SwankiVY2: hello. . . .

CaptD: how are you doing

SwankiVY2: I'm okay.

CaptD: so what are you up to?

SwankiVY2: Talking to one of my friends about my book, and trying to help another friend.

CaptD: i'm sorry, do you want me to leave you alone?

SwankiVY2: No, not especially. You're not bugging me.

CaptD: ok, so what kind of girl are you

SwankiVY2: Tell me the types and I'll see if I fall into one of your categories.

CaptD: borring, sexy, wild, fun and sexy

SwankiVY2: Okay, so sexy is on there twice, and if I'm not fun or wild I'm boring?

SwankiVY2: I think I'm fun. I have fun.

SwankiVY2: What type of person are you?

CaptD: ok, wild

SwankiVY2: Too bad we probably have different ideas of all of your categories, seeing as how we just met.

SwankiVY2: See, I dunno what you mean by "wild."

CaptD: well, what can i say

SwankiVY2: Does "wild" mean "gets drunk and parties every weekend, thinking one is a party animal and a rebel"?

CaptD: yes

SwankiVY2: Or does "wild" mean "Eats chocolate for breakfast"?

SwankiVY2: Or does "wild" mean "wears a HORIZONTALLY striped tie when everyone else at the office wears a VERTICALLY striped tie"?? Oooh, rebellious.

CaptD: no

SwankiVY2: Want to hear what "fun" is to me?

CaptD: yes

SwankiVY2: I love to write novels, meet people, draw, be creative, write and experience music, read, make websites, and go places with friends. And I am partial to ice cream.

CaptD: what about sex

SwankiVY2: I didn't mention sex for a reason; it's not my idea of fun. I suppose it's yours?

CaptD: ok

SwankiVY2: Did you IM me hoping I had some sex to give to you?

CaptD: who knows

SwankiVY2: Well, you do, of course.

SwankiVY2: You IMed me for SOME reason, and you know it better than I.

CaptD: ok, well you going to help me out

SwankiVY2: Do you need a house built?

SwankiVY2: A sink unclogged?

SwankiVY2: A manuscript edited?

SwankiVY2: 'cause I'm real good on that last.

CaptD: edit me

SwankiVY2: Edit you?

CaptD: ya

SwankiVY2: Remove your flaws and replace them with good things?

CaptD: hook me up

SwankiVY2: Hmm . . . okay. First I'll replace your blathering with social skills.

SwankiVY2: Then I'll present you with some interesting hobbies.

SwankiVY2: Lastly, I shall remove this piece of brain from your genitals, and put it inside your skull, where it belongs.

LaSombnambule: Darling, you can't deny you get a kick out of ridiculing these poor losers...