Open Diary Entries


Mysteries of the Universe

12/11/03

Many mysteries seem to be plaguing me these days.  I shall list them for you here.

Number one: Why don't I go to sleep when I know I should?  I've been staying up all through the night and living on two-hour naps since before I went to Japan, and granted, I'm getting a LOT of shit done, but I know I shouldn't do that to myself, especially seeing as how I could knock down my body's defenses just in time to catch that shitty flu.

Number two: Not that I'm complaining, but why haven't I gained any weight?  I ate like a pig this whole week practically.  I expected that I'd regret that, but I haven't seen it yet.  Maybe I should eat like a pig more often.

Number three: Why do the little purple things in my salad turn the whole bowl pink when I leave it in my lunchbox?  Just a thought.

Number four: WHERE THE FUCK DID MY SOAP GO?  Usually I notice when I'm running low on household supplies; I notice far in advance and have backup ready long before I actually need it.  So, when I looked at my hand soap today and saw it is beginning to make the fizzy "I'm empty" sound, and then noticed that the SAME thing is true of my body wash in my shower (!!! I just GOT that, it seems like) and I had to turn it over to get stuff out of it this morning . . . I thought, "When the hell did this happen?"  I think this is the most perplexing.

Number five: Why do these bugs want to live in my house?  I've historically had a recurring ant problem, but it seemed like that was really it, and it got taken care of last time I mentioned it to the pest man.  But all of a sudden now I've had to catch three ROACHES in two days.  I checked under the couch to make sure I didn't have half a melted chocolate bar or something, but there's no reason for this.  Why do I suddenly have roaches?

Number six: Who took my fire extinguisher?  I have a suspicion for this one: I think last time we had inspections, they took mine away to be inspected and never brought it back.  This time they wanted to do inspections and I couldn't find the damn thing.  But they gave me a new one.

Number seven: Why does my heating unit come on for less than a minute and turn itself off again for half an hour?  It just likes to torture me, I think.

Number eight: Why does "'Tis the season to be jolly" seem to be lost on the throngs of Christmas shoppers in my store?  Bunch of BASTARDS!

Number nine: Why hath nature decreed that I must bleed from the crotch due to having a uterus which could conceivably contain a baby?  I hate periods.

Number ten: Why do I feel I have to make my mystery list equal ten just because that's an even number?  I guess the Ten Commandments were pretty successful with that theme, and everyone knows you follow trends if you want to write a bestseller.  Uh-huh.

Curious about what I've been up to? Answer's threefold: Entertaining myriad guests and friends, doing creative projects (writing, homepage stuff), working.  Notice, sleeping is not in there.  I'm not really doing it.  Also I am flat dead broke.  Even after my parents helped me out.  But I get paid tomorrow (wooooogie!). 

I watched one episode of my new DVD A Little Snow Fairy: Sugar--the one Blink gave me.  It's amazingly cute yet not revolting and saccharine.  I like, I like!  Just have to find time to watch the other episodes on the DVD.  Also saw the Tenacious D special edition DVD, with the screwy skits that totally made my head want to implode. Thanks Phil, you're always good for that reaction.

Japan pictures forthcoming.


Notes:

gnomes. It's all about gnomes. [wunderkont]


The reason you are not gaining weight is because I am gaining it all for you!! ;p [Freder]


I love you. [Meggie]


Underwear & Socks!!! There's another mystery that needs to be solved: Why do they get lost whenever I do laundry?!?!?!

-Brendon


I laughed out loud right at Numbah 10. :) Now you DON'T have to get me a xmas present.

It is supposed to be bad to right christmas as Xmas... I need to find out why. [katqueen]


OMIGOD!

I used "right" for "write" in my last note! No!

NO NO NO! [katqueen]

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