swankivy.com - links page - offensive links

This page contains my favorite links of a decidedly disturbing, offensive, or adult nature. I have an "offensive" page mainly because I have a sick sense of humor but don't want more sensitive people to miss the non-offensive gems I've got picked out at the plain old weird links site. Don't get offended and pissed off at ME if you don't like something here; you are duly warned, and you should send any and all hate mail to the site owners, not me. Heh. These are in alphabetical order by site name.

The Ate My Balls List: Inspired by the "Mr. T ate my balls!" page, thousands of these things have were spawned in the mid to late 1990s. They are WILDLY HUMOROUS, though I probably think that partially because it was my first Internet meme.
The Best Page In the Universe: Here is the famous Maddox. This is a ranty page that insults nearly everything known to man. The main attitude of the site: "This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong." And that about sums it up.
Cartoline: Coffee Maker: Choose English or Italian and check out what's really in your drink.
Creepy White Guys: Gallery of really disgusting things white men say to Asian women on dating sites.
Cybersex Jerks Conversation Index: Of course I couldn't resist a little self-plugging. This page features recorded IM conversations with people who tried to cyber me. Usually I'm pretty sour about the whole thing (so you get to see me getting all pissed off), but sometimes I find an amusing way to turn them down. Regardless, actually seeing how they approach me is kind of entertaining.
The Dicktionary: This is a list of penis euphemisms. Hilarious if you're about nine years old . . . or have an extremely immature sense of humor like me.
Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms: No explanation necessary.
Dribbleglass: Disgusting and Funny Town Names: Just what it sounds like, all the really suggestive names of various places on the globe.
Girls with Animals: This was a sort of prank I came up with when I was in college, November 1999. These are just photos of girls with animals (as in, NOT bestiality), but I added enough innuendo that bestiality searchers probably find it now and then.
Home Vasectomy Kit: An Ebay auction tries to sell this product, with a very nice set of detailed photographs showing how to do it. (No nasty parts are shown, but it is actually quite amusing.)
How do I Swear in Foreign Languages?: Some nice creative insults in most of the popular languages from around the globe.
Kevin's Oddly Different Story Time: Curious George wasn't always a good monkey, you know. Did you know that Horton may have heard a Who, but he also hired a whore? This has James and the Giant Roll of Barbed Wire, too.
Look at My Horse My Horse Is Amazing: 'Kay. Rather nonchalantly disgusting song about how great this guy's horse is. It tastes just like raisins!
Not Racist But: Captures from public Facebook pages where people preface racist statements with "I'm not racist, but" or some similar phrase. What's offensive is these people's attitudes. If you ever want to drown in idiocy, just swim around here for a while.
oo: This page, frankly, is about balls. It was one of my very first offensive links, and really hasn't changed since 1995 when it was first posted.
Poop Report: Yeah. Stories about poop. Bleedingly disgusting.
Rate My Poo: Well, you go here, and you look at pictures of people's shit, and then you rate each turd. Gross.
Rectal Foreign Bodies: This page features kewl stuff that has been removed from people's butts.
Shit My Dad Says: A Twitter feed featuring a young man's septuagenarian father and the advice, insults, and crazy shit this rambly old guy says. (He uses very bad language regularly.)
Superdickery: Did you know Superman is a DICK? Well, he is, and this website has lots of comic pictures from real issues to prove it. A couple other collections of images include seduction of the young (old comic images that just seem dirty) and propaganda (mostly racist sentiments from the World War II era). Definitely fun and offensive.
2, the Ranting Gryphon: 2 is a gay furry--a gryphon to be exact--with some very interesting opinions. He likes to rant about stuff, and I can't get enough of it. At this site you can download little 4-to-6-minute rants by him and listen to him bitch about everything from politics to issues with furry fandom. He is . . . something else.
The Very Secret Diaries: Of the Lord of the Rings characters, of course. Did you know that half the characters actually want to have sex with Frodo? Read their private thoughts. Originally written by Cassandra Claire, spread across the Internet.

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