had any institutionalized education.

Language abilities: Speaks English and remembers learning it but doesn’t remember what he spoke before.

Occupation: The household pest.

Political affiliation: Doesn’t really know what politics are.

Religious beliefs: Has a belief system nearly identical to Dax’s: Believes the Earth is the Mother and feels the need to thank Her and commune with Her through offerings and meditations. Is not very outspoken about this; prefers to keep it between himself and Dax and the Earth.

Sexual orientation: Quite fascinated by women.

Marital status: Nobody around for poor Weaver.

Family information: Considers the original group—Adele, Dax, Ivy, and Alix—his family, though often Alix resembles the younger brother he never got along with.

Friend information: Best friend is still Ivy, though he resents her departure from his life. Still very attached to Dax in a brotherly sense, and loves conversing with Adele. Gets along with Nina (but who doesn’t?). Has an active dislike for Alix and Bailey. Other information: Has extreme difficulty sleeping if he is not hanging upside-down. Has a different body clock that requires him to sleep approximately twelve hours every day in six-hour stints—he is awake half the day and half the night.

THE STORY:

Long ago, Weaver ended up in the human world somehow with a scrambled brain. He didn’t know who, where, or what he was, but as he recuperated from the journey he realized he had been captured by a strange old man who kept him in a large parrot cage. Eventually this man was quite useful in teaching him English, but obviously thought of him more like an interesting curiosity or a pet, than as an intelligent creature with its own will. Eventually Weaver escaped after a couple years of learning, watching, and being bored/entertained by the television and radio, and he made his way to the forest to fend for himself.

He met Dax there—Dax had a little less language and a little more instinct, and the two of them named each other and forged a brotherly partnership. Years passed as they created their way of life, cooperating to gather food and commune with the Earth through their belief system. Their own little ecosystem was fine for a long time, but then it was invaded by Alix.

Weaver did not particularly want to share their way of life with Alix, but as long as Dax promised he wouldn’t also include him in their religion, Weaver was all right to let him stay. They taught him the ways of the forest until he was capable, and in exchange sometimes Alix used his human-like looks to get goodies for them from nearby towns. When Adele showed up and joined the group, everything changed again.

Adele took care of the group and helped them in many ways, and the group also used her skills to find Neptune, a mysterious invisible girl in the forest. They spent some time learning about her and trying to get her to communicate with them before Adele found Ivy and their time was largely taken up with trying to raise her. Weaver bonded with her instantly because she could fly, and they became fast friends. Many times hanging out and flying with him was one of her distractions and rewards.

When she got older, got distracted, and then ultimately left the house for long periods of time, Weaver missed her and spent much of his time simply reading, chatting with others, and learning about music and history. He is always pleased to have Ivy back when she visits, but he has given up on having the relationship they used to, reminding himself that she’s mostly grown up already. In the future, Weaver will have to examine what exists for him in the world and what he’s going to do about it.

FAVORITE WEAVER QUOTES:

“Who says I give two and a half shits about your business?” –Book 0, chapter 2

“You think girls enjoy being beautiful?” –Book 0, chapter 6

“I got you!” . . . “You fell out of a tree! Wait ’til I tell everybody you fell down!” –Book 1, chapter 1

“It’s okay, I don’t bite . . . much.” –Book 1, chapter 10

“I wouldn’t mind a few cooties if it meant I could have some fun.” –Book 1, chapter 10

“I wanted you to get out of bed so you could come hang out. We haven’t played around since forever ago. But you wouldn’t wake up, even when I sat on your butt.” –Book 1, chapter 17

“I am going to kill that girl. She is now officially my dinner.” –Book 2, chapter 1

“Tell me a dirty joke or something.” –Book 2, chapter 3

“At least you can go places. I can’t do shit.” –Book 2, chapter 3

“Wait, I’m not your reason for living?” –Book 2, chapter 8

“I thought you might want some company.” . . . “You’ve got to have someone around to annoy you!” –Book 2, chapter 18

“I was just making a lame joke. You could at least laugh and humor me.” –Book 2, chapter 18

“We were talking about you, and we think you take too much for granted.” –Book 2, chapter 35

“When was the last time I pissed on someone’s bed, Ivy? Gimme some credit!” –Book 2, chapter 35

“I was only teasing! Jeez, Ivy, what are you so uptight about?” –Book 3, chapter 3

“Ya know, without that damn energy of yours, I could so beat your ass into chum.” –Book 3, chapter 3

“Dammit! Why do I always have to be the one to back down?” –Book 3, chapter 17

“Sometimes you’re not very nice.” –Book 3, chapter 17

“Sometimes I think you forget how long I’ve been around. I’m kind of like your big brother, and I’m old enough to be your father, ya know, so don’t go treating me like I’m your child.” –Book 3, chapter 17

“The thing about humans is, they assume God is as judgmental as they are.” –Book 3, chapter 17

“I’ve done a lot of thinking.” . . . “You should try it someday.” –Book 3, chapter 17

“Well, hey, at least I’m obeying the commandments of my religion by arguing with you. The tenth commandment is ‘thou shalt annoy Ivy.’” –Book 3, chapter 17

“Yeah, that’s what they all say. ‘Nah, he’s not my boyfriend’ one week and the next you get the wedding invitation. . . . ” –Book 4, chapter 18