Cybersex Moron Conversation Index

Welcome to my collection of cyber losers! Here are the IMs and their descriptions. (Please keep in mind that some contain strong language and sexual connotations, but you should know that--that's why you're here! Also, these date back to 1997; do not assume that anything I say about myself is still true!)

  1. Kh, who wants a "69 metting."

  2. JD, who's "in Gainesville and lonely."

  3. Ramsey, who is obsessed with my ass.

  4. Coop, who wants to have phone sex.

  5. ROE--three words, "les have sex."

  6. JBowden, who wants to know what I'm wearing.

  7. Tracker, who wants to make my wildest dreams come true.

  8. SSC, who thinks I'm religious.

  9. Phunk, who SO wants to hear my stories. . . .

  10. PIRAT, who doesn't want to talk to any uglies.

  11. Loop, who demands my age/sex and pic in CAPITAL LETTERS.

  12. Azriel, who's looking for meaningless sex.

  13. MMS, who won't leave my cat alone.

  14. Wdsurfer, a French couple who REALLY wanted me in on their fun.

  15. MBank, a person who had the nerve (or stupidity) to IM me on my host name.

  16. Beast, who wants to hgave sex on the computeteter.

  17. DPuh, who's quite the mathemetician.

  18. User, who has a strange inquiry regarding my cat.

  19. VSalv, who IMed me when I was VERY tired of cyber requests.

  20. Cartm, who was unfortunate enough to ask me if I like to suck cock.

  21. RStan, who wasn't QUITE a cyber IM but is certainly stupid enough to ask. . . .

  22. TREX, who thought being sexy was an excuse to act like an idiot.

  23. Captain, whose thankfully brief IM restored my despair regarding the human species.

  24. JC20, a guy with such a short memory that he forgot he IMed me for cyber two seconds afterward.

  25. Grand, who was drunk, new to AOL, and wanted cybersex instruction from . . . me?!?

  26. Br, a guy who thinks I'm from Vegas and wants ta come over.

  27. UFxxx, who wants to know what I'm doing later.

  28. Vz, who wonders if I need a booty call tonight.

  29. LoLo, another Vegas fella who wants to know if I'm a good girl.

  30. Spree, who doesn't seem to like the idea of screwing a mad goat.

  31. SunRay, who wants to play.

  32. SSK, who *almost* got my boobs, really.

  33. Brs, who turned down a really great product offer.

  34. MEDone, who took forever to catch on to my little game. . . .

  35. Ludwig, who wants to tell me all about tori.

  36. Byron: watch out ladies, he's good looking! Can't say much else, though.

  37. Hous, who is easily led to discuss other subjects but really just wants a blowjob.

  38. TFS--knocked over by my typing, never to be heard from again.

  39. Scott, not a cyberer but has a very interesting outside.

  40. UFjason, who didn't try to cyber me but was probably a cyberer I nipped in the bud.

  41. TWD, who just wanted to chat. Really.

  42. Air Canada, who isn't into safe sex.

  43. Kurtis, who doesn't want to cyber . . . he only wants to know if I ever do. . . .

  44. CaptD, who wants to know if I'm boring, sexy, wild, fun, or sexy.

  45. Ryno, who wants to know if I want to join him and "his girl" tonight.

  46. Licher, who wants a wild woman.

  47. Terrbu, who got a very blunt answer regarding what I'm wearing.

  48. Zach, who knew not the implications of saying "Hey baby" to the likes of ME.

  49. M1: "How does your body look? Can we talk about your body? Send me a pic. Will you help me jack off?" My Lord!

  50. Jst, who's got some questions for me. Immediately.

  51. Rob, whose long-awaited resurrected IM involved labeling me a loser because I was online at 4 AM *not* looking for sex--and then apparently being embarrassed about everyone else seeing what a loser he REALLY is.

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