SwankiVY2: Oh, I never leave the house because I'm a nasty-looking dog and I don't want anyone to see me, sorry. I'm confined to a dark room so I don't frighten children and old people.

UFjason: oh yea,

UFjason: that funny

SwankiVY2: Oh, you laugh, but it's true! My meals are delivered to me by robot, and I have a bathroom right in my bedroom so I *never* have to leave.

UFjason: yea, thts funny as fuc

SwankiVY2: Oh, I wouldn't know, I never get any "fuc" because I am so hideous that no man would ever touch me.

UFjason: oh yea

UFjason: how ugly are you

SwankiVY2: So ugly your eyes would burn and your penis might melt.

UFjason: no shit

SwankiVY2: No, no shit, I'm sorry. I flushed. You can wait for my next one, though, and I'll mail it to you if you give me your address.

UFjason: alright

UFjason: ill give it to you later

SwankiVY2: Though I can't imagine why you would desire a sample of my stool.

SwankiVY2: Perhaps you'd like my genetic structure analyzed so that my ugly gene can be identified and eliminated from the future gene pool before it is too late?

SwankiVY2: Or maybe you're just one of those strange fecalphiliac people?

UFjason: dayum your buck

UFjason: or u sober

UFjason: are

SwankiVY2: My buck? What do you mean? I don't even have any bucks, or deer, or even dogs. They are afraid of my face.

SwankiVY2: And of course I'm sober.

UFjason: so tell me about yourself

UFjason: be candid

SwankiVY2: Well. I'm into midget porn, I enjoy smelling my own socks and collecting my bellybutton lint, and I enjoy making effigies out of my earwax and praying to them.

UFjason: oh yea , im into the same shit

SwankiVY2: I'm not into shit, you're the one into shit.

SwankiVY2: I just like the smell of my foot odor, not my shit.

UFjason: oh my badd

UFjason: didnt know you werent a fecal freak

SwankiVY2: Nope, that is your department.

UFjason: oh yea

UFjason: thts my shit

SwankiVY2: So why are you bothering me with it? Go steal diapers, or sleep in a horse barn, or something.

UFjason: did all that

UFjason: older now

SwankiVY2: Sure.

UFjason: alright yo

SwankiVY2: All right and yo what?

SwankiVY2: Why are you IMing me?

UFjason: no reason

SwankiVY2: If you don't have a reason, then stop.

[And he did! Boys and girls, I want you to look at how well UFjason follows directions!]