From: asmon
can any one get this chick to to do nude shots

[I responded to him because I guess this happened at a point in my life at which I had not yet learned not to give these people the time of day.]

Hi asmon.

I'm responding to your guestbook message that you left after visiting my site.

can any one get this chick to to do nude shots

I guess I'll just say that's a rude and inappropriate thing to say whether you were kidding or not. I doubt I need to say anything else.

~*~*iVY

[But he responded!]

To: Ivy
From: asmon

thats not rude i want to see you nude thers nothing wrong with that ok fine do you have any in a bikini then

To: asmon
From: Ivy

When a girl has given no indication that she wants to pose nude, it is indeed rude to suggest it. Do you honestly think it's not rude to just say to someone, "Hey, take your clothes off!"

I don't want to hear anything else about your wish to see more of my body, however complimentary you may have meant it. There is QUITE enough nudity, porn, and scantily clad women on the Internet to satisfy you; it's just damned ridiculous to ask me to join them.

~**~iVY

To: Ivy
From: asmon

i think that alot of people would like to see you naked why dont you take a pole to see how many people would like to see you naked. all te othere naked people look like supermodels there are no average girlss tat are naked and you have any bkini pics

[Yeah man, that's gonna get me on your side real fast--say you're sick of all the super hot girls naked and you just want an average nude chick. I wonder if he thought that would work?]

To: asmon
From: Ivy

i think that alot of people would like to see you naked why dont you take a pole to see how many people would like to see you naked.

Okay, you're missing the damn point. I'm not arguing that people wouldn't WANT to see me naked. The point is, they don't have the right to ask me for that sort of thing. You don't know me, and here you are just sending me messages encouraging me to pose nude and then getting all defensive when I tell you to go to hell. Whether people would LIKE naked pictures of me is beside the point. I am not taking them, and it's rude to ask me to. End of story.

all te othere naked people look like supermodels there are no average girlss tat are naked and you have any bkini pics

There are plenty of regular everyday people stripping on Webcams and posting "naughty wife" pictures all over the Internet, from stunningly beautiful to downright ugly and everything in between. Word to the wise: Asking people you do not know to take off their clothes for your pleasure is not something you can do and not be treated as a RUDE JERK. If you think you could go to a bar and ask any "average" girl to strip and not get your face slapped, you are indescribably out of touch.

But I think we already established that fact when you wrote your first e-mail to me.

Just leave me alone.

~*~*iVY

To: Ivy
From: asmon
Subject: one last question

how did you get your website up on google.com i can get mine up the

[What? He thinks he can ask me for Web help now? No. But unfortunately, the fact that I ignored his message just made him continue to bother me.]

To: Ivy
From: asmon
Subject: i need to ask a question

how did you get your website up on google .com

[I ignored this too. He went away for a while, BUT E-MAILED ME AGAIN TWO MONTHS LATER.]

To: Ivy
From: asmon

i just want to apologize for any disrespect that i caused you ant hope we can be friends i hope you post more pics cause i think you look marvoulous

[Oh gee, how sweet, huh? EXCEPT THAT I THEN RECEIVED THIS IN MY GUESTBOOK THE SAME DAY.]

From: bobby [last name]

lets scrape so money togethere so we can convince this borad to post some nude pics of herself

[And just in case anyone would express that I should have regarded this with reasonable doubt since he signed it "bobby" instead of "asmon," this then appeared shortly afterwards:]

From: asmon [same last name as bobby]

i still want to see some nudy pictures onthis website

[I deleted both of these. He followed up with this:]

To: Ivy
From: asmon

can you please except my apology han we can get on with our lives

[Oh, yes, I need to accept an apology so we can get on with our lives. That's exactly what's happening here since you're still going into my guestbook under your own name and an alias trying to encourage me to post naked pictures. Definitely sounds like you're sorry! I forgive you! Not.]

To: asmon
From: Ivy

can you please except my apology han we can get on with our lives

I'm not having any trouble "getting on with my life," considering your interruption in said life has not exactly been a tire-screeching hangup for me. If there is anyone having trouble "getting on with life" because of anything that happened, I'm afraid it's only you.

I have not been answering anything you wrote because it's obvious you are not sincere. How can I accept an "apology" if you respond to my silence by going into my guestbook more than once and posting AGAIN--AFTER the "apology," even--that you demand to see nude pics? Am I supposed to believe that's someone else? If so, what do you take me for?

Anyone who apologizes for an act and then immediately turns around and repeats the act they've just apologized for is not SORRY. If you were driven by some kind of guilt or desire for vengeance, I don't see how it could be helping you to deal with your feelings by harassing me. I don't owe any forgiveness to you, and I don't intend to grant it, considering you've shown me by your actions that you don't deserve it.

I'd just block your e-mail at this point if I didn't know for a fact that you'd just harass me from another address, so I guess I'll just advise you to stop contacting me. Your comments are not welcome, whether it's to bug me for nude pictures OR to pretend you're sorry for asking. There seems to be no constructive way to speak to you, so I plan to end my conversation here. I suggest you do the same.

~*~iVY

[FINALLY he stopped contacting me after that.]