Open Diary Entries


Holy rejection, Batman!

2/4/03

The newest in catching-up-on-my-life installments! Yours for only $19.95 or an Internet connection capable of peeking into Free Open Diary! YAY!

So. First order of business: The magazine rejected my story. Surprise! (Not.) Real surprise was, I got feedback from the editor. The note said the story was too heavy on exposition and that I should focus on a character, and that the background would just fill itself in.

*buzz* wrong. . . .

I know I'm probably talking to people who haven't read my story (it's called "The Curse"), but see, I think the editor kinda misunderstood my story, if that was all considered exposition. Half the story is this sort of macrocosmic view of how mankind, collectively, dealt with a huge crisis and picked up the pieces. And then it's interspersed with flashings to a character and how he was involved in causing the so-called crisis. It's not a bunch of exposition; it's half the damn story. Oh well. If they didn't understand my angle, fine. If my angle actually sucks, I suppose I'll accept that after I get rejected from a few dozen other magazines.

So. Work update, short version (I hope):

Michael.

This guy is funny.

Our back room guy is an incurable prankster, and he's turned his pranking eye on Neil. In the past his pranks have always been totally innocuous, like taking every toilet training book that comes in in the shipment and putting them in Neil's locker. (Neil goes potty and is seen coming out twenty minutes later, and no one knows what he's doing in there so long. We think he may need some assistance.) Anyway, so Neil's being a fuckhead about the fact that someone moved the comics he had on hold. He immediately suspected and accused Michael, who had nothing to do with it. It turned out it was our boss Stephen. And Neil got all snippity saying that he "had no right" to touch his comics. (He hadn't even bought them yet.) So that pissed Stephen off, and so when he saw what Michael was doing, he didn't stop him.

Michael decided that since Neil was so keen on his comics, he'd have to mess with them somehow. So he took them, put price stickers over some of the talk bubbles, and filled in his own insulting dialogue. A comic book hero's just been in a fight and his pants are ripped; the dialogue reads, "Neil tried to tear my pants off again!" An explosion in the background and a panicked comic book character shouts, "OH NO! Neil farted!"

Needless to say, Neil discovered these things and flipped out. Stephen apologized for not stopping Michael, and started taking the stickers off for him. While he was doing it, Neil was ranting about how it was so disrespectful. (Which it was, I agree.) This pissed Stephen off all over again, and he said, "You know, Neil, you are the most disliked person in the store because YOU are disrespectful to everyone."

I feel bad knowing he said that because no one likes to hear that nobody likes him. But then again, he's earned that unpopularity by personally being an ass to each and every one of us.

This comment threw Neil's attitude totally out of joint, and set him on edge about his behavior. He started trying to be über-nice to everyone, which was even weirder than normal, and almost comes across like he's condescending. We didn't know what to make of it. Then Neil asked me, "Can I ask you something? Have I ever been disrespectful to you?"

I remarked, "Well, there was that time you told me my ass was big."

Yeah. Pretty disrespectful.

He was like, "Oh, did I? I'm so sorry. I'm sure I didn't mean it." Ugh.

When Jeanette came in to work he was like "Jeanette! I'm so glad to see you!" Everyone was like, um, what is going on with Neil? Is he on something? No, he just wants us to like him. I started feeling sorry for him.

But then that day of course in his spurt of annoying I-must-be-über-friend attitude, he asked whether I needed a ride home. I said no, I was going to shop, I was fine. I bought a book from the store, and ran into an old friend and chatted, and then Neil was back, saying, "So, you want a ride now?"

Urgh.

The last thing I wanted was to be in a car alone with him. I didn't want to discuss the day's events, or have him ask for any more examples I might have of his disrespect, or worse, talk bad about Michael and Stephen. So I said I was going to the mall to check out the prices on getting my hair trimmed. He goes, "You want me to do it?" I said, "Huh?" and he's like, "I'll cut your hair!"

Nope.

So I left. Anyway. That's the newest Neil saga.

More funny stuff: Ariel (our café manager) came up to the desk, where me and Stephen were standing, and she said, "I have a condrundrun." By the way she was talking, it sounded like she was quoting some funny movie character who'd mispronounced "conundrum." I giggled, and she confirmed that it was from some movie, when Stephen said, "WHAT?"

She repeated it and then when he still had no clue I said, "Stephen, she means she has a conundrum."

"What the hell is that??" he asked.

"She-has-a-PROBLEM," I explained.

He wanted to know why we can't just speak English.

The other day I brought in honey cake in a basket. Stephen ate like half the basket, then yelled at me for ruining his breakfast. Hehe.

And last but not least, this morning I had to help Pat sew up her pants because they got split at the ass. I got to hear some really colorful cursing as a result of said split.

End.


Notes:

That's my Ivy :) Always able to allow others to be seen in new ways. I'm forever proud of you! -little mom :)


Golly, he does sound like a really weird case that Neil.. oO; ~Toraneko~


Neil the Nice Ninny. Ho ho, great to know things are so funny for ya! ;) [katqueen]

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