The mentoring experience had a lot of value for me; there was no one thing I can focus on. I would start by saying that first of all it was very valuable to get to see an unconventional school environment in action. The Caring and Sharing Learning School is not set up like a “traditional” classroom; it looks a lot more like it was a house first, set up into a school, with all the classrooms under the same roof and able to hear each other. It showed me that not every school will be as easy to teach in or as much like my own elementary school experiences as I thought. Secondly, it was valuable to me to work with a student who has a bit of trouble with his work. The other students I had worked with up to this point were either exceptionally good students or else they were just behind. The kid I worked with did not pick up concepts very easily and also he got bored and frustrated quickly; this experience was valuable in that it gave me a chance to deal with that type of reaction in a child and learn what to do. The lesson planning every week was more than just valuable. It taught me responsibility, and how much work and thought have to go into every lesson, and also how easily tossed off lesson plans can be when difficulties are encountered or more favorable activities spring up for the student. And finally, being in contact with the parent of my student was very valuable; I was very pleased to find that my student’s mother was very supportive of her child’s education and that when she was around he tried to impress her with his knowledge. Parental interest and support, I learned, is very important to most children, at least it was to mine, and it showed me that if I do become a teacher I’m going to want my children’s parents involved in their education.

2. What was difficult about mentoring?

It was very difficult to “force” my student to do things he did not want to do. I am not, by nature, a very strong-willed or firm person; I am much more inclined to “go with the flow.” But I found it was necessary to be firm with my mentee or else he would just get up and walk off and bother other students, or try to waste time by getting a drink or going to the bathroom. I never would have seen myself telling a child that he or she could not go get a drink, but then I realized that my student was just trying to get out of working. It was also quite difficult to deal with the distractions; if I had been able to get my student in a more isolated place I would have had his attention much more easily. My student was very easily distracted by those around him and it was very hard to keep reminding him to keep his bottom in his chair and his mind on his work. It was difficult also to deal with his frustration; he would get to the point where he just wanted me to tell him the answer, and on the rare occasions that I did tell him he expected me to do so for the next question and got upset with me when I wouldn’t budge. I didn’t like being thought of as “the bad guy,” but it became apparent to me that often children react very strongly as if they are very angry in order to see if they can make you stop making them work. It was not that he personally thought I was mean; it was just that he thought if he acted angry with me then I might let him do something more fun. When I stayed firm with him, the anger went away very quickly and he began to work; that was a difficult step to take.

3. Who helped you with mentoring? Please list all the sources of help you drew on, and tell how each helped you.

I had my roommate’s input on a couple of the activities I tried, which encouraged me. I asked my student’s teacher what he needed to work on, and found that he was behind in just about everything: reading, writing, and math. I talked to other students in my class, who didn’t do much in the way of giving me ideas but told me that they were having similar difficulties with their mentees. I read over some of the lesson plans in the Bright Futures handbook to get ideas about activities to do; this helped me in a few of my activities, but only once or twice. And I read my student’s file before I went to tutor him for the first time, so that I could find out what he liked and center my activities around him. Of course, the student himself was a “source” of help to decide what to do in future mentoring, too. And my student’s mother, who tipped me off that her son liked dogs, influenced me to choose a book involving dogs for a reading activity.

4. What is your overall reaction to the mentoring experience?

Frankly I’m glad that it’s over with, but mostly because I was getting so exhausted what with all the planning I had to do every weekend and the long bike trips out to the school (I don’t have a car). I’m glad it’s over because I now want to focus on my final exams that are coming up and some of my personal life, but that certainly doesn’t mean I didn’t have fun while I was there. I didn’t much enjoy having to plan so much, and I didn’t enjoy it when my student “used up” all of my activities before our time together was up, but I did like my student, and I did like playing with him after tutoring was over with for the day. That was our bonding experience, playing after tutoring. My mentee was very often impatient with me, very often demanding, and very often asked if he could have my personal possessions, all of which annoyed me, but I learned to deal with it pretty well. I enjoyed parts of the experience, but overall I’d say there was a lot of frustration involved on my part, and I had to part with a lot of my free time that I didn’t want to give up. I still very much value the experience, but I can’t say I’d want to do it again, at least not immediately!

5. Any other comments/suggestions/concerns?

I must comment that I think that the kids at my learning center, including my child, are having some experiences I don’t approve of. There was a lot of violence, both among the students and among adults! There was a lot of yelling, and at one point I actually witnessed a father beating his child with his belt inside the school building where other kids could see. I’ve seen the kids push each other and be very violent on the playground while adults sit by and either don’t notice or don’t think it’s a serious problem. Perhaps it isn’t but only seems so from my standpoint. In any case if anyone had pushed me down in elementary school they would have been in the principal’s office. I don’t think that this environment is helping their education at all . . . There is also little respect for personal possessions; I had kids steal from me or get upset when I wouldn’t let them have my things. I can only conclude that this must go on during the school day too. The children are often disciplined by stern, loud reprimands or even get physically hurt, but the discipline does not appear to be working since these children misbehave very often. I am concerned about this because I cannot see my child growing up to be productive and happy if he doesn’t know how to respect another person’s body or belongings. He was not one of the particularly troublesome kids as far as being violent and taking things goes; actually on several occasions my child was affectionate with me and once when I accidentally left something at the learning center he returned it to me the next week. However, I am afraid these good behaviors may disappear in the next few years if he continues to be exposed to this kind of environment.

Of less importance: I have a suggestion. For tutoring, these kids need “quiet time”; this was absolutely impossible at the learning center where I tutored. I wish that there was a way to take the students away to work individually with their mentors, because it is so easy for them to be distracted; I don’t know about them, but I personally cannot learn new concepts or concentrate on difficult topics if my environment is loud! I would suggest that there be some way of at least putting some distance between each mentor/mentee pair so that each pair can work together more effectively.