JD: lets talk fantasys

SwankiVY2: What kind of "fantasys"?

JD: well im drunk and fuced up so lets talk

SwankiVY2: Do you realize that the plural of "fantasy" is "fantasies"? It's that little "ies" thing that happens when singulars turn plural.

SwankiVY2: You know? I mean, to denote that we have MORE than one fantasy going on here. . . .

SwankiVY2: Got anything more to say about fantasies?

JD: true but i want to talk a little dirty

SwankiVY2: hey! Do you have a dog

SwankiVY2: ??

JD: yaa-a boxer

SwankiVY2: I got an idea!

JD: lets hear it

SwankiVY2: You can talk dirty to him! It will do you just as much good . . . and you can still wank off, and he won't tell anyone!

SwankiVY2: But let me tell you . . . he also won't clean your keyboard after you finish jizzing all over it.

JD: naa- i find someone else, if your not in the mood

JD: im not some dirty old man

SwankiVY2: Did you honestly think I would do that with a marital status of "single, NOT LOOKIN'"?

JD: soo

SwankiVY2: I don't give a shit how old you are. You're looking for sex on the computer . . . so I suggest you take your virtual dick elsewhere.

[He left me alone for a little while; however, about 20 minutes later, I got another IM from him.]

JD: hello there

SwankiVY2: Hey, get any cybersex?

SwankiVY2: I was hoping you'd gotten some.

JD: i am in gainesville and lonely :)

SwankiVY2: Cyberspace is pretty good for that crap nowadays.

SwankiVY2: Well, my dear, what would you like me to do about that?

JD: tell me what your wearing gal........

SwankiVY2: Well. I'm wearing a long-sleeved fur coat I got in Alaska. Its hood is feathered with wolf fur. I'm wearing ski pants and flip flops, and my day-glo socks.

JD: ?

SwankiVY2: I'm also wearing disgustingly hideous orange lipstick.

SwankiVY2: And my polka dotted undies and matching bra, of course.

JD: wow

JD: vivid description gal

SwankiVY2: My earrings are as big as doorknobs! And if you're lucky, I'll hit you with them!

JD: got a pictur

SwankiVY2: I sure do!

JD: me toooooooo

JD: want it

SwankiVY2: How about I send it to you!!!

JD: ok

[At this point I sent him a picture of one of my male friends.]

SwankiVY2: I sent it!

JD: hold on

JD: you a sick fucker

SwankiVY2: Hey, you didn't ask for a picture of ME.

JD: yes i did

SwankiVY2: No, you said "got a pictur"

SwankiVY2: I had one. That was one of them.

JD: r u mor f

SwankiVY2: I'm female, of course. See, you already knew that, since you looked at my profile.

SwankiVY2: You found me through the member directory.

SwankiVY2: I wouldn't have come up if I wasn't female, since that is what you were looking for.

SwankiVY2: What exactly do you want with me, bro?

SwankiVY2: Oh, are we not speaking? What a shame. I really thought we were going to have some fun.

JD: iii

SwankiVY2: Oh, what does that mean?

JD: why r u sending me a big black man

SwankiVY2: Well, you asked if I had a picture. I do have pictures . . . and I just picked a random one. That's my friend!

JD: well im not gay

JD: im intersted in playing with a fem

SwankiVY2: THAT's obvious, dude.

JD: so what r u

SwankiVY2: You're also obviously interested in playing with your dick. . . .

SwankiVY2: AND you don't listen too well.

SwankiVY2: I SAID I was female.

SwankiVY2: I'm not interested in being sexed up online by some intellectually challenged macho pig.

SwankiVY2: If you can type me a complete sentence, I might consider you worthy of my time.

JD: then tell me what your wearing

SwankiVY2: That's not a complete sentence. You lose!

JD: fag

SwankiVY2: It had no punctuation, a total disregard for capitalization, and it also could be taken as a sentence fragment.

JD: gay

JD: ass

JD: lick

SwankiVY2: Are girls considered "fags"?

JD: guys who harass other guys get HURT

SwankiVY2: I honestly don't think you have the correct terminology here.

SwankiVY2: Oh, that's a shame. Are you going to hurt guys who harass you?

JD: ill report you to the company

SwankiVY2: I'm afraid I have no penis. I'm not a male. I'm a female, probably of the human species.

SwankiVY2: Oh, you're going to report me for refusing your cybersex offer?

JD: i refused you

SwankiVY2: I'm afraid I've said nothing incriminating. And you have, pal.

SwankiVY2: You didn't refuse me. You asked me.

SwankiVY2: I have proof right here, and I'm logging this, and I'm going to send it to all my friends!

JD: you aint got a friend

SwankiVY2: I have many friends. If you had bothered to ask me anything besides what I was wearing, you would know that.

SwankiVY2: But . . . you didn't bother to learn anything about me . . . and you're probably sitting there still thinking I'm a guy . . . so do you honestly think I give a crap about what you're saying?

SwankiVY2: I refused cybersex with you . . . so I must be a guy, huh? Because no REAL woman would refuse a stud like YOU, Mr. Hot-Pants.

SwankiVY2: Oh! I bet you've found yourself a good virtual slut. And you can't handle typing to both of us since you've got only one hand free. I understand!

JD: you missed out

JD: sorry

SwankiVY2: Hehe! You honestly thought I wanted your sorry ass?

JD: i know u wanted it:)

SwankiVY2: I regret nothing! I laugh RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! Your attention is practically insulting!

JD: it turns me on

SwankiVY2: You would tell me you were a sleek, suave man, when in fact you're a cybergeek.

JD: i got dreadlocks

JD: wanna see

SwankiVY2: Do you know how many people JUST LIKE YOU IM me every single day because my marital status is listed as "single" and my sex is "female"?

SwankiVY2: I have no desire to see your hairdo.

JD: no and i dont care

JD: what about your body send me pic

SwankiVY2: You're one of a very large and growing number. Just a cock without a brain.

SwankiVY2: Do you honestly think I would send you a picture of me? After everything you said to me and about me?

SwankiVY2: Do you REALLY think this????

JD: pweeze :) im really a good guy

SwankiVY2: You have nothing but a dick and no brain! Your pelvic region CONTROLS YOUR THOUGHTS!!! Do you think I'd give ANYTHING to a person with the IQ of lint???

SwankiVY2: My God, do you think I'm three years old??

[It got to be no fun once he quit replying, so . . . I let him go.]

Mikey: I think this fellow will always be lonely, and then states that he is really a "good guy," good for what? Oh wait I know when Viagra doesn't work call back in the puffer that's what JD is good for bringing male stars to attention, that and a good laugh with his pathetic attempt at a life, stop thinking with your crotch tard.

DiLL: hahahaha, i love how your superior intellect totally destroys this poor fellows 10 minute hopes and dreams... lol you should have criticized he was a pre-ejaculator, lol a speeding bullet to say. that would have been amusing. gah! please dont rant at me for not using proper punctuation and capitalization, im really to lazy to do it! honestly! (why do i always read the first and last of every column and then everything in between? i unno. THANKS FOR THE REPLY THOUGH! I didnt think you actually would! COOL! XD)

Zei-kun: Hillarious! loved it,laugh the hole time especially the part when he says YOU harass HIM
jeez people do forget quickly
your sarcasm and witty comments are priceless XD

Nyasu: "Hey, you didn't ask for a picture of ME."

Gold. Just...gold. xD