The Day I Found Out I Was a Guy

All these years I've thought I was a chick. I've been shaving my legs and wearing a bra and taking a pee--with the seat down, no less--in WOMEN'S restrooms. Can you imagine how stupid I felt when I took the "What Gender Are You?" test at TheSpark.com and it informed me I was definitely a man? Wow, now I feel like an idiot for going by the name Ivy all this time . . . people must've thought I was such a sissy!

Well, I'm ready for my new life. I will discontinue shaving my legs immediately, and will begin shaving my face instead, except for that little bit where I'd like to grow a goatee, 'cause I've always thought they were so cool. I will stop wearing skirts altogether, except for the occasional kilt. And I will aspire to sing bass instead of soprano. I will stop wearing stockings to work and begin wearing a tie; I will bitch-slap anyone who dares to call me "Ma'am"; I may even get a girlfriend and behave chivalrously with her to show what a good man I am. I will do my damnedest to stop menstruating.

Oh, and I will change my name to Ivan.


COMMENTS:

Any comments left here are PUBLIC. If you are not comfortable with that, mail me directly.


Comments from others:

Mikey: I have no reason why this test would say such a thing and it makes me wonder what I would be rated as, and no I don't think you should change your name to Ivan I just don't nope that wouldn't work.


Omar: u is a freak!!!!!!!!!


Marintha: Rofl, she's being sarcastic you dope. :gives you a cookie: Those tests are so sad. XD Stereotyping and then some.


Liz: I find your sense of humour very funny. :)


Amberly: If it makes you feel better, I'm a guy too... according to the test. I'm not though. At least, I was born a female...


CursedFreedom: You are hilarious. hmmm, I wonder if any of that was sarcastic...


Shaleen: It told me I was a dude too.
You're not alone. =/


Brianne: These tests are always so backwards. They test based on stereotypically 'feminine' and 'masculine' qualities and assume that anyone who behaves in a feminine way must be female, and vice-versa. Is it so hard to accept that people are made up of many qualities, both masculine and feminine, and that gender is made up of so much more than just those things that can be lumped in as 'manly' and 'womanly'?


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